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Hall of Famer [22134]
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Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 8:43 AM
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My son turned 28 today. When he was 22, he had testicular cancer. He beat it and was miraculously blessed with a daughter recently. God has blessed me with him. He has always been a good kid. He doesn’t have any vices.
Now the advice and request part. He is under a lot of pressure. Financially, they struggle. His wife is not our first choice, but it was his and we respect that. He has made small jokes to our other son about suicide. For example, the other night he didn’t go to work and just sat in the car in the garage for 13 hours. Joked he thought about just cutting the car on. He doesn’t show weakness or his feelings, he hides it with a smile. I do not want to say anything to him because he at least communicated that to his brother. Any advice and prayers are appreciated in advance.
Also if you have a nasty comment, be kind enough to just keep it to yourself.
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CU Medallion [72746]
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Sometimes the hardest thing to get yourself to do is also the simplest. That is,
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Jun 5, 2024, 8:47 AM
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just sit down and talk with him. About anything. Offer whatever honest advice you can, without judgement. And hope that eventually, he will open up about what is really bothering him.
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Hall of Famer [22134]
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Re: Sometimes the hardest thing to get yourself to do is also the simplest. That is,
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Jun 5, 2024, 8:48 AM
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I plan on at the end of this month getting some alone time and taking him fishing. Appreciate your advice!
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CU Guru [1096]
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Re: Sometimes the hardest thing to get yourself to do is also the simplest. That is,
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Jun 5, 2024, 9:24 AM
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I wouldn’t wait till the end of the month. Prayers for the both of you.
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Legend [16151]
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All-In [27896]
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Re: Sometimes the hardest thing to get yourself to do is also the simplest. That is,
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Jun 5, 2024, 11:29 AM
[ in reply to Re: Sometimes the hardest thing to get yourself to do is also the simplest. That is, ] |
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I wouldn't wait. Your son needs counseling ASAP, and the good news is, there is plenty of it available. He beat cancer, and he will beat this too. The issues with his wife will also have to be addressed, but in time. Focus on him at this moment. That's my advice. I hope you take it.
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All-TigerNet [13705]
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Re: Sometimes the hardest thing to get yourself to do is also the simplest. That is,
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Jun 5, 2024, 8:03 PM
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Absolutely! If he sat in his car for 13 hours and joked about suicide, he needs help NOW!
No time to waste.
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CU Guru [1029]
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All-TigerNet [13705]
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110%er [6387]
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Pray, pray, and pray again
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Jun 5, 2024, 8:47 AM
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I am saddened to hear this. I do not know you at all, but a struggle like this for a family is not even imagineable unless you live it. The only advice, talk to him, love him, pray to the Lord.
God bless you and your family, prayers!!
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Orange Blooded [3374]
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 8:48 AM
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Has he had any kind of emotional counseling? You may want to call them, or a suicide hotline, and share what you've told us. His counselor won't be able to tell you anything they may have discussed, but should be able to listen and point you in the right direction. Prayers for your family.
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Hall of Famer [22134]
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 8:52 AM
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He doesn’t know that we know. He doesn’t talk to anyone. His wife really puts it all on him. He works 60 to 72 hours a week, he cleans the house, makes the meals and tends to the newborn if he is home. He is mentally stressed and physically worn out.
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All-TigerNet [13705]
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 8:05 PM
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My God! Don't waste another day, please.
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Orange Blooded [2841]
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 9:23 PM
[ in reply to Re: Prayers and advice needed ] |
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Ok I’m responding to you as a woman. WHAT is his wife doing if he’s doing all that? I can see why she’s not your choice. I really feel for him. He should not have to work so hard. I really think you need to speak to him as soon as you can. He may have told his brother in confidence but this is so important that you need to forget about that and talk to him. I know it will be tough for you but it’s so worrisome I know. I would be so nervous not doing anything right now. Good luck to you!
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Team Captain [481]
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 8:50 AM
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Praying for you brother🙏🏻
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CU Guru [1206]
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 8:50 AM
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First of all I just said a prayer for your son, his wife and you and the rest of the family. I would say he should get professional help (if he is willing), I would also suggest looking into support groups for cancer victims as that has helped my wife (gave her the ability to talk with others who went through what she did).
