Two South Carolina fans die and wake up in h*ll. The next day, the devil stops by to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens, and bomber hats, warming themselves around the fire. The devil asks them, "What are you doing? Isn't it hot enough for you?"
The two fans reply, "Well we're from Columbia, the land of concrete and fire. We're just not used to it being this cold."
The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat. The next morning, he stops by again and there they are, still dressed in their parkas, mittens, and hats. The devil asks them again, "It's awfully hot down here, can't you guys feel that?"
Again, the fans reply, "Well, like we told you yesterday, we're from Columbia, the land of concrete and fire. We're just happy to cool off a little bit."
The devil gets a little steamed up and he decides to fix the two fans. He cranks the heat up as high as it will go. The people are wailing and screaming everywhere. He stops by the room with the two South Carolina fans and finds them in light jackets and hats, grilling burgers and drinking beer. The devil is astonished. "Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you seem to be enjoying yourselves."
The South Carolina fans reply, "Well you know, we don't get too many nice days in Columbia, we've just got to have a cookout when the weather is this pleasant."
The devil is absolutely furious, he can hardly see straight. Finally he comes up with an answer. Those too are so used to the heat, it's time to go in the other direction. He decides to turn all the heat in h*ll off.
The next morning, the temperature is below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere. The people are shivering so bad, they are unable to wail, moan, or gnash their teeth. The devil smiles and heads for the room of the two South Carolina fans. He finds them back in their parkas, mittens and hats. They are jumping up and down and cheering.
The devil is dumbfounded. "I don't understand. When I turn the heat up, you're happy. Now it's freezing cold, and you're happy. What is wrong with you two?"
The two South Carolina fans look at the devil in surprise. "Well don't you know... if h*ll is frozen over, that must mean the Gamecocks won the National Championship!"