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Auburn Week Limericks
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Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 5, 2017, 1:26 PM

"Our SEC D is so fly!
We got that new ex-Baylor guy!"
Oh, Auburn, that's cute.
Go strap up your suit -
We'll choke out your War Eagle cry.

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 5, 2017, 2:08 PM

We breakout our new offensive concauction

a big part being the old school option

Got a brand new crew

Gotta do something new

Cause Kelly Bryant is not Deshaun Watson

??????????

Go Clemson Tigers! ??????

?????

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 5, 2017, 3:59 PM

Couple things:

1 - What is a "concauction?"
2 - We don't run the "old school option"

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 5, 2017, 11:54 PM

> Couple things:
>
> 1 - What is a "concauction?"

concoction**

> 2 - We don't run the "old school option"

The old school option is part of the new concoction that we will be breaking out vs Auburn. We have ran it in the past with Tajh & Deshaun, but I think we use it a lot more with Kelly Bryant at Quarterback & run reverses & option passes off of it.

Thanks for asking. Sorry for the confusion

It's gonna be MURDER with KB2 & Feaster

jmo

Go Clemson Tigers!

???

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 6, 2017, 9:46 PM

Dang you tell'em coot

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 5, 2017, 2:28 PM

Next up the dehydrated kitties
For whom Clemson will show no pity.
Passing it through the air,
Rushing without a care
I hope we score in the fitties!

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 5, 2017, 3:01 PM

When Wilkins and Lawrence get busy,
We'll see Mr. Stidham look dizzy.
The wrath they beget
Will certainly set
The SEC-philes in a tizzy.

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 5, 2017, 3:06 PM

There juance was a man from Alabama
His wife would let me ram her
His name was Gus Malzahn
His wife's brain was gone
Just like auburnfan's gramma

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 5, 2017, 7:45 PM

Let's posit a possible theory -
Let's say that our defense gets weary.
Y'all might score a few,
But here's what we'll do -
Hit Renfrow and Cain 'til you're teary.

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 5, 2017, 8:50 PM

There's War Eagle blood in the water;
A Tiger shark's nose says, "What's odder?
The scent of BirdCats
Or, rather, like rats,
How Auburn pays off to stay hotter?"

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 5, 2017, 9:03 PM

I'll see your six points and a half
And raise you six more! What a laugh!
For them to suggest
Their D is the best?
We're all gonna say, "What a gaffe."

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There once were some Tigers from the plains,


Sep 5, 2017, 9:26 PM

Who had big egos but thin blood in their veins.
They came to Clemson all braggin’,
With their tongues all a waggin’
But left here with just bruises and sprains.

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Re: There once were some Tigers from the plains,


Sep 5, 2017, 9:30 PM

Lemme fix your syllabic meter there, Bengal:

The Tigers who hail from the Plains,
With egos, though thin-blooded veins,
To Clemson came braggin',
Their tongues all a-waggin',
But left with just bruises and sprains.


Message was edited by: bdrechs


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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 5, 2017, 9:54 PM

That Stidham is one cocky feller
But this weekend he's gonna turn yeller
When he starts to bleed
He'll beg and he'll plead
"Please, let me go back to Baylor!"

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 5, 2017, 10:08 PM

Auburn, you'd better be wary
Our defense is gonna be scary
Your O-line's no shield
To save your backfield
Your cute little QB we'll bury!

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 5, 2017, 10:10 PM

When Lawrence comes out of his stance,
Ol' Stidham might Coot in his pants!
He'll tremble and quake;
His poise we will shake.
Hey Dex, practice your endzone dance!

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There once was a man from Nantucket***


Sep 5, 2017, 10:18 PM



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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 5, 2017, 10:22 PM

That auburnfan brags and he beams
Their kids are all 5 stars, it seems
He won't understand
'Til the game's out of hand
That Clemson's a true 5 star TEAM!

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 5, 2017, 10:45 PM

It's more than just X's and O's
When Clemson the 'Burn overthrows.
At night in Death Valley
A deafening rally
Will swallow War Birds, beak to toes.

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 5, 2017, 10:51 PM

Ask Coots why they're so broken-hearted;
Why Sooners' great prowess has parted.
A beatdown by us
And subsequent fuss
Hath many a dumpster fire started.

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 5, 2017, 11:25 PM

The SEC tigers think they're so regal
But we all know they're not the real bengals
No doubt they be fake
Ain't even got a lake
Bunch of whirlybirds, not even war #### eagles.

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 6, 2017, 6:59 AM

The Light App is great and all that,
But really the field's where it's at.
Ol' Stidham gets lit up,
And Tiger fans get up
To cheer the superior Cat.

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 6, 2017, 7:53 AM

The wannabe Tigers come in off the plains,
Time and time again, their offense has no gains.
Christian & Big Dex keep putting Stidham on his butt,
And the War Eagles seem to be stuck in a rut.
They leave town with only aches and pains.

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 6, 2017, 8:02 AM

Kids wanted to play in Alabamer
So they could stay out of the slammer
AU they did ride
all full of their pride
Till they faced Dabo and his hammer.

