Pigskin Prophet: Move the Mayo Edition |
The Pigskin Prophet is back after a week off, after moving mayo to Birmingham.
Yes, the Prophet was on hiatus last week. The University of South Carolina called and asked if I would take the trucks and make a couple of runs for them. Hey, Christmas is around the corner, so I said yes. It turns out that they are fairly certain they will once again spend the holidays in Birmingham, otherwise known as the South Carolina Memorial Bowl Game. Gamecock head coach Shane Beamer was told that the Gamecocks have only been to 11 bowl games in their history and nine of those are in Birmingham, so he asked that a permanent office be set up there. Now, that is Nick Saban territory, but we managed to get it done – there is now a portable sitting in the parking lot of a Wal-Mart. But that wasn’t all – he had us run to Mauldin, SC, to the Duke’s Mayo plant and buy pallets of Duke’s Mayo. Turns out, he likes getting doused with the stuff. He has asked for it at home, but we can talk about that another time. So I moved portables and pallets of mayo to Birmingham. It’s all ready for you, boys. Enjoy. THURSDAY VIRGINIA AT GEORGIA TECH Tony Elliott’s swashbuckling crew hasn’t found it easy this season. There have been issues on offense and issues on defense. But when the schedules came out, this was one game where you circle it as a win. Old Waffle House himself, Geoff Collins, isn’t much of a head coach, and this looked like a sure thing. But Collins is now at home, sitting on his fat buyout, and having a Waffle House built in his basement. That means Brent Key is now the head coach, and he has the Jackets playing well. Elliott and his swordsmen will have to wait another week for a win. GEORGIA TECH 27, VIRGINIA 20 SATURDAY SYRACUSE AT CLEMSON A high noon tilt in Death Valley awaits the Clemson fans who get taped up and have a biscuit. The Orange are undefeated, but they’ve only played one road game, and that was at the Beulah Land Baptist Church playground against Sister Sadie Dinkins Sunday School class. They won, of course, because Sister Vickie McKee was on the shelf with a hip pointer. This week is a little different – the Orange leave the comfy environs of their little high school field and enter the world of big boy football. It will be loud, and while the Orange have some good pieces, they don’t have an entire roster of good pieces. Clemson has had its issues, but you can’t overcome a crowd full of biscuits, amped up on sweet tea. CLEMSON 34, SYRACUSE 20 DUKE AT MIAMI I got nothin’. And outside of a few guys named Vinny, I am not sure anyone cares. MIAMI 33, DUKE 27 UNLV AT NOTRE DAME Somebody better get Rudy out of retirement, cause South Bend will get torched if the Irish lose to this ragtag bunch. NOTRE DAME 38, REBS 10 OLE MISS AT LSU Lane Kiffin takes his cocktails to the land of Cajuns and fake accents from the head coach. The cocktails haven’t had a tough road test to date but will run into a surly bunch of hard to understand folks down in Red Stick country. The Rebels aren’t airing it out as much as in the past, and they are moving the chains via the ground. LSU does some things well, some things not so well. This will be a high-scoring affair for much of the game, but Brian Kelly will get outcoached by Kiffin down the stretch. He always does. OLE MISS 34, LSU 27 TEXAS A&M AT SOUTH CAROLINA Angry little Jimbo takes his Aggies into Columbia, hoping to avoid a season-killing loss. The Aggies play low-scoring, close games, and this one won’t be any different. The Gamecocks went on the road and beat Kentucky a few weeks ago, but that isn’t saying much, cause I think TCU would beat Kentucky by 30. This one will be close from start to finish, sphincters everywhere will tighten, and Spencer Rattler will rise to the occasion and throw one of his patented interceptions to lose it. AGGIES 23, GAMECOCKS 20 MISS. ST. AT ALABAMA Mike Leach watched Tennessee beat Alabama last week and threw all his pirate gear out the door in anger. What he didn’t need was an angry bunch of elephants and little Nicky waiting on him this week. The Bulldogs have been playing well this season and need a win here to keep the momentum going. It won’t happen. Not by a long shot. ALABAMA 38, MISS ST. 23 UCLA AT OREGON This promises to be one of the more entertaining games of the day as Chip Kelly returns to Eugene. The Ducks have found their wings after getting blasted by Georgia to open the season, and Kelly has the Bruins back in a title hunt. This will be like the PAC-12 games we are used to seeing with a lot of back-and-forth scoring and body blows. But Chip knows a thing or two about winning games like this, this season, and the Ducks are swatted out of the sky by some angry bears. UCLA 40, OREGON 35 KANSAS ST. AT TCU This is another fun one. These are the last two unbeatens in Big 12 conference play, and the Wildcats are coming off a bye. But the horny toads are playing at a different level right now, and they have the quarterback and wide receivers to send the Cats limping back into Kansas. TCU 37, KANSAS ST. 28
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