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Hall of Famer [22134]
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 8:52 AM
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Thanks for the prayer and I will suggest that to him
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110%er [8538]
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 8:50 AM
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This is a difficult situation. Wish I had a solution but I have no training or experience in this area. My advice would be to reach out for professional help and create a plan. Prayers for finding the right help
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Oculus Spirit [84243]
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I would talk to him and pray for him. A lot of people have thought
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Jun 5, 2024, 8:51 AM
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about it but from my personal experience those that have not only thought it over but also have devised a plan on what they want to do are the one's that you definitely need to worry about.
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Orange Blooded [3298]
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If he has joked about it, then he probably has already thought about it
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Jun 5, 2024, 8:53 AM
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He needs counseling and needs it asap. You may need to sit him down and discuss it one on one in private.
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CU Guru [1899]
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Re: Prayers for your son and his situation. Is there a church family and pastor
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Jun 5, 2024, 8:54 AM
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he could speak with? Seems he has opened up to his brother so that is a start. Surround him with love and support as best you can. Let him know you are there for whatever he needs. God bless you and your family!!!
Go Tigers!!
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Orange Blooded [3013]
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 8:54 AM
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Love him! Tell him you love him! Show him you love him! Get him some help from Pastor and or Dr.
I will be praying for your son and you!
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Orange Blooded [3310]
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 8:55 AM
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As a father of a 29 year old son this got to me. I will be praying for you and your son. Our mighty God is the Great Healer. I pray God will draw your son near and give him peace that, as Scripture tells us, surpasses all understanding.
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Orange Blooded [3298]
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The late 20's can be very stressful
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Jun 5, 2024, 9:28 AM
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You need money (a lot of it in today's economy).
But you need to save for retirement.
Adulting is in full swing.
Might be starting a family, but the first two things above are almost as important.
That college education didn't prepare you quite for the real world.
This list is long...
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110%er [6148]
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 9:03 AM
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Call 988. It’s the suicide and crisis hotline. Ask for advice and follow up. Don’t delay. May the Good Lord strengthen you both.
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All-In [30741]
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 9:11 AM
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I am praying for your son to seek help and for strength and wisdom from God to guide you.
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110%er [8418]
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Prayers for all involved.
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Jun 5, 2024, 9:15 AM
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Please talk to him. I lost a brother to mental illness and it's devastating.
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Legend [16151]
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Prayers for your family***
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Jun 5, 2024, 9:18 AM
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Freshman [7]
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 9:23 AM
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FleaCircus, first of all as the dad of 2 sons in their 20s my heart goes out to you. You and your family will be in my prayers. It may be very difficult to do but you should probably ask the question. No one wants to but sometimes the shock of admitting someone has been thinking of suicide wakes them up from the fog of darkness, pain, and confusion they are in. We're afraid to ask because we are afraid of an angry response. I'd rather have my loved one angry at me than the alternative. If he answers in the affirmative, then you need to ask if he had a plan. Then help deconstruct the plan. More than anything I'll lift you up in prayer along with others in Tiger Nation. Maybe y'all can go together this weekend to watch the boys whip Florida. Your a good dad. My best to you.
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Orange Blooded [3779]
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 9:23 AM
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Prayers are with you
It is a stressful world for our kids and ourselves
Hot lines
NAMI - South Carolina
(803) 733-9592
Mental Health America of South Carolina
(803) 779-5363
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention - South Carolina Chapter
(803) 552-9318
Talk with him
Hope it all works out
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110%er [7057]
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 9:29 AM
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She is obviously is taking advantage if him, even if it is not on purpose. I guess you would speak with him calmly and nicely and recommend he does the same with her. Maybe you can tell him the obvious, that stress isn't healthy and maybe he can convey that to his wife. Might not do a thing, but maybe somehow she will empathize and step it up some. if not, doesn't sound like there is much else you can do imo. Just don't add any more stress to his life. JMO
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All-TigerNet [12299]
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 9:39 AM
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If your daughter-in-law is a narcissist, your son may be beat down and not even realize it. Try to figure out why he stays with this woman. Is it religious pressure? Family pressure? If not, I would revert back to my first sentence and say his wife is pulling him in and out of so many emotional situations (as a means of control) that he feels he has no recourse.
