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All-Conference [401]
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This needs to be on the Main Board
Aug 17, 2008, 12:21 PM
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One of the reasons I love 'Bama. (Frank, Danny and Dabo are some others)
Joe Medley: Stallings has 'no regrets' about son
08-15-2008
COLDWATER --- Gene Stallings arrived dutifully at Word Alive Church on Thursday. His drawn face and crackling voice betrayed fatigue, but he seemed up for his first public appearance since his son died nearly two weeks ago.
The former Alabama football who led the Crimson Tide to its last national championship in 1992 greeted his guide for the night's Circle of Champions fund-raiser, then he asked for a piece of paper and a few quiet minutes in an office.
Then he met with a reporter and shared a keen insight for all parents, let alone those of children with disabilities.
"Raise your children where, if something happens, there are no regrets," he said. "You've spent the time. You've shared experiences. You've done everything you possibly could to that point.
"Many of us will say, 'If I could go back and do it over.' I have no regrets about Johnny."
That's not a bad place for a father so close to losing the son he so adored.
John Mark Stallings, a beloved figure to those close to Alabama athletics and fans alike, died on Aug. 2 after living 46 years of a life to be envied in some ways.
Down syndrome and congenital heart condition or no, he had 46 years with two parents and four sisters who, by all accounts, made him feel their love and unqualified pride.
His dad's coaching success meant that John Mark got to be around neat stuff. He rode into Alabama practices on his golf cart looking for his "favorite pop" and hung out with an extended family of more than a hundred coaches, players and support personnel.
He was there on the team bus, ready to make all feel better after a bad game and great after a good one.
The players knew his name, and he an amazing gift for remembering their names.
He had a greater gift for making others feel better, which he did for his dad very near the time of his death. The two were lying on a bed, John Mark's blood-oxygen level in the 50s ... well below the nominal 90s ... and his dad asked how he felt.
"He'd just say, 'I'm fine,'" Stallings said. "I don't think I'll ever complain again. I mean, he wasn't fine. It's just like you being at 25,000 feet on a mountain and trying to run up steps. You'd just have no oxygen. You couldn't do it.
"He lived like that for a long time."
John Mark lived much better for much longer, and his sunny disposition helped his dad come back from a very low point.
It was June 11, 1962 when Stallings and his wife Ruth Ann heard a doctor utter "Mongoloid" to describe their newborn son. The word hit with devastating force, enough to land the tough coach on the floor, unconscious.
Fast-forward some years, and one sees the frequent visions of Stallings and his son walking off the practice field together, hand-in-hand and smiling.
"I prayed to God that he would change Johnny, and he changed me," Stallings said. "... I just can't tell you how much I loved the child. I love all my children, but he needed me a little bit more than the others did.
"Every day, he'd tell me, 'You know who my favorite pop is?' I said, 'in the whole world?' He said, 'the whole world.' I said, 'Who's that?' And he said, 'You.' I said, 'You know who my favorite boy is in the whole world?' He'd say, 'who?' I'd say, 'It's you.'
"We said that probably every day, so he brought a lot of joy to me. Hopefully, I brought some joy to him."
Stallings certainly brought inclusion to John Mark. Stallings' fame helped shine light on John Mark, who in turn became the most famous Stallings in circles like Tuscaloosa's Rise School for children born with disabilities.
Several members of the Alabama athletics family stepped forward last week to offer condolences and their favorite John Mark stories. Current head coach Nick Saban and his wife Terry flew to Paris, Texas, for visitation.
As for Gene Stallings, the grieving process goes on. His appearance here Thursday was all about the cause and honoring a commitment, though he admits it would have been tough had it come a week earlier.
"I don't feel bad for Johnny; I know where he is," he said. "I feel bad for me."
He said he'd feel a lot worse had he and John Mark not lived their time together so well.
"If I had a lot of regrets and said I wished I'd done this and that, I would really be low right now," Stallings said. "But I don't, and I think that those of us who raise children and take on the responsibility of children, we never know when something is going to happen. It may be a car wreck. You never know.
"I just don't have any regrets."
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Orange Blooded [2552]
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I finished "another season" by stallings recently
Aug 17, 2008, 12:54 PM
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top 5 book, truly an inspiring story on dealing with the hand you are dealt and thriving. the book moved me to tears on several occasions and really put things in perspective. the father/son relationship that these guys had was awesome. thanks for posting the link, i have been thinking about coach stallings and wondering how the family was doing. i hoope one day i can say "i have no regrets". http://www.amazon.com/Another-Season-Gene-Stallings/dp/0767902556
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Legend [18135]
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As the parent of a 23-yr-old son with CP, that really
Aug 17, 2008, 1:01 PM
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touches my heart. Thanks for posting.
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All-Conference [401]
TigerPulse: 93%
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Joined: 11/30/98
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Re: As the parent of a 23-yr-old son with CP, that really
Aug 17, 2008, 2:29 PM
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I really wish I could put a thumbs up on your post about 99 times.
Since I can't, I just hope you get as much time or more with your son. And when you and your son run into Dabo, ask about John Mark. He knows JM well and will more than likely love your son just as well.
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Replies: 3
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