Re: Replacing Dabo.no problem

Replacing Dabo.no problem

Re: Replacing Dabo.no problem

TigerCook®

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Here's the job description

Jan 12, 2024, 11:54 AM

**Job Title:** Armchair Quarterback Turned College Football Head Coach

**Job Type:** Full Time (includes weekends, holidays, and any day the internet is working)

**Job Description:**

Ever shouted at your TV screen on a Saturday afternoon and thought, "I could do better than that!"? Well, here's your chance! We're looking for a College Football Head Coach who has never stepped onto a football field but has battled it out in the wild world of online football message boards.

**Responsibilities:**

1. Develop game strategies based on what you've yelled at your TV during games.
2. Ensure student-athletes maintain good grades, or at least know what a book looks like.
3. Coordinate team practices, and by that we mean, figure out how to turn your theoretical knowledge into practical drills.
4. Analyze game performance, and remember, shouting "You were supposed to catch that!" doesn't count.
5. Foster a culture of respect, hard work, and sportsmanship, even if your only experience with this is managing flame wars on message boards.

**Qualifications:**

1. Can type at a speed faster than a quarterback can throw – extensive experience participating in football message boards is a must.
2. Can differentiate between a touchdown and a touchback.
3. Ability to analyze games and player performance, and no, playing fantasy football doesn't count.
4. Strong communication skills, and by that, we mean more than just trash talking.
5. Ability to work well with a diverse group of student-athletes, even the ones who can bench press you.

**Preferred Skills:**

1. Experience moderating football message boards, because if you can handle that, you can handle anything.
2. Familiarity with sports analytics, or at least can pretend you know what they mean.

**Note:** This position does not require traditional coaching experience, but the successful candidate will be expected to demonstrate a high level of pretending to understand the game of football, as well as maintaining ignorance of the academic and athletic success of our student-athletes. And remember, "Because I said so" doesn't always work as a coaching strategy.

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“poor kids are just as bright and just as talented as white kids.”

Re: Replacing Dabo.no problem

Replacing Dabo.no problem

Here's the job description

Re: Here's the job description

The Board of Trustees...

Re: Replacing Dabo.no problem

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