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Replies: 51
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Tiger Spirit [9341]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Bored at work Dad jokes
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Jan 20, 2023, 11:06 AM
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Bored on a Friday so figured I’d ask all of you fine Tigers for some dad jokes. Here’s my go to.
What do you call a wreath made out of $100 bills?
A-reth-a Franklins
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Offensive Star [307]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Bored at work Dad jokes
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Jan 20, 2023, 11:11 AM
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Why was the math textbook sad? It had nothing but problems.
Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators? It lifts their spirits.
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Tiger Spirit [9341]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Bored at work Dad jokes
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Jan 20, 2023, 11:14 AM
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Doubled down, nice!
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Letterman [164]
TigerPulse: 91%
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Re: Bored at work Dad jokes
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Jan 20, 2023, 4:03 PM
[ in reply to Re: Bored at work Dad jokes ] |
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Why do they call it PMS?
Mad cow disease was taken.
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Rival Killer [2868]
TigerPulse: 100%
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My wife said there are 14 reasons that I annoy her...
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Jan 20, 2023, 11:16 AM
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Not including my obsession with tennis.
I told her, "That's 15 Love"
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Tiger Spirit [9341]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: My wife said there are 14 reasons that I annoy her...
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Jan 20, 2023, 11:18 AM
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Hahaha, score
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All-TigerNet [5746]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Why did the Indian burn his toupée ?
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Jan 20, 2023, 11:17 AM
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He wanted to keep his wig warm.
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Tiger Spirit [9341]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Why did the Indian burn his toupée ?
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Jan 20, 2023, 11:19 AM
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Nice
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All-Pro [737]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Bored at work Dad jokes
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Jan 20, 2023, 11:43 AM
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What did the horse say after it tripped?
Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!
Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work.
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Tiger Spirit [9341]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Bored at work Dad jokes
4
Jan 20, 2023, 11:47 AM
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Looks like Old McDonald joined the party. Thanks for the laughs.
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Heisman Winner [84988]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Posts: 38705
Joined: 2003
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Ultimate Tiger [33235]
TigerPulse: 100%
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I gave away all my dead batteries today, free of charge
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Jan 20, 2023, 11:57 AM
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This morning I was wondering where the sun was, then it dawned on me.
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Ultimate Clemson Legend [100606]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Posts: 26163
Joined: 2006
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After work, I'm gonna have to show this thread to my 8 yr
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Jan 20, 2023, 12:04 PM
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old. She's gonna think this is gold.
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Tiger Spirit [9341]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: After work, I'm gonna have to show this thread to my 8 yr
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5
Jan 20, 2023, 12:18 PM
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Her eye rolls and head shakes will be golden.
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Offensive Star [325]
TigerPulse: 100%
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What does a mathmatician do when he's constipated?
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Jan 20, 2023, 12:16 PM
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He works it out with a pencil...
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Tiger Spirit [9341]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: What does a mathmatician do when he's constipated?
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Jan 20, 2023, 12:18 PM
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That one’s going to leave a mark.
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Dynasty Maker [3452]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Bored at work Dad jokes
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Jan 20, 2023, 12:21 PM
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Poop jokes are not my favorite, but they are a solid #2.
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TigerNet Elite [69727]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Posts: 90797
Joined: 2001
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What did one hat say to the other?
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Jan 20, 2023, 12:22 PM
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Stay here...I'm going on ahead.
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TigerNet Elite [69727]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Posts: 90797
Joined: 2001
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What do you call it when a snowman throws a tantrum?
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6
Jan 20, 2023, 12:24 PM
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A meltdown.
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Ultimate Clemson Legend [100606]
TigerPulse: 100%
64
Posts: 26163
Joined: 2006
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What do you call a toothless bear? A gummy bear!***
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Jan 20, 2023, 12:25 PM
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Tiger Spirit [9341]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Bored at work Dad jokes
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Jan 20, 2023, 12:50 PM
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Here’s one for @Supd but I don’t know how to do it so he gets a notification.
What did the fish say when he ran into a wall?
D a m !!
Message was edited by: GoTigers2022®
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Ultimate Tiger [33216]
TigerPulse: 100%
56
Posts: 15095
Joined: 2011
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Re: Bored at work Dad jokes
1
Jan 20, 2023, 1:48 PM
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Spud
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Tiger Spirit [9341]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Bored at work Dad jokes
Jan 20, 2023, 2:26 PM
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Thanks for the assist
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Hall of Famer [8765]
TigerPulse: 100%
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What did Tennessee?
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6
Jan 20, 2023, 12:54 PM
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Same thing Arkansas.
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Tiger Spirit [9341]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: What did Tennessee?
6
6
Jan 20, 2023, 12:57 PM
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What did Delaware?
A brand New Jersey!
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Orange Beast [6311]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Saw An Ad That Said...
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Jan 20, 2023, 1:21 PM
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"Radio For Sale. $1 Volume Stuck on Full"
I Thought, "I Can't Turn That Down"
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Ultimate Tiger [33129]
TigerPulse: 100%
56
Posts: 14163
Joined: 2014
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
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Jan 20, 2023, 1:44 PM
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One’s really heavy and the other is a little lighter.
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Tiger Spirit [9341]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
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Jan 20, 2023, 1:51 PM
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That’s my favorite so far!
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Ultimate Tiger [33129]
TigerPulse: 100%
56
Posts: 14163
Joined: 2014
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Re: What’s the difference between a hippo and a zippo?
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Jan 20, 2023, 1:52 PM
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It’s my son’s favorite too. He 32. Go figure.
