Who goes to the mailbox,
armed with stamps and facts,
waves his hand and presto!
stops recruits right in their tracks?

The Packetman.
The Packetman can.

Who can find a player,
thought to be a lock,
show him just how much life sucks
when you become a ####?

The Packetman.
The Packetman can.
The Packet man can, cause he's armed with information
that don't look too good.

The Packetman takes USC's mistakes
Show just what the school is lackin',
sends a would-be player packin'.
Now they're stealing kids from Akron...

Who can take a 4-star,
Make him see the light,
Go to schools where keying cars
is not an athlete's right?

The Packetman.
The Packetman can.....