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Replies: 10
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Ultimate Tiger [34419]
TigerPulse: 100%
56
Posts: 10745
Joined: 2014
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Yesterday flopped...will Monday bring any 'Dad Jokes'?
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Jul 21, 2025, 8:14 AM
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S L O W...it's that time of year! Yet, Monday still beckons...like a siren calling you through the fog to be greeted by rocks you can't see!
Jumping right in!
A gynecologist, tired and burned out by malpractice insurance, volumes of paperwork and HMO bureaucracy...decided upon a career change...yet still wanted to make use of his skilled hands. His new path: a mechanic.
Enrolling in a local technical college, he threw himself into attending every class, taking copious notes, practiced techniques...wholly determined to learn all he could about engines, parts and repairs.
He doubled down on his studies and practice as the date of his practical exam approached and completed the exam with focus and precision. Weeks later his test results: 150%!
Confused, he contacted the instructor. "Not to sound ungrateful, but my grade must be a mistake", he said. The instructor assured him it was no mistake; all was an honest and deliberate score. "You disassembled the engine flawlessly...that was 50%," explained the instructor. "You reassembled perfectly...another 50%...it was clean, correct...expertly handled. But, that's not what amazed me."
After a long pause, he continued..."The extra 50% was because you did the ENTIRE procedure...start to finish...through the muffler. I've done this a long time and THAT, I've never seen!"
May this day set the tone for a remarkable week! Stay safe and cool out there, Tiger Nation!
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All-Time Great [96821]
TigerPulse: 100%
63
Posts: 11216
Joined: 2020
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Re: Yesterday flopped...will Monday bring any 'Dad Jokes'?
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Jul 21, 2025, 8:20 AM
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Paw Warrior [5007]
TigerPulse: 100%
37
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Re: Yesterday flopped...will Monday bring any 'Dad Jokes'?
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Jul 21, 2025, 8:22 AM
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What did the cannibal choose as his last meal? Five Guys. :0)
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Oculus Spirit [40204]
TigerPulse: 100%
57
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Do electricians listen to AC/DC or something more current?
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Jul 21, 2025, 8:31 AM
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My friend and his wife were doing some remodeling in their house. I said I didn’t realize y’all were carpenters. They said “We’ve only just begun, but we don’t do much on rainy days and Mondays. When we get done, we’ll be on top of the world.”
I got a new deodorant stick today. The instructions said: Remove cap and push up bottom. I can barely walk, but when I fart, the room smells lovely. But then my Secret is out.
The mechanic asked when was the last time I rotated my tires. I said, “On the way here.” That’s how eye roll. Is a mechanic an auto-correct?
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Clemson Sports Icon [59893]
TigerPulse: 100%
59
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Re: Yesterday flopped...will Monday bring any 'Dad Jokes'?
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Jul 21, 2025, 8:32 AM
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A guy is interviewing for a job opening. He is really excited about this job possibility.
The interviewer asks him, “What would you consider to be your biggest weakness?”
The guy replies, “Honesty. I really don’t know how to be anything other than completely honest with everyone.”
The interviewer looks puzzled. “I asked for your biggest weakness,” he said. “I don’t think honesty is a weakness. I think it is a strength.”
“I really couldn’t care less what you think about it,” the guy replies. “And, I wish you would stop wasting my time and just offer me the job already. Oh, and don’t even get me started about that picture of your family on your desk.”
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Ultimate Tiger [34466]
TigerPulse: 100%
56
Posts: 17076
Joined: 2015
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What do dentists call their x-rays?..
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Jul 21, 2025, 9:24 AM
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Tooth pics...
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Ultimate Clemson Legend [109444]
TigerPulse: 100%
64
Posts: 27129
Joined: 2006
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Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!***
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Jul 21, 2025, 9:28 AM
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CU Guru [1596]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Yesterday flopped...will Monday bring any 'Dad Jokes'?
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Jul 21, 2025, 12:01 PM
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Does refusing to go to the gym count as resistance training?
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Tiger Titan [46633]
TigerPulse: 100%
58
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Re: Yesterday flopped...will Monday bring any 'Dad Jokes'?
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Jul 21, 2025, 1:43 PM
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Here's a dad joke for you.
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CU Medallion [20635]
TigerPulse: 100%
52
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Re: Yesterday flopped...will Monday bring any 'Dad Jokes'?
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Jul 21, 2025, 2:40 PM
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My brothers Covid test came back as a 50. Also, he got the results back from his IQ test and it said positive.
My grief counselor died the other day. He was so good I don’t even care.
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Rival Killer [3049]
TigerPulse: 100%
33
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Re: Yesterday flopped...will Monday bring any 'Dad Jokes'?
Jul 21, 2025, 10:06 PM
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file:///var/mobile/Library/SMS/Attachments/34/04/38DF659B-44CA-4713-BE00-21696B898B46/IMG_5451.png
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