Prayers for your situation. But find THE problem. You may not be doing your son any favors by showing "respect" for his error.
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All-In [46738]
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Praying for you and your family***
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Jun 5, 2024, 9:45 AM
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Commissioner [933]
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 9:47 AM
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I will be praying for your son and that he will seek the Lord in prayer as well. I pray for both families and that he can find peace. I have no experience with this to give advice other than to love him and be there to listen
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Starter [375]
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 9:54 AM
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Suicide doesn’t kill a man. Suicide kills a family.
Do not sit on this. Do not procrastinate.
Do something now! Anything. Any.little.thing might prevent a tragedy.
I wish I had not worried about it for so long. You do not want to regret hesitating. You could wind up constantly wondering…”could I have done anything more?”
Living a life of sadness, I am.
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110%er [6754]
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 10:10 AM
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I second this. I urge you to sit down and talk with your son ASAP. If he’s having thoughts of suicide, don’t put this off. Let him know how much he is loved by y’all and that his daughter needs him to be there for her throughout her life.
I just had a sibling who had to get out of a very toxic marriage. His wife had him beat down and he felt worthless as a man. She refused to get counseling, so he had to get out of the marriage. I urge your son and his wife to get marital counseling. If she refuses that says a lot. Also, get your son to seek professional help for himself, get him out of the house, and show him how much he has to live for! God clearly gave him another chance at life after beating cancer. He is a child of God and has a purpose!
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MVP [503]
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Orange Blooded [4580]
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Please get him some help if he will accept it.
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Jun 5, 2024, 10:02 AM
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He needs love and more. May God Bless all of you.
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Varsity [218]
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 10:05 AM
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YOU HAVE NO TIME TO WASTE NOR WAIT. Our oldest, of 6, just attempted suicide earlier this year. We took the "let's just wait and see what happens" approach, and I will never ever shake that horrible feeling of such a wrong decision. We were very lucky and blessed that he was unsuccessful, but our new thought process is the minute we see any trouble/issue we act. If he is to the point he's sitting in a car for 13 hours in the garage and joking about suicide, that is a sign of immediate and imminent trouble.
ONE CAN ALWAYS MAKE MORE MONEY, BUT YOU ONLY GET 1 CHANCE TO RAISE YOUR CHILD(REN).
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Orange Blooded [2609]
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Talk to him, give him an outlet
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Jun 5, 2024, 10:11 AM
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Don’t be hush hush, be willing to try therapy and or meds
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CU Medallion [64519]
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As someone who has been there, if he is telling you about
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Jun 5, 2024, 10:15 AM
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committing suicide, he is asking for help. Those who plan on committing suicide typically do not tell anyone. I didn't when I almost did. It is ONLY by the grace of Jesus Christ that I am typing this.
There is NO stigma in seeking counseling advice! Please encourage, encourage, exhort, insist on seeking help. Go with him, if necessary.
I have just offered up a prayer to God the Father for courage for you and intervention for your son. This worldly system is evil and Evil thinks it can win. But, I know the One who has overcome this world. I pray the same for you and your son.
In John 16:33, Jesus told His disciples, " I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
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CU Medallion [59339]
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Dang man! Reading your post has hit me more than any of the others here.
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Jun 6, 2024, 8:17 AM
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Actually have tears flowing as I type this. I guess knowing your parents and realizing how important every child is to their parents, this hits hard. No matter how worthless and lost we might feel at times, we will always be the most important thing in our parent's lives and we need to think about how our loss will affect them. My first thought when that bullet struck the sand by my face in Vietnam was what it would do to my mother if it had hit me, I could never consider voluntarily putting her in that situation. It might take a lot of effort to push forward but giving up is not the answer - even small things in life are worth the effort to push through the tough times. We just need to seek them out.
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Orange Blooded [3606]
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 10:27 AM
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Trusting in God means you talk this over with God and expect Him to guide you. He will if you truly believe. God wants what is best for us according to His will.
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All-In [47699]
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 10:38 AM
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I'm sorry to hear this. My heart breaks for you and your son. Nothing is worse than the not knowing what he's thinking. My prayers are with your son and his family to get the help they need.
