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CU Medallion [18768]
TigerPulse: 100%
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It's Friday! Dad Joke time...
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Feb 21, 2025, 7:20 AM
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My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed at a ladder. "That's my step ladder...I never knew my real ladder."
I only seem to get sick on weekdays. Apparently I have a weekend immune system.
Alright...where the heck is Jedi Kermit® ?
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Orange Immortal [65603]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: It's Friday! Dad Joke time...
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Feb 21, 2025, 8:27 AM
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Teacher: "Anyone who thinks he's stupid may stand up!" *Nobody stands up* Teacher: "I'm sure there are some stupid students here!" *Little Johnny stands up* Teacher: "Ohh, Johnny, you think you're stupid?" Little Johnny: "No, I just feel bad that you're standing alone."
Two antennas decided to get married, the ceremony was pretty boring, but the reception was great!
Phil walks into his boss's office one day and says, "Sir, I'll be honest with you. I know the economy isn't great, but I've got three companies after me, and I'd like to ask for a raise, respectfully." After a few minutes of haggling, the boss finally agrees to give him a 5 percent raise, and he happily gets up to leave. "By the way," the boss asks as Phil leaves his office, "which three companies are after you?" Phil replies, "The electric company, water company, and phone company."
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Valley Legend [12577]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: It's Friday! Dad Joke time...
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Feb 21, 2025, 8:36 AM
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What do Asians do during an erection? They vote.
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Paw Master [17718]
TigerPulse: 100%
51
Posts: 11074
Joined: 2008
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True story...
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7
Feb 21, 2025, 9:29 AM
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I had an Asian prof for statistics at Clemson. One Monday in November he announced to the class, "There will be no crass tomollow for tomollow is erection day." He never understood why the "crass" was howling with laughter.
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Valley Legend [12577]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: True story...
1
Feb 21, 2025, 3:06 PM
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That is Hilarious.
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Rival Killer [2905]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Clemson Icon [25741]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: It's Friday! Dad Joke time...
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Feb 21, 2025, 8:41 AM
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What do you call a lonely cheese?
Provolone!
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Top TigerNet [30171]
TigerPulse: 100%
55
Posts: 13644
Joined: 2014
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Re: It's Friday! Dad Joke time...
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Feb 21, 2025, 9:46 AM
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Why do golfers always carry an extra pair of socks?
In case they get a hole in one!
Happy Solid Orange Friday!!!!
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Orange Phenom [14905]
TigerPulse: 100%
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OK, here goes.......................
2
Feb 21, 2025, 10:21 AM
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A little kid was sitting on the street curb with a jar full of turpentine. He'd shake the jar and watch the bubbles go up one side and down the other, just passing time! Suddenly, a Catholic Priest walked up behind him and asked, "What do you have there son"?
The kid stated, "This here's the most powerful liquid in the world, this here's turpentine"!!
The Priest answered, "Oh no, son, the most powerful liquid in the world is Holy Water"! "You can take
a couple drops of Holy Water and rub it on a pregnant Woman's belly, and she'll pass a baby boy"!
The kid responded, "Shucks Preacher, that ain't nothing"! "You can take a couple drops of this here
turpentine, and rub it on a Cat's a$$, he'll pass a motorsickle"!!!!!
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Orange Blooded [2556]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: It's Friday! Dad Joke time...
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Feb 21, 2025, 10:27 AM
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Did you hear about the famous pickle?
He was a big Dill
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CU Guru [1538]
TigerPulse: 91%
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Re: It's Friday! Dad Joke time...
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Feb 21, 2025, 1:52 PM
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Two blonde women were going down I-95 to Disney World when they saw a road sign that said "Disney World left". They started crying and turned around to go home.
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Head Coach [960]
TigerPulse: 85%
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Re: It's Friday! Dad Joke time...
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5
Feb 21, 2025, 2:13 PM
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How much do pirates pay to get their ears pierced?
A buck an ear.
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