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Clemson Conqueror [11386]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Posts: 13349
Joined: 2014
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Orange Blooded [2349]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Why did Han Solo not enjoy his steak dinner?
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Jan 20, 2023, 2:22 PM
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It was Chewie.
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Scout Team [84]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Why did Han Solo not enjoy his steak dinner?
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Jan 20, 2023, 2:24 PM
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Here are a couple in honor of the season just passed:
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a baker?
Frosty the dough man!
What’s a snowman’s favorite Mexican food?
A brrrrr-ito!
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Game Changer [2045]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Bored at work Dad jokes
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6
Jan 20, 2023, 2:27 PM
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Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl using the restroom?
Because the p is silent.
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Ultimate Clemson Legend [101427]
TigerPulse: 100%
64
Posts: 29885
Joined: 2005
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What's the difference between "humor" and "odor"?
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5
Jan 20, 2023, 2:28 PM
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Humor is a shift of wit.
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Paw Warrior [4810]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: What's the difference between "humor" and "odor"?
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6
Jan 20, 2023, 2:43 PM
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From 8 year old little Tiger…
Why did the chicken do jumping jacks?
Because he wanted to make scrambled eggs
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Tiger Spirit [9341]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: What's the difference between "humor" and "odor"?
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Jan 20, 2023, 2:46 PM
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Hahaha, that’s awesome! Tell your Tiger great joke.
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Paw Warrior [4810]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: What's the difference between "humor" and "odor"?
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Jan 20, 2023, 2:54 PM
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She said thanks. She’s loving this!
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Tiger Spirit [9341]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: What's the difference between "humor" and "odor"?
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Jan 20, 2023, 4:29 PM
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That makes the entire thread worth doing.
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Paw Warrior [4810]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: What's the difference between "humor" and "odor"?
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Jan 20, 2023, 4:53 PM
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I agree! She’s learned of a few new jokes from this thread to tell her friends at school ha ha!
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Ultimate Tiger [33216]
TigerPulse: 100%
56
Posts: 15095
Joined: 2011
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CU Medallion [18002]
TigerPulse: 100%
52
Posts: 10342
Joined: 2006
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Re: Bored at work Dad jokes
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5
Jan 20, 2023, 4:24 PM
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Tell your kid to say the present tense form of the verb “hoop.”
Then tell them to say the past tense form (“hooped”).
Then tell them to alternate them over and over (“hoop hooped”).
You’re welcome.
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Tiger Spirit [9341]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Bored at work Dad jokes
Jan 20, 2023, 4:30 PM
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Hahaha that’s a good one
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Rival Killer [2868]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Nice. That reminds me of a good trick...
3
Jan 20, 2023, 4:51 PM
[ in reply to Re: Bored at work Dad jokes ] |
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This is fun to pull on kids, or anyone for that matter.
You say: "Spell the word FORT 3 times real fast"
Kid: F.O.R.T... F.O.R.T... F.O.R.T
You: "Say the word FORT 3 times real fast"
Kid: "fort, fort, fort"
--Loop on the above a couple times--
Then ask them, "Quickly... what do you eat your cereal with??"
They will say, "A fork!!"
You just look at them, and they'll keep repeating it, emphasizing the "K"
Then you just say, "That's funny, I eat my cereal with a SPOON"
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Paw Warrior [4810]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Bored at work Dad jokes
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Jan 20, 2023, 4:55 PM
[ in reply to Re: Bored at work Dad jokes ] |
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Thanks for that one! Even better when your kid is missing her two front teeth lol!
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Head Coach [971]
TigerPulse: 100%
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What did the buffalo dad say to his departing male child?
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5
Jan 20, 2023, 4:35 PM
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Bison!
8yo grand loved it!
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Orange Beast [6311]
TigerPulse: 100%
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WHAT DO MONKEYS CALL THIER PRIVATES?
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Jan 20, 2023, 4:46 PM
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ORANGA-THANGS
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Game Changer [1697]
TigerPulse: 95%
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Re: Bored at work Dad jokes
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Jan 20, 2023, 4:40 PM
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this us a great thread. thank you
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CU Medallion [18002]
TigerPulse: 100%
52
Posts: 10342
Joined: 2006
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Re: Bored at work Dad jokes
2
Jan 20, 2023, 5:02 PM
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Have your kids repeat these lines one at a time, then do it again faster:
1. One smart fellow - he felt smart.
2. Two smart fellows – they felt smart.
3. Three smart fellows – they all felt smart together.”
You’re welcome.
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Heisman Winner [84988]
TigerPulse: 100%
62
Posts: 38705
Joined: 2003
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Re: Bored at work Dad jokes
2
Jan 20, 2023, 7:22 PM
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This is an old one, but it will still make the recipient groan once they "get it". Have them say the following, faster and faster, and ask them what it means?
WE TODD IT.
WE TODD IT.
I AM SOFA KING WE TODD IT.
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Playmaker [374]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Bored at work Dad jokes
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Jan 20, 2023, 7:00 PM
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This morning my son said he was cold inside the house, so I told him to go stand in a corner, since it's 90 degrees!
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MVP [505]
TigerPulse: 100%
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A horse walks into a bar
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Jan 20, 2023, 7:29 PM
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Bartender asks “why the long face?”
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Heisman Winner [84988]
TigerPulse: 100%
62
Posts: 38705
Joined: 2003
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What does every one but the lead Mole smell?
Jan 21, 2023, 9:29 PM
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Moleasses.
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Replies: 51
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