He definitely needs to talk to a professional, and then the couple needs that as well. Talk to him and try to get him some counseling ASAP. It will not improve until he talks to someone. He probably feels he's carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.
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CU Medallion [52581]
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 10:38 AM
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🙏
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CU Guru [1372]
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 10:45 AM
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Prayers for your family during this difficult time. I had a sister fail at her attempt. Do not wait intervention now and seek professional help. May God bless you all and give you peace. 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
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110%er [8569]
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 10:46 AM
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God bless you brother. I can only imagine the anxiety you're feeling. I have two sons about that age and I shudder to think if the shoe were on my foot. Like many have mentioned, I believe I would very quickly consult a professional for some advice and then immediately, today, go meet my son to talk about it.
Holding you all in my prayers. The Lord be with you!
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All-Pro [663]
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 10:49 AM
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Keeping your family in prayer.
He is a husband and father. He has much to live for. Remind him best you can that dark or desperate feelings can pass but destroying himself is irreversible.
Sometimes it is best, whether we are depressed and desperate or on top of the world, to remind ourselves "This, too, will pass."
Counseling may help- but consider financial counseling too if that is the problem. If the family is strapped for cash, it may be available through United Way or the like. There may be solutions he has not considered.
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110%er [5616]
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 10:49 AM
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First I am praying for your son and the entire family, including you. That aside, you need to do something now. His statement alone about turning the car on is enough to get him held on a 72 hour hold. I believe your son was asking for help by making the comment to his brother. Get your ducks in a row and intervene. Do not do things behind your son’s back. This is going to be a long journey and he is going to need you with him every step of the way.
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Hall of Famer [22857]
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 10:59 AM
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All of my experience with situations like this is second hand as an HR professional. I think you should call either an EAP if you have one and ask them for advice as to what you should do, or call the suicide hotline and ask.
I agree with other commenters that talking to him directly, asking what you can do to support him and understand where he is at mentally, might be the right course. Waiting and doing nothing is not a good option. You can do it without saying what you know, just that you are concerned and that suicide is not a good option. It destroys others. Just my uninformed opinion, thankfully. Best wishes for you and him.
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Orange Blooded [4171]
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 11:31 AM
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He needs money and he needs family support.
Can you give him money?
Can you help with child care or do other things to help?
This isn't something that can wait.
While I'm guessing his wife is a significant part of the problem, you may have to put up with her or go through her to get this back into a manageable situation where he can make better decisions.
I'd also suggest therapy for him but I'd guess he won't accept that or have time given the current issues.
When a cousin was struggling and too proud to take money, a distant relative died and left him a $10k inheritance...
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110%er [8238]
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Suicide is NOTHING to JOKE about
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Jun 5, 2024, 11:42 AM
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Having been a man who lost his mother to such in 2009, I can honestly say that suicide leaves a void unfulfilled in those who are left behind to struggle with the pain of a loss. I've also dealt with losing fellow Marines after they come home and I myself have considered it. You have to pray hard and then approach your son. At the end of the day, a long-term solution such as suicide is never the answer for short term problems. Remind your son that financial strength does not determine the success or failure of a man, but how well he loves and protects his family. That's what counts in the grand scheme of things and if his family has all basic necessities met, then you can't really ask for much more. Tonight, I ask for God to touch your son's heart and I ask for him to ###* the culture of false prosperity that our American culture has created. My prayers don't travel far I'm certain of it because I am not a righteous man, but I will tell you that I NEVER want to see another human being commit suicide ever again in my life. Daniel Bennett committed suicide not even 8 feet away from me in Afghanistan in 2008. I carried his brains on my boots for several days until the supply section could get me more. It was at Camp Bastion, and he killed himself without cause or reason. Another Marine of mine hung himself on the U.S.S Kearsarge on the last day of deployment off the coast of N.C. and I had to sit with his body for two days before departing the ship. I wish that on NO MAN. If I need to talk to your son, please T-MAIL me..... He needs to hear a dose of reality and normalcy. My prayers although not very effective at times are with you. TAKE THIS SERIOUS!
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CU Medallion [59595]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 46901
Joined: 4/23/00
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Sounds like he needs help - don't ignore it.
