Pigskin Prophet: The Hillbillies take aim at the weird chicken edition |
We finally have some real football games to watch, now that the SEC has stopped playing games against the weaker competition like Miss. St. and Vanderbilt and Texas A&M.
Wait, what? Those are SEC schools? Who woulda thunk it? All I know is that I have a very busy week ahead because I have to head to the mountains, helping the Gamecocks transport equipment and Spencer Garter’s ego to Knoxville. Yes, the Gamecocks head to play the Hillbillies in Kneeland Stadium in what should be a good contest for a few quarters. We had meetings to discuss taking the Chicken Choo Choo up the mountain, but they couldn’t figure out how many stop’s we have to make to fill up the lawnmower with gas. And then when we asked the mountain folk about bringing it, they intimated that a man in a coonskin cap and a flintlock rifle would be there to shoot both the CCC and “that weird chicken in a dress.” So here we are. Gamecocks gonna have to rely on Garter’s ego. Will it be enough? FRIDAY LOUISVILLE AT NC STATE The Cardinals haven’t played anyone with much of a pulse, taking the SEC route, but take a step up in competition when they visit the Wolfpack and Laptop Dave Doeren. Doeren and his group probably should have lost at Virginia last week, but Tony Elliott’s players decided to leave their brains in the dorms and made too many costly mistakes at inopportune times. The Cards have more speed than the Cavs, and the defense is just good enough to keep old Pack QB Brennan Armstrong, erratic on his best days, in check. LOUISVILLE 31, LAPTOPS 23 UTAH AT OREGON ST. The Utes (remember them, they were on trial in My Cousin Vinny) travel to play DJ Uiagalelei and a bunch of hungry Beavers in a PAC-2 showdown. Oregon St. rallied last week but still lost a close one to Washington St. The Utes are rolling right along with wins over Baylor and Florida (even though the SEC doesn’t count as a big win, right?). Vegas says that the dudes with the big teeth are favored, but the kids from My Cousin Vinny have more speed. In a PAC-2 thriller, its…….UTES 37, BEAVERS 33 SATURDAY CLEMSON AT SYRACUSE When the dome was named after an air conditioning company, it didn’t have air. Now it’s named after a wireless company and has A/C, but I guess no signal? Is that the way it works? The dome has been an interesting place to play for the Tigers because of its size – imagine putting a roof over Byrnes – and the fact that a bunch of dudes with gold chains who drive tow trucks and wearing Yankee hats are screaming things no one understands. The Orange have played a very SEC-like schedule to date, and the Tigers are the first real them they’ll run into. And like always, it will begin their downward spiral. CLEMSON 34, SYRACUSE 23 KANSAS AT TEXAS Check it out. Are the Longhorns finally back? Both teams are 4-0, and Texas knows it can handle the Jayhawks after winning 55-14 in front of several hundred people on the plains a year ago. This stands as one of the fun games to watch on the day, unless you’re watching the hillbillies try to shoot a dress-wearing chicken, and should be fun for a while. TEXAS 41, KANSAS 20 NOTRE DAME AT DUKE What in the name of Lee Corso is happening? Duke is hosting College GameDay? Against the Fighting Irish? This season is whackadoodle. Last week, the Irish played a normal defense and smacked the Ohio State Buckeyes all over the field. And then when the game had to be won, they went into a prevent defense (which only prevents you from winning) and decided to play just 10 men. And lost. The Blue Devils are coached by Mike Elko, who had a stint at Notre Dame, and look for another statement win. The Irish will play 11 on defense, however, and win. NOTRE DAME 28, DUKE 20 SOUTH CAROLINA AT TENNESSEE The Palmetto Poultry climb the mountain and crawl into the cabin with the buckskin-clad faithful. The Vols may not be smart, but they have long memories and they remember how South Carolina won last season in Columbia. Losing to that bunch is embarrassing at any time, and they won't want to see a repeat. The chickens don’t have much of a running game – they have a former discus thrower playing running back and a second baseman at tight end or some such nonsense – but they can throw it all over the yard. So can Tennessee, and the chickens aren’t very good at defense. TENNESSEE 40, SOUTH CAROLINA 22
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