Re: Where's the weirdest place you've ever put your penas? 6 Nov 15, 2023, 10:03 AM [ in reply to Where's the weirdest place you've ever put your penas? ] Reply
Two weeks after I turned 14 years old, my mom took me to Myrtle Beach to take our minds of my dad leaving us to go chase his dreams of becoming an actor in Florida. She was flush with cash from selling the gear he bought when trying to become a DJ, so she got us a suite with a parking lot view at the Ocean Crest. It was the nicest place I’d ever seen. I honestly couldn’t tell if my mom was crying tears of joy or if she was still bummed about pops.
Anyhow, we went to Broadway at the Beach and got hammered. She had all kinds of guys buying her drinks and she’d slide an occasional one my way. I wasn’t very good at drinking back then, so it didn’t take long until I felt like I was going to get sick. Mom sent me back on my own while she tried to find my future ex-stepfather.
I was so trashed that I tried to get into room 201 at the Sea Dunes instead of room 102 at the Ocean Crest. It turns out a 50 year old realtor from Florence was staying there for a conference. She was one of those people with a good heart and invited me in her room to sort everything out. After taking for a while, she asked if I wanted to play charades which happened to be my favorite game.
One thing led to another and I ended using her shower cap with a rubber band around the base as a makeshift condom. I’ll leave it up to you to decide if the shower cap or a 50 year old realtor from Florence is the weirdest place I’ve ever put my penas.
I am going to be an ### and just straight up say I have had tickets and premier parking passes that I have paid out the mothra for and I haven't seen you once at those games.
Dude you talk so much #### on here and throw weight but I don't buy it.
Just one mans opinion. And don't play that Alum vs. NonAlum. That crap don't fly. I have been IPTAY since 1999. Took all my boat cleaning and waxing and bar tending dollars and put it all into IPTAY. I had season tickets while you were dancing with the ugliest chick in high school.
I call you a ####### fraud and always will. You ############# fraud.
Oh and of course I've consumed a fair amount of alcohol along with my innermost thoughts. Now I have no choice but to reveal what the heck is going on. When we exist with just the existing point system we realize that ##### are #####.
Heck, when facebookchildmolesterasshole.cum showed up with his complete azzbag attack against the hero that is Tajh Boyd, the lunge stook together. When TOTE1! got banded, the lunge stook together. #### when shorty handled those balls while hiding the first down marker...
Friend, it's not just tickets I'm afraid. Oct 24, 2018, 9:50 AM
At the Syracuse game, I was making my way as per normal to our spot(s) on the Avenue of Champions. As I pulled up, much to my chagrin a vehicle already in my hospitality spot (I have a spot for the Rover and a separate spot for catering to set up in so that my guests and I don't have to mingle and dine amongst the hoi polloi.
It wasn't just any vehicle, no this was the entry level Mercedes SUV, the GLC or something. I still shudder when I think about my associates walking by and perhaps thinking that was my new vehicle of choice---it would have sent a really poor image about the current state of my business enterprises and finances.
I confronted the young thirty something couple about their transgression, and they got a bit indignant, saying they had paid $400 for the spot and that they had friends coming by. I gently explained that if all it took to park there was $400 and a $20 box of chicken, every aspirational social climber and their brother in the fanbase would have spots there. Then I made a quick call to Davis Babb, explaining the situation. 5 minutes later he arrived on his golf cart and explained to the couple that indeed they were parking on hallowed ground. We try not to be petty, but as they got in their car, my son, Chaz Spencer III, gave a little "hey hey hey, goodbye". We chuckled and then went back to instructing the caterers on how to set things up.
So be careful folks. If something seems to be too good to be true, it probably is.
Our shower is encapsulated in glass, I call it "The Viewing Cube". Just the other day my wife was standing at the sink brushing her teeth, and I smushed my butt up against the glass and let a glorious fart rip. I call those "Enhanced Farts", because you really get a lot better quality sound out of them that way.
Lakebum again
She once ruined a nice Friday night dinner with my fam because I had peed on her car earlier that day as a joke and it just enraged her.
calling Jake Bentley a poosay right before the Carolina game came on and wife instructing me to not pee in the floor.
To be fair, I have not peed in the floor in years. Last time I had an incident I peed in the trashcan, so she was being a bit rude to me.
Lakebum again
What's the fastest you've ever gone from liking/respecting someone to flat out wanting nothing to do with them?
My most recent example of this came a few weeks ago, when I was searching for someone to do some work on my boat. I get to chatting with the guy, seems nice enough, maybe a little FOS, but whatever. We're just BSing and he starts talking about "what you used to get away with". He starts insinuating that he'd give chicks quaaludes. I'm like ohhh, I hope this guy makes a good (Insert boat part here) but I need to leave. Then he starts talking about one of his customers wife, and how he couldn't imagine her teeth running down his ######. At that point I'm all JerrySeinfieldI'mout.gif This guy didn't know I existed on the face of the earth 30 minutes ago, yet here we are. Crazy.
Second happened this year too, one of my customers. Nice enough guy, so I thought. I went to visit him and we're BSing outside, and he mentions his dog had run away. I'm like aww yeah man that sucks hope you find him. He says that's not HEre's what happened to OBed the worst part, his wife is freaking out about it cause a few years ago he had somewhat of a drinking problem I guess, ended up killing her two labs with a shotgun and burning their bodies while she was at work. He's saying it so casually I couldn't really process it at the time, I'm just smiling and nodding like w tf did he just say?! I'll have to go back there eventually and meet with him, I'm sure it'll be awkward. How do you be nice to someone who tells you something like that?
Anyway, 19B, I'm putting you up there with those people for your watermelon comments. You ####### savage animal.
This other dude walks in behind me and we both head to the restroom, walk in, there's 2 urinals side-by-side with no privacy screen. Whatevs, I ain't skeered and we both start peeing.
10 seconds in, dude next to me stops and STARTS WHIZZING IN MY URINAL! WE ARE SIMULTANEOUSLY WHIZZING IN THE SAME URINAL!!! I didn't have to check his watch to see what time it was because it was adjacent to my own
50