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Jun 5, 2024, 11:50 AM
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Let him know you know or suspect something is up, and make sure he knows these things:
1. You love him and care, and don't want to lose him. With you, family and friends, he has a strong support system.
2. Reassure him no matter how bad it seems, it can and will get better.
3. Make sure he knows that if he has considered suicide, he needs help and help is availble. Encourage him to go.
I lost my father to suicide. His situation was permanent with no chance of improving, so I understood. Still, it was devastating for me and everyone who knew him. Thoughts and prayers for your son, and for you and your family. I hope he gets some professional help.
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All-TigerNet [10954]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2/15/23
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 11:52 AM
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Praying for your son and the family.
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MVP [516]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 1/7/13
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 12:35 PM
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Talk with him, pray for him and see if he will pray to GOD. I tell you, it works. My wife and I were at rock bottom. I prayed and HE answered. It wasn't immediate but we are in a much better place today.
Suicide is not the answer. It only hurts friends and family. They are there to provide help and support. Your son can get through this. GOD bless!
I'm adding you all into my prayers.
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CU Guru [1392]
TigerPulse: 97%
Posts: 1407
Joined: 10/24/05
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Get on this quick...my friend lost his son and
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Jun 5, 2024, 12:50 PM
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didn’t interpret the warning signs in time.
Prayers sent!
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Legend [16342]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 21541
Joined: 9/24/07
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 12:52 PM
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Please don’t wait. Show him he’s important to you and his family, and he is needed. Prayers!
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110%er [6010]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 2148
Joined: 9/2/02
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Usually; when someone has a prayer request, I will TU and
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Jun 5, 2024, 1:01 PM
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I will TU all the responses, to the request as a gesture of thanks to God for willing servants. However; in this case I'm just touched by your request, because my son also went through some trying times, where we worried about him too. Thanks be to The Great God of Heaven and Earth, he has moved through these dark times. The only advice I can give is pray. Pray hard and continuous. Have everyone you know, pray also. If you have a Church family, ask for their prayers, and constantly ask for their prayers. The power of prayer is a great and wonderful thing. You have mine, now. God bless you and your son.
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CU Guru [1963]
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Posts: 754
Joined: 12/30/07
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 1:05 PM
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I am praying for you, your son and you entire family. Unfortunately life is hard and for some it sometimes seems to hard to continue. I am now chasing 60 and throughout my life I have known several people that have thought life had gotten too hard and have taken their own lives. Many of them I had lost touch with but I couple I still had contact with and I have often wondered if I could have said or done something to help them. Talk to him, make sure he understands how much you love him and that taking his own life is not the answer. Sometimes life seems impossible but it will get better as long as he keeps trying, suicide only means it will never get better for him or anyone else involved.
There is a lot of good advice in the comments. The suicide hotline seems like a good place to start. I pray that this all works out, his life improves and he lives to a ripe old age. You are receiving a lot of love and many prayers, that is a great start.
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CU Guru [1593]
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Joined: 3/1/11
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 1:09 PM
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Communications is key! Be proactive about making time for / with him. Whatever feelings he has aren't healthy at this point and he needs to talk. Let him say whatever he needs to say. Don't pass judgment. Make sure he knows your love for him is unconditional. But also make sure he knows that he can get through whatever "hard place" he finds himself in at the present. Loving acceptance is critically important for folks battling depression. So do whatever you have to do to get him out of his routine, or rut, and get alone to provide a forum that will enable him to feel comfortable opening up. I will be praying for you both.
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All-Conference [408]
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Joined: 2/24/10
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 1:14 PM
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Prayers for your son and your family!🙏
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Legend [19905]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 17336
Joined: 8/18/05
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Sounds like a cry for help
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Jun 5, 2024, 1:14 PM
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do not wait. Do not concern yourself about how you found out. Tell him flat out, this isn't you quiting a job, it's suicide he broached.
They need marital counseling if the wife is as uninvolved as you say. If he's indeed carrying all that in the marriage, they must correct that.
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110%er [5520]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 2100
Joined: 11/23/03
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Keep in mind that with a newborn...
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Jun 5, 2024, 1:45 PM
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...his wife my be suffering from postpartum depression.
