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All-In [47827]
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Wife and I are in a heated discussion about one of her friends so GITT
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Apr 18, 2024, 8:59 AM
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since some of yall are stepdads, some are trying to be step dads (stubborn_tiger) and I know everyone else has had the thought of "If I tell this ##### exactly what I'm thinking I'm going to be divorced and have to be some brat's step dad"
So here's the situation:
Backstory: Friend of wife, we will call Jackie had just remarried. She has 3 kids. One is in middle school and a great kid. One is a freshman in high school, also a great kid. One is a senior in high school, he's a little turd nugget. Senior kid HATES new stepdad. Bio dad HATES new step dad because Bio dad wants Jackie back. Younger kids like new step dad.
Situation:
Jackie will NOT let new stepdad discipline the children. I'm not talking about spanking etc. I'm talking about if he tells the kids to do something and they don't do it he has to get her permission to ground them. Senior kid is taking advantage of this and being a little #### on purpose. Finally ol dude had enough and told Jackie that if he can't have some autonomy in how the people in the house act and treat him then he's leaving. Ol girl said bye. He left.
Our sides:
My wife's side is: That's my children not yours. You get a say in discipline but I have the final decision in how my children are raised and disciplined.
My side is: When we got married, what was yours became ours. That means those are our kids (me, wife, bio dad). I'm going to have a say and a role in disciplining the children that are in my house. We can discuss it, but the decision will be mutual not a "thank you for your input"
Who's right?
FYT:
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Oculus Spirit [89544]
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Who is right is dependent upon what you find more attractive
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Apr 18, 2024, 9:05 AM
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A stickman with a skinny head and no legs...OR
A cylinder that fits in the palm of your hand.
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All-In [45447]
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See. This is (another) shidpost.
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Apr 18, 2024, 9:12 AM
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He gone. Not your business. WGAF?
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Heisman Winner [122398]
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So all divorced guys remarry immediately and become a step-dad?
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Apr 18, 2024, 9:12 AM
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Is that what happens in the boonies?
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All-In [30414]
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Those who can't.
Apr 18, 2024, 8:49 PM
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Become stepdads.
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Orange Blooded [4687]
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question got me feeling like....
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Apr 18, 2024, 9:15 AM
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All-TigerNet [12740]
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IMO you are right
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Apr 18, 2024, 9:16 AM
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you can't bring a person of authority, ie adult into a situation like that, expecting some help in taking care of kids, and hamstring them like that
Betting they have separate money and checking accounts? Not that there's anything wrong with that, but marriages that aren't all in with everything to me are starting off hobbled.
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Lot o points [162135]
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What is this, the view?
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Apr 18, 2024, 9:19 AM
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Are you on estrogen?
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All-In [45447]
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Eh, pretty sure he thinks he's on reddit.
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Apr 18, 2024, 9:44 AM
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You know, the place where seemingly people go to ask questions that they think are worth discussion.
In fact I'm right around 100% sure he made the whole scenario up just to try and get a thread going.
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Oculus Spirit [78222]
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He prob just copied it from Reddit.
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Apr 18, 2024, 11:09 AM
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Looks like a Reddit post for sure
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Hall of Famer [23888]
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for once
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Apr 18, 2024, 9:21 AM
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you're right.
had a buddy who is dating a chick, and she was saying similar stuff to him. as they continued to progress (talking < 6 months here), he realized the kid was a little turd nugget as well, and said no chance I'm taking this relationship any further relying upon you only disciplining and having the bio dad undercut me at every turn.
broke it off.
allegedly, she's working on this stuff, they're still banging, idk, he's an idiot (she's hot though, I'll give him that). but proud he said nah
I have a co-worker in a similar boat. He's the step dad, who happens to have 2 kids w/ the wife as well. so 2 step kids, and 2 of his kids, same woman. fairly high falutin people here...she's a doctor at a big ATL hospital, he's a VP level dude in my company.
he's got a major, major mess. step son calls cops (I think 3 times), yells, screams, punches holes in wall, steals ####, has gotten arrested like twice, expelled, all kinds of ####. I use him as an example to friends looking at single moms as a warning sign. my buddy can do absolutely nothing, even in GA.
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All-In [47827]
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"had a buddy who is dating a chick"
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Apr 18, 2024, 9:41 AM
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yes we are all friends with stubborn_tiger
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Oculus Spirit [99677]
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Let me put it this way.......
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Apr 18, 2024, 9:32 AM
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My wife tells the kids to go upstairs and get ready for bed. They tell her "NO." She then yells at them to go upstairs and get ready for bed and they yell back at her "NO!!!!"
IMMEDIATELY, I then tell the kids to go upstairs and get ready for bed (in a firm voice, but NOT yelling), and they go. Immediately. No arguing, no complaining, they just listen.
It drives her crazy, and I've told her what the problem is, and she refuses to listen. Which.....is why the kids refuse to listen...... to her.
And as mad as my wife gets about this, she knows the problem, and as such she never tries to pull rank in this area. She knows my purpose in raising them, and I know her purpose raising them. And this isn't really an issue with us.
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All-In [47827]
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Re: Let me put it this way.......
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Apr 18, 2024, 10:24 AM
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All-TigerNet [11004]
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Re: Wife and I are in a heated discussion about one of her friends so GITT
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Apr 18, 2024, 9:34 AM
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...He left...
Just happy to know it worked out well for the guy.
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Heisman Winner [108109]
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Except the whole
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Apr 18, 2024, 9:41 AM
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Alimony checks to ex
and isn't there some weird scenarios where you might be paying child support for kids that you didn't father but you were their legal guardian. I got no clue on that one, but I feel like I have heard of that.
