Pigskin Prophet: Let's get that chain crew some timely hot dogs edition |
Okay, let’s face it, it was a rough week for football in the Palmetto St. Unless you’re Furman. Furman is good. But hopefully a shipment of hot dogs will help right the proverbial ship.
The two flagship programs of the state – Clemson and South Carolina – looked overwhelmed in losses to two basketball schools. And, considering the Gamecocks are a women’s basketball school, we can allow it. But Clemson? Losing to a school with no indoor plumbing, a visitor’s locker room on the other side of the campus, and that gets the fans a little upset. But living in Columbia, I have to take care of the hometown school first. In case you missed it, that little Beamer feller is the head coach of the Gamecocks, and he gets a little petulant and throws fits from time to time. Or all the time. Hard to tell when someone is consistently smarmy and petulant. But he went into halftime of the UNC game and called his daddy, who told him to run an onside kick to start the second half. He was so excited he ran out of the bathroom without his pants, and when the coaches caught him and tried to help him dress, he was in a tizzy about the onside kick. There was a problem. The chain crew was busy eating hot dogs. The hot dogs were late coming down at the half, and they were hungry, and they were eating those dogs while the little feller jumped and screamed and called his daddy and threw a temper tantrum. Of course, the onside kick worked anyway. But the little feller was incensed after the game, and continued to fume, so my job this week is to grill hot dogs on the sideline. I will feed the chain crew all game so things can happen on time. And, if you remember last year’s drama, at halftime I am supposed to keep all of the school’s female athletes off the field so he doesn’t have to wait to throw another fit. Now, onto some picks. SATURDAY VANDERBILT AT WAKE FOREST Hang on, can’t write this one quite yet. Trying to find someone who cares. WAKE FOREST 27, VANDERBILT 20 NOTRE DAME AT NC STATE The Irish go back on the road to Laptop Dave Doeren’s wolf den, and they will have a little tougher test than they’ve had the first two weeks. The Leprechauns have a 23-year starter at quarterback and a physical group up front. The pups have an old quarterback, too, but he doesn’t match up to the guy that beat YA Tittle 60 years ago in a rec league game. NOTRE DAME 27, NC STATE 17 TEXAS A&M AT MIAMI Let’s face it, these are two most overrated programs every year. Every year they are back. Every year they are ranked. Every year they are the darkhorse to win it all. So let’s call this one what it is, the Overrated Bowl, brought to you by the good folks at It Just Means More. I guess someone has to win, and the winner will be crowned as the next big thing, and that will be…..TEXAS A&M 24, MIAMI 20 CHARLESTON SOUTHERN AT CLEMSON Dabo Swinney’s group lost by three touchdowns at Duke on Monday, and now have a quick turnaround. That’s a good thing. Don’t dwell on that loss to the Fightin’ Kryzezewskis. Charleston Southern is the perfect sacrificial lamb to get the boys back on track. CLEMSON 60, SOUTHERN 13 FURMAN AT SOUTH CAROLINA I’m not saying the Purple Paladins will win, but this is a 10-win team from a year ago that looked pretty good in last week’s win over Tennessee Tech. The Gamecocks? Issues at offensive line. At running back. At linebacker. It was …not good. But Spencer Rattler was pretty good, and they have a wide receiver or two that looks like they want to play. Furman won’t allow many rushing yards, but Rattler will make enough plays through the air to pick up the win. And there will be hot dogs. Plenty of hot dogs. And fits. HOT DOGS 34, PALADINS 14 TEXAS AT ALABAMA Let’s face it. There aren’t many good games this week. It’s the second week of the season and teams are playing the payout schools in good order. But not these two. This future SEC matchup features Texas head coach Steve Sarkisian, whose career was resurrected by Alabama head coach Nick Saban. The deal here is that Alabama is going to run the football and try to play physical football while Texas wants to get their speed out on the edge. This one will be a good one, and a good way to end a hot Saturday. But Bama is still Bama. TIDE 27, TEXAS 20
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