She may be having issues beyond her control. They both may need help but that child needs both parents.
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Orange Blooded [3644]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 3338
Joined: 10/1/01
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 2:16 PM
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THIS IS NOT A JOKING MATTER!!!!
As a 61 year old father, husband and grandfather that is fairly financially successful (I plan to retire in less than 2 years), I have dealt with depression issues for years. Those hours sitting in that car would have only fueled my desperate thoughts. I would sometimes come home from work and just sit in my truck for a bit just because my mind was racing with negative thoughts. Sometimes I blew things off, sometimes I made comments about suicide, and sometimes I would just take a road trip by myself to contemplate whether I wanted to continue life. It got totally real to me when I finally convinced my wife to go to the doctor with me. I threw it all out there, everything, even the part where I had already planned the place, the means, and even the setup (which would have included my windshield camera to make it an easy investigation). I had never opened up that strongly about it to anyone, before. The reality of my seriousness during that visit hit my wife hard, but I think it hit the doctor even harder. She knew I needed help, and needed it quick. That was 2 1/2 months ago. Tried two different meds, but the side effects made it worse. Now, I am off meds, but have support that is helping me get through it.
What helped? Well, my wife realizing how serious I was and that it wasn't just me trying to win an argument changed her ways of dealing with me when I was mad, anxious, or upset. Letting my children know that I was struggling and that I wanted them to understand I needed them as much as I hoped they needed me made. It helped them open up to me about how Blessed I really was. I have not hidden anything from anybody! I have told my friends I have been struggling, and they all now know what to look for in my actions so that I don't go the wrong direction.
Bottom line, talk to him. Get counseling. Go to a doctor's visit with him and discuss it. Do NOT let him convince you that sitting in that car for 13 hours was not a serious issue! He is crying out for help by doing that. Laughing about it while mentioning suicide is proof he has those thoughts.
Hope this helps, and prayers for your family.
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Standout [326]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 23
Joined: 11/26/22
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 2:20 PM
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I am praying for your son, you, and your family. Please be proactive. My husband and I have two friends (both were Marine Corps officers) who committed suicide. It was terrible for their families and friends because almost everyone wondered if they could have prevented these deaths. God can get you all through this. Keep your eyes on Him.
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Trainer [33]
TigerPulse: 97%
Posts: 11
Joined: 6/14/22
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 2:21 PM
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My 17 yr old grandson took his life July 2022. Knowing what we know now i would talk to him and let him know he can call or come by any time he needs too.
Prayers for your son and family
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Trainer [33]
TigerPulse: 97%
Posts: 11
Joined: 6/14/22
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 2:25 PM
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My 17 yr old grandson took his life July 2022. Knowing what we know now i would talk to him and let him know he can call or come by any time he needs too.
Prayers for your son and family
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CU Guru [1150]
TigerPulse: 79%
Posts: 1872
Joined: 10/10/10
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 2:49 PM
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At the same time as you are talking with him and organizing counseling with professionals I would give him some financial relief now. With the seriousness of the situation I would err on the side of being over generous. Sometimes in life we need a little help to get our head above water. On top of getting his momentum back, when you are a young adult it is nice to know you're not alone and someone has your back if things are really bad. Later you will have time to help him sort things out as far as a plan going forward.
Message was edited by: Clemtiger81®
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Freshman [7]
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Posts: 2
Joined: 6/5/24
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 2:58 PM
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I have read Tigernet for years but never posted. I had to change my user name today so I could reply because I forgot my password. But this hit home. My son suffers from depression. He has attempted suicide three times. As a student at Clemson his friends notice things but never said anything. After his first attempt many spoke up. His other two attempts were from side effects of medication and because he stopped his meds.
When I found him after the first attempt he was in a dark place. My wife and I immediately got him help. It was a long and expensive process but worth every penny and second spent. Most of which could have been avoided if someone would have contacted me early.
He is doing great now. Graduated from Clemson, meet a wonderful girl and got married. They are expecting there first future Tiger in October.
This has been a 10+ year process. The future looks bright now.