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All-In [47827]
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Sounds about right. The courts are definitely prejudice against men.***
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Apr 18, 2024, 9:43 AM
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Oculus Spirit [99677]
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Not the courts I work with.
Apr 18, 2024, 10:14 AM
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Lol. They don't even give children's money to mothers anymore, by default (I think) it goes to a GAL for the child, as mothers (and fathers I guess) can't be trusted with large sums of money intended for their own children these days.
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All-In [47827]
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Good. That's what it should be instead of dad sending child support
Apr 18, 2024, 10:20 AM
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and mom has new nails, new lashes etc and child is wearing dollar general clothing
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Commissioner [977]
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Re: Wife and I are in a heated discussion about one of her friends so GITT
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Apr 18, 2024, 9:41 AM
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Well, he needs to come back and bang Jackie just one more time for "old times sake". Then just leave and mark it down to just one of the mistakes that your make in life from time to time because Jackie is not going to change. He's always going to be in second place to her kids.
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Legend [18250]
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What kind of dog rides in the passenger seat?***
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Apr 18, 2024, 10:27 AM
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Oculus Spirit [83395]
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This seems like just another reason why a person
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Apr 18, 2024, 10:30 AM
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should never get married, especially twice, or to a woman with somebody else's kids.
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Oculus Spirit [79970]
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No kidding, I couldn't imagine wanting to put myself in that kind of situation
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Apr 18, 2024, 11:06 AM
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Having your own kids is hard enough, f*ck dealing with someone else's. Especially when it's not unlikely they'll hate you.
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Oculus Spirit [83395]
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I have a buddy that's in that situation.
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Apr 18, 2024, 11:10 AM
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Friend-of tries his best to keep those kids from effing up their lives, but they seem determined...and that seems easy because they are really, really stupid.
And you can't fix stupid. You can only watch it.
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Oculus Spirit [79970]
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The pooty can't be worth it man, they're liable to be causing
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Apr 18, 2024, 11:18 AM
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him problems for the rest of his life. And they aren't even his kids!
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Oculus Spirit [83395]
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He's on a countdown to when they turn 18.
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Apr 18, 2024, 11:23 AM
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I've never seen kids make such stupid decisions. He said that if he can just keep them from getting themselves killed before then, he'll consider it a success.
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All-In [41144]
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Wife is right***
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Apr 18, 2024, 10:32 AM
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Oculus Spirit [78222]
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As a step father myself this is a normal dynamic
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Apr 18, 2024, 11:01 AM
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With teenage boys that are step kids. The older boys and I got into it w each other several times at first. I’m not their Dad and they don’t really want me bossing them around. So now I just let mom handle it and things are good between us.
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All-In [47827]
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And I'm sure that's normal. I think what this little punk was doing is
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Apr 18, 2024, 11:04 AM
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intentionally pushing the dude's buttons until he snapped then went running to mom and bio dad about it.
I wouldn't stick around for that either.
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Oculus Spirit [78222]
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One time I threw the modem off the back porch
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Apr 18, 2024, 11:12 AM
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Bc the kid was playing Xbox until 5am and waking me up bc his room was next to the master. So I went and got modem and tossed it down the ravine. That didn’t go over well w the 17 YO
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All-In [45447]
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So your wife is about to move in with the State Trooper, and you
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Apr 18, 2024, 11:12 AM
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don't want him to discipline your kids, at minimum the way he "disciplines" your wife.
I think I understand what's really going on here now.
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Oculus Spirit [78222]
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Honestly we need pics of his wife to really make an educated decision***
Apr 18, 2024, 11:13 AM
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Oculus Spirit [79970]
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All-In [45447]
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I'm with you, but you say that and don't know what it's like
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Apr 18, 2024, 11:25 AM
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when you are immersed in a game of freeze tag at Pamplico Middle School and the State Trooper gets woken up mid-day by little crumb snatching kids being homeschooled by their whoar mother.
Prolly tough to sort out discipline in these scenarios.
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Orange Blooded [4191]
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Re: Wife and I are in a heated discussion about one of her friends so GITT
Apr 18, 2024, 12:00 PM
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He was dumb to marry her without planning all that out up front.
He had to know her oldest is a POS and should have planned for it.
The solution is you don't marry people like that.
but, yeah, he's right.
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CU Medallion [50425]
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Bro
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Apr 18, 2024, 12:29 PM
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Girl in gif 2 is like 12. Have fun getting asspounded in prison.
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110%er [9484]
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Odds are marriage will end in divorce. She needs to read - 2nd marriage 101***
Apr 18, 2024, 1:06 PM
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Hall of Famer [23422]
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Depends on severity of discipline
Apr 18, 2024, 2:09 PM
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My kids know to respect other parents and their house rules if visiting friends or sleepovers. If they don't respect the rules, even if I disagree with them, we have a serious talk.
In that case, the stepdad is right. Those kids should respect his rules and consequences if misbehaving.
However if it's a large discipline issue, then adults need to chat and get on the same page. But good luck getting a 18yo to listen.
Why did he not take this into consideration before marriage? Buddy of mine is refusing to marry his girlfriend solely because she has an adult son who is a terd loser that refuses to work or move out of the house. He loves the mom, but no chance of marriage unless she figures it out.
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Hall of Famer [21613]
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You are right.
Apr 18, 2024, 3:26 PM
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But tell your wife she's right because it will help you and their situation doesn't matter to yours.
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All-In [30414]
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This being an issue *after* they are married suggests he's a gigantic idiot.
Apr 18, 2024, 8:51 PM
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This is like being shocked that your new spouse has $100k in credit card debt.
Or being shocked that your new spouse huffs opium like a Chinaman.
How do you not have all this ironed out before you put a ring on it? No poonanny is so good that you marry it blind.
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Replies: 39
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