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Replies: 23
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All-In [34486]
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Why I believe I could beat a bear in a fight
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Apr 19, 2023, 4:36 PM
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First, I am going to set some ground rules.
* Neither I, nor the bear have access to advanced weaponry (knives, guns, bear spray, human spray, etc)
* Specifically a female black bear.
* I do not need to kill the bear, only fight back enough to discourage it from fighting.
* Both the bear and I get to listen to hype songs before the fight.
The stats: (All my stats I found from bearbiology.org - I trust they are accurate but I apologize if they are not.)
* Female black bears weigh between 90 to 180lbs. For sake of argument this bear will weigh 180lbs.
* Female black bears are between 4ft and 6.25ft tall, when standing on back legs. For sake of argument this bear will be 6ft on its back legs.
* I weigh 190lbs, 5’11, am well built, and am quite used to tossing around objects weighing much more than 180lbs. I’ve also played contact sports my entire life and box.
* I have that dawg in me.
The fight:
In a boxing match, the bear wins as it is much stronger. I would also be unable to run away as it is much faster. So neither of these are viable options. Thus I only see two options in which I emerge the victor.
The first way would be for me to choke the bear out. I would need to avoid its mouth and paws, but if I was able to get behind it due to its poor eyesight, I genuinely do believe I am strong enough to choke it out - 180lbs isn’t that much, so i’m certain that its neck circumference and strength of muscles would not be too much for me to suffocate with my arms.
The second way would be for me to blind it. In this scenario I would be fully prepared to sacrifice an arm, and while the bear is attacking one arm with its teeth, I would use a stick or fingers with my other arm to try to blind it. I am aware that bears have small eyes, however in a close vicinity (with one arm in its mouth) I believe I would be able to hit my target.
TL/DR : I could beat a female black bear in a fight by blinding it or choking it out.
EDIT: I have been informed that bears do in fact have good eyesight.
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All-In [36450]
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^^^Stronger than the average American male***
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Apr 19, 2023, 4:42 PM
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Lot o points [155945]
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"I box"
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Apr 19, 2023, 4:45 PM
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All-In [34486]
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Well said***
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Apr 19, 2023, 4:48 PM
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All-In [34486]
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Re: Well said***
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Apr 19, 2023, 7:44 PM
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I was browsing this thread on my phone earlier and now see the gif. That's funny because when it comes to throwing a right jab with weight on front foot, this is not that far off.
Not showing on desktop for some reason
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Legend [17918]
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Re: "X Box"
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Apr 20, 2023, 7:43 AM
[ in reply to "I box" ] |
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most likely
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All-In [34486]
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You can do both.
Apr 20, 2023, 8:53 AM
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Also, I'll have you know that the Xbox Series X is a multifaceted home entertainment center and not just a kiddie gaming console.
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CU Medallion [64837]
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How do you make fruit punch?
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Apr 20, 2023, 7:46 AM
[ in reply to "I box" ] |
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give stubborn_tiger® boxing lessons.
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All-In [42907]
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The bear would be naked. Would you also be naked
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Apr 19, 2023, 4:46 PM
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and if so does that change any of your calculus?
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All-In [34486]
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I was thinking of being shirtless with a pair of
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Apr 19, 2023, 4:59 PM
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jean shorts on. Leather belt. And some Merrell boots with wool socks
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CU Medallion [66085]
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Heisman Winner [105622]
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something something angle of dangle***
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Apr 20, 2023, 7:09 AM
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All-In [27149]
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Time for a lunge field trip to Asheville.
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Apr 19, 2023, 5:02 PM
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In between bear fights we could get some good beer and ladybois.
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Orange Blooded [4095]
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Re: Why I believe I could beat a bear in a fight
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Apr 19, 2023, 5:16 PM
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You can't argue with logic like this.
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All-TigerNet [13360]
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Awesome stuff here Stubb
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Apr 19, 2023, 7:40 PM
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But I can’t stop imagining you trying to choke a bear out and it looks more like a rodeo!
Also, does the bear by chance study martial arts?
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All-In [34486]
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I think if I could grip my feet ahold to a small tree or roo
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Apr 19, 2023, 7:45 PM
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t or something and then lower my center of gravity by going to my knees, and then arching my back, I could maintain enough leverage to make the bear my bittch
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All-In [29874]
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Re: Why I believe I could beat a bear in a fight
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Apr 19, 2023, 8:04 PM
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This is EXACTLY why I come to the lunge. Well, and poo stories.
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All-In [34486]
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sadly, it's copy pasta. but it's copy pasta that reflects
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Apr 19, 2023, 8:05 PM
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exactly how I feel
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Heisman Winner [135967]
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No point in reinventing Shakespeare
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Apr 19, 2023, 8:24 PM
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If it gets the point across
BTW bears can uproot trees with their foreheads using their neck muscles
Can you uproot a tree?
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All-In [34486]
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I think that's propaganda perpetuated by big bear to make
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Apr 19, 2023, 8:28 PM
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us fear them and reduce their competition for important food sources.
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All-In [45784]
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That batch gonna eat your
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Apr 20, 2023, 4:11 AM
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####.
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Hall of Famer [24098]
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Re: That batch gonna eat your
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Apr 20, 2023, 4:43 AM
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True story
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All-In [31518]
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Re: Why I believe I could beat a bear in a fight
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Apr 20, 2023, 6:26 AM
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Black bears are just big raccoons, you got this. One caveat though, if mama bear has cubs around you might be F’d, she’ll fight with a rage hotter than 1000 suns.
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All-TigerNet [10157]
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Re: Why I believe I could beat a bear in a fight
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Apr 20, 2023, 9:32 AM
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Maybe I missed the date and time for this event, but when will this championship fight be on ACCN?
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