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 6, 2017, 8:26 AM

Hey Plainsmen - don't break out your Charmin.
Your pending defeat Dabo's warmin'.
Reserve your TP
For "@ Missouri" -
Those Tigers won't do as much harmin'.

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 6, 2017, 9:00 AM

The story of Little Gus Horner:
The Bama-Lite legacy mourner.
From Clemson, his thumb
Is gonna go numb
Hitchhiking in shame to Toom's Corner.

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Auburn Limerick


Sep 6, 2017, 9:42 AM

I don't do Limericks.
Auburn sucks.
Clemson 31 - Auburn 17

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TIGER BALLS.


Re: Auburn Limerick


Sep 6, 2017, 9:26 PM

At lim'ricks I'm only so so
But Auburn just sucks, we all know
They'll score seventeen
But get their clocks cleaned
And lose by two scores to Dabo!

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 6, 2017, 10:20 AM

The forming, the rhyming, the rhythm -
The limericks? Man, I can sure spit em.
But I cannot do
What Wilkins and crew
Are gonna unleash on young Stidham.

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good one***


Sep 6, 2017, 10:37 AM



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Best Is The Standard


Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 6, 2017, 9:40 PM [ in reply to Re: Auburn Week Limericks ]

Old Eminem couldn't do better
You've got your rhymes down to the letter
'Bout Wilkins and crew
You speaketh it true
The havoc they'll wreak when unfettered

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 6, 2017, 12:16 PM

Malzahn and his wife - quite a pair!
One's got some "straight crazy" to spare.
The other one's nice -
Some sugar, some spice,
But she has the lengthier hair.

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 6, 2017, 1:02 PM

There's still a bright future ahead!
Your stronger Big Brother in Red
Won't make it unbeaten,
And that fact should sweeten
The bitter pill you're gon' be fed.

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 6, 2017, 1:40 PM

Although we have questions on O,
The line play's more skilled than befo'.
This means that no matter
Which QB is badder,
Our backs are gon' run up the sco'.

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 6, 2017, 9:33 PM

Our questions on O have been solved
The defense is always involved
When all's done and said
We'll come out ahead
Once the outcome is resolved.

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 6, 2017, 9:51 PM

Correction to last line:

*when clearly the outcome's resolved!

Sorry, must have ministroked with the cadence on the first version of that last line.

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I hate it when that happens.***


Sep 7, 2017, 8:48 AM



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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 7, 2017, 8:54 AM [ in reply to Re: Auburn Week Limericks ]

Clear up that cardiovascular system, brotha.



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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 6, 2017, 2:23 PM

Pull any and all off suspension.
Go strap your jocks tight for retention.
Bring out your big guns.
The champs? We're the ones.
We'll throat-punch your boys, no pretension.

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 6, 2017, 4:25 PM

The thing about Auburn's War Eagles
Is they like to bypass what's legal.
Despite sneaky cheatin',
They still will get beaten.
They'll blame it on Irma and seagulls.

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 6, 2017, 8:30 PM

It's more than just home field advantage.
Death Valley at dark's hard to manage
When, in its own right,
It roars in the night
Exceeding capacity fannage.

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 6, 2017, 8:45 PM

While, Malzahn, you've got fine recruits,
Your labor has yielded few fruits.
I hate to be terse
But it's gonna get worse
Because soon you'll be coaching the coots!

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 6, 2017, 9:04 PM

Quite soon we will face men of Steele
But they don't have the true temper seal
When Steele melts like butter
We'll cut through the clutter
Only Venable men are for real!

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 6, 2017, 10:19 PM

According to Finebaum and others,
Our offense will cry for their mothers!
Big, strong, scary Auburn
Has nary a gall-durn
Fat chance as its hopes Clemson smothers.

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 7, 2017, 12:48 AM

Yep, Finebaum he hasn't a clue,
An idiot hack through and through.
Just what will it take
To show we're not fake?
P'raps Auburn's destruction will do!

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 7, 2017, 7:12 AM

Cam Newton's had so much to choose -
"Which stealing excuse should I use?"
But this one's in stone;
The clemency's gone.
Your boys from the Plains will just lose.

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 7, 2017, 8:22 AM

Auburn comes to town, trying to morph
Into something more than one of the SEC dwarfs.
We've beaten their best,
Not afraid of the rest.
We'll send them home, full of remorse.

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 7, 2017, 8:39 AM

Looking forward to Auburn coming to town,
They think they can avoid a big beatdown.
We'll be delighted,
And even more excited,
When Big Dex is finished smacking them around.

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 7, 2017, 8:49 AM

You think Pettway's better than Scarb'rough?
Ol' Bo his boys weren't on par, bro.
What Venables draws up
Might shrivel your balls up!
We might see Malzahn smoke a Marlb'ro!

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 7, 2017, 8:56 AM

When those boys from the plains step into the Valley,
Our Tigers will be ready, and shall not dally.
As our play count approaches ninety-nine,
The war eagle starts dragging his behind,
And Dabo leads our Tigers to a grand finale!

