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Replies: 13
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Ring of Honor [21844]
TigerPulse: 100%
53
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'Salty Friday' Dad-isms...
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Apr 11, 2025, 7:59 AM
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Yeah...I'm in a mood today.
I don't (always) think before I speak. I like being just as surprised as everyone by what comes out of my mouth.
My daughter just asked me why she can't just quit school...and I told her it's against the law and I could go to jail for that.
She looked me straight in the eye and said, "I'll visit you!
So...many of us have had to ground one of our children...the 'tough love' routine that gets met with the histrionics of such an impossible to bear punishment. Naturally, the metaphor typically dispensed is along the lines of equating 'home confinement' with imprisonment. Well, the reply to that is:
"Right now, in prison, someone's rear end is being traded for a Little Debbie cake. So, no, being stuck in your house is NOT "just like being in prison!"
Here's to a pleasant day of banter and civil discourse in T-Net land! (Color me skeptical...like purple...you know, that color our brain just makes up)
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TigerNet Elite [71828]
TigerPulse: 100%
61
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Re: 'Salty Friday' Dad-isms...
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Apr 11, 2025, 8:02 AM
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What gets longer when pulled, inserts in a hole, and works best when jerked? A seatbelt.
What did the banana say to the vibrator? "Why are you shaking? She's going to eat me!"
What does an 80-year-old woman taste like? Depends.
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Orange Blooded [2585]
TigerPulse: 100%
32
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Re: OMG, who is tasting an 80 year old woman?***
3
Apr 11, 2025, 9:40 AM
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TigerNet Elite [71828]
TigerPulse: 100%
61
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Re: OMG, who is tasting an 80 year old woman?***
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Apr 11, 2025, 11:01 AM
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A 90 year old man without his dentures?
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Orange Blooded [2585]
TigerPulse: 100%
32
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Re: OMG, who is tasting an 80 year old woman?***
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Apr 11, 2025, 11:08 AM
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Dynasty Maker [3287]
TigerPulse: 100%
34
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Re: 'Salty Friday' Dad-isms...
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Apr 11, 2025, 8:03 AM
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My wife asked if I had seen the dog bowl. I said I didn't know he could.
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Ultimate Tiger [33774]
TigerPulse: 100%
56
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What would bears be without bees? Ears
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Apr 11, 2025, 8:31 AM
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What do you call a motorcycle with a sense of humor? A Yamahaha
How come numb, bomb, tomb, comb, poem, home, some, and dumb all sound different?
If you run at 9pm, you're a night person. If you run at 5am, you're a morning person. If you run at 3am, you're a suspicious person.
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Ultimate Tiger [35144]
TigerPulse: 100%
56
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Re: 'Salty Friday' Dad-isms...
9
9
Apr 11, 2025, 8:55 AM
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What do you call a belt with a watch on it?
A waist of time!
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Ultimate Clemson Legend [100817]
TigerPulse: 100%
64
Posts: 26180
Joined: 2006
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Happy Friday***
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Apr 11, 2025, 9:01 AM
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Ultimate Tiger [33394]
TigerPulse: 100%
56
Posts: 14225
Joined: 2014
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Re: 'Salty Friday' Dad-isms...
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9
Apr 11, 2025, 9:02 AM
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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile?
Robin, get in the car.
What leaves a bigger memory than a passionate kiss?
A stab wound.
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Ring of Honor [21844]
TigerPulse: 100%
53
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For the record,
7
7
Apr 11, 2025, 9:07 AM
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You guys are good! 
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Solid Orange [1371]
TigerPulse: 100%
28
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Re: 'Salty Friday' Dad-isms...
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Apr 11, 2025, 9:27 AM
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Want to hear a joke about paper?
Nevermind - it's tear-able!
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All-In [10412]
TigerPulse: 100%
45
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Re: 'Salty Friday' Dad-isms...
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6
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Apr 11, 2025, 9:39 AM
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My grandma passed away recently. We thought it was a nice, quiet painless death. Then we had an autopsy done. And found out she died in the worst, most horrible way possible - during an autopsy.
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Top TigerNet [31795]
TigerPulse: 100%
55
Posts: 16400
Joined: 2015
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What happens when a frog's car breaks down?..
3
Apr 11, 2025, 2:27 PM
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It gets toad....
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Replies: 13
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