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TigerNet throwback from August 31, 2005
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TigerNet throwback from August 31, 2005


Oct 13, 2015, 5:17 PM

"How to Impress a Gamecock Woman" was written during the euphoria of Spurrier's arrival in Columbia. The Chickens have had a good run under OBC, but we've now come full circle!

HOW TO IMPRESS A GAMECOCK WOMAN

--Wear a fishing hat with the lid cut out...she'll think you're fashionable.

--Wear those new spur bracelets...she'll think you're trendy.

--Wear a shirt that reads, "You Can't Beat Our #####"...she'll think you're sexy.

--Feed her a tailgate supper out of the trunk of your car amidst old warehouses and weed-infested lots...she'll think you're romantic.

--Tell her this is the dawn of a new era...she'll think you have a sense of humor.

--Explain how Steve Spurrier is the Second Coming...she'll think you're a man of faith.

--Tell her this is the year USC whips Clemson in football...she'll think you're a dreamer.

--Yell vulgarities and make obscene gestures at the other team from the safety of your seats...she'll think you're brave.

--Scream at the officials about how unfair they are to the Gamecocks...she'll think you are seeking justice.

--Weep as USC falls farther and farther behind...she'll think you're sensitive.

--And after you've done all you can to impress her, pop the big question: "You wanna leave at halftime?"...she thought you'd never ask.

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