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 7, 2017, 8:57 AM

Ol' Dabo said "Bring your own guts!
Don't give me no ifs, ands, or buts!
When we run down the hill,
It's time for the kill.
So get after those kitties and RUTS!"

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 7, 2017, 10:10 AM

The Tigers from the Plains come to play,
But our Cats put on an awesome display!
Our offense rolls,
As the D patrols,
And poor Auburn leaves town full of dismay!

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 7, 2017, 9:59 AM

Like Bob Knight throwing a chair
Guz Malzahn's wife's sure to scare
All women and men
and those without sin
Well, at least she does it with flair

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 7, 2017, 10:01 AM

Christian and Big Dex keep making the plays,
And soon Stidham will be left in a daze.
Sack after sack,
They cut him no slack.
As the hometeam Tigers continue to amaze.

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 7, 2017, 6:13 PM

Tell Gus and his boys to bring boots,
Some salve, and their hats and rainsuits.
The rain stuff's for Irma.
The salve's for the burn-a
From when they get spanked like the Coots.

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 7, 2017, 6:51 PM

So auburnfan thinks it's a toss?
Lay off the insanity sauce!
Can we not be thanked
That Clemson's high ranked?
He'll call it a "quality loss."

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 7, 2017, 9:37 PM

Auburn fans meet Kelly Bryant
Clemson's new quarterback giant
"Watson's not here!"
You'll say with a cheer
'Til Kelly rules you like a tyrant!

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 7, 2017, 10:38 PM

Forgive me if it seems absurd,
But I still don't get why a bird
Gets hailed with their tiger.
Would it not be righter -
A smelly, offensive brown turd?

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 8, 2017, 12:34 AM

So let's say the weather turns sour,
With winds 81 miles an hour.
Will Death Valley's light
Cut off in the night?
No, it runs on Oculus power.

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 8, 2017, 12:57 AM

Christian and Big Dex keep making the plays,
And soon Stidham will be left in a daze.
Sack after sack,
They cut him no slack.
As the hometeam Tigers continue to amaze.

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 8, 2017, 6:53 AM

"Oh, War Eagle, what shall we do?
A mighty big storm is a-brew!
It's wrath, full-employed,
Will see us destroyed!"
Hey guys, there's a hurricane, too...

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 8, 2017, 7:18 AM

The Oculus beckons here, bud.
It cares not for wind, rain, or flood.
It wants fresh opponents -
Strong ones are a bonus.
We'll feed it some War Eagle blood.

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 8, 2017, 8:11 AM

Which Tiger gets tossed by its tail?
The one whose new QB will fail.
The nation will watch it -
J. Stidham will botch it.
The orange and purple prevail.

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 8, 2017, 11:02 AM

So auburnfan thinks there's a chance -
What good fan would not take his stance?
For Auburn, it's futile.
We'll, public and brutal,
Shank down their proverbial pants.

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 8, 2017, 11:51 AM

Ol' Feaster is ready to roll,
And Etienne they won't control.
If Renfrow throws blocks,
They'll get out the box
And blaze past the line at the goal.

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 8, 2017, 12:47 PM

We're giddy as heck in the lead-up.
Can we get this kickoff to speed-up?
Coach Dabo and squad
Are ready, by God,
To see to it Auburn gets beat-up.

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 8, 2017, 3:58 PM

When forces of nature come at us,
We flee so that nothing will splat us.
When Auburn heads south,
Post punch-in-the-mouth,
Will they receive refugee status?

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 8, 2017, 4:15 PM

What I'm real upset about, mostly,
Is Finebaum, all regal and host-ly,
Says he doesn't like us.
Oh no! Won't that psych us??
I'm sure Dabo's lookin' real ghostly.

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 8, 2017, 6:24 PM

So, how will Malzahn protect Stidham
When WIlkins and Dex aim to get him?
All he'll hear's the whistles
Of heat-seeking missles
Before the behemoths come hit him!

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 8, 2017, 6:49 PM

Gus can't stop an or'nge locomotive.
Our defense will kill with one motive:
Lined up for Atlanta,
We'll do what they can't-a,
And leave Auburn wishing they could've.

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There once was a girl from Nantucket


Sep 8, 2017, 6:52 PM

...GO Tigers!

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 9, 2017, 3:18 AM

All's quiet on Clemson-game-eves;
No sounds but the crickets and leaves.
The "Thing in These Hills"
Will roar with such thrills
When Auburn their spankin' receives.

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 9, 2017, 8:25 AM

Well, Tigertown's busy and buzzin',
With fans crowding in by the dozen.
For one to suggest
This scene ain't the best?
That's kinda like kissing your cousin.

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 9, 2017, 3:09 PM

These tailgates today sure are hearty,
But don't for the kickoff be tardy!
The thunderous cheers
Confusing their ears
Will ring in the post-vict'ry party!

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Re: Auburn Week Limericks


Sep 9, 2017, 4:11 PM

When Jackson gets back to Kentucky
He'll realize the Tar Heels were sucky.
Turn on tonight's stuff -
Lavar, they were fluff!
Next week your boys won't be so lucky.

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