I come from a long line of successful, opinionated people. When proven wrong, I punish myself by eating live kittens and beating myself with a plastic spatula. I regularly practice voodoo magic on people who are anti-Clemson. Secretariat, the lucky Capibara, dominates my dreams. There is no other nut than a honey roasted peanut. I bathe my elderly pet elephant on Tuesdays and Saturdays with a rag on a stick. I enjoy much beer, but give me Crown and thou shalt know true happiness. The other day I learned why cats lick themselves... they're friggin' delicious!
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