Don’t wait. Talk to your son now, before it is too late. Prayer gave me strength to see my son through his issue. Jesus will come if you call. I am calling Him to help you and your son just as He did for me and my son. Oh yeah, my son came back to his faith and is active in it. God is in the business of working miracles, but we have to ask. Ask Him. Praying for your son, his wife, you & your family. God bless you and know that you are loved.
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Hall of Famer [22134]
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Posts: 5522
Joined: 7/15/13
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 5:56 PM
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Glad to hear your inspiring story of your son and thanks for the kind words and advice.
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Freshman [7]
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Posts: 2
Joined: 6/5/24
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 2:58 PM
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I have read Tigernet for years but never posted. I had to change my user name today so I could reply because I forgot my password. But this hit home. My son suffers from depression. He has attempted suicide three times. As a student at Clemson his friends notice things but never said anything. After his first attempt many spoke up. His other two attempts were from side effects of medication and because he stopped his meds.
When I found him after the first attempt he was in a dark place. My wife and I immediately got him help. It was a long and expensive process but worth every penny and second spent. Most of which could have been avoided if someone would have contacted me early.
He is doing great now. Graduated from Clemson, meet a wonderful girl and got married. They are expecting there first future Tiger in October.
This has been a 10+ year process. The future looks bright now.
Don’t wait. Talk to your son now, before it is too late. Prayer gave me strength to see my son through his issue. Jesus will come if you call. I am calling Him to help you and your son just as He did for me and my son. Oh yeah, my son came back to his faith and is active in it. God is in the business of working miracles, but we have to ask. Ask Him. Praying for your son, his wife, you & your family. God bless you and know that you are loved.
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1st Rounder [606]
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Posts: 75
Joined: 2/15/05
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 5:57 PM
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Great post and advice. Good luck to both of your families.
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MVP [503]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 142
Joined: 12/30/18
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 2:59 PM
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Prayers for wisdom and guidance for you and peace of mind for your son.
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110%er [6271]
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Posts: 4324
Joined: 6/23/17
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 3:54 PM
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Sending prayers for your son, you, and your family.
Smitty, my condolences for your loss. Sadly it has touched too many of us.
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Hall of Famer [22134]
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Joined: 7/15/13
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 4:43 PM
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Thanks to everybody that sent private t-mails and messages and most of all prayers. Your kind and concerning words helped and will do my best to use this advice. Thanks again and God bless each of you and your families!!
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Walk-On [127]
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 4:47 PM
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I have been thru a rough patch myself. I went to the hospital because of this in hopes of getting some sort of treatment. I would really recommend you reaching out the spouse and she if she could convince him to goto the ER to get help. It does look like there is some suicidal thoughts so treatment should be as soon as possible. I will pray for yall.
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All-TigerNet [13347]
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 8:24 PM
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Prayers sent 🙏
Love and support.
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Orange Blooded [4195]
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 8:49 PM
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Sending prayers to you and your son. I know someone that took his own life and it was a total shock to everyone. It sounds like your son is calling out for help with dropping subtle hints. Please don’t wait. As a parent, my heart goes out to you. My little brother battles depression and it’s so difficult to understand why he feels the way he feels. He can’t see all the wonderful things we see. I pray that things get better soon. he can beat this!
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Legend [15076]
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 5, 2024, 9:08 PM
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My daughter is 2 years younger. She is a cardiac nurse caring for heart and lung transplant patients bedside. She recently moved up to Cardiac ICU.
She deals with life and death on every shift. It can take you down some pretty dark paths. Most of the nurses in her group are receiving one on one weekly or biweekly counseling to deal with depression, guilt (could I have some more?) etc. This is a lot to process and handle for a soon to be 26 yo. 12 hour shifts alternating between days and nights adds to the trauma.
The counseling has been the best support mechanism and with her insurance, she only has a $20 copay per session.
I would highly recommend your son give this a try and will keep you guys in my prayers.
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Orange Blooded [3374]
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Re: Prayers and advice needed
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Jun 6, 2024, 3:31 PM
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While praying about your situation I couldn't help thinking about your grandbaby. Will your son's wife be competent to take care of the baby if your son spends time in a treatment facility or hospital? Would you, your other son, or other family members be able to take in the baby if needed? I'm praying you never need to answer that type of question, but please be sure there is an emergency plan in place for the little one.
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