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Replies: 11
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Ultimate Tiger [34374]
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It's baack...Monday! And 'Dad Jokes'...and groans!
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Nov 17, 2025, 7:15 AM
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What an odd weekend. Friday football meant...I had the whole weekend to be productive...and I actually was!
Jumpin' right to it!
I don't fear condiments on my food!
I relish it! (That joke is so...'you know who!')
A woman comes home from work wearing a diamond necklace. Hubby asks, "Where did you get that?"
"I won it in a raffle at work!", she answered. "Get my bath ready while I start dinner."
The next day she waltzes in with a diamond bracelet on her wrist. "So, where did you get the bracelet?", he asked. "I won it in a raffle at work. Get my bath ready while I start dinner," she replied (without saying, "Please", I might add...very rude)
The next she arrives home wearing a mink coat. "So, I suppose you won that in a raffle at work?", he asked. She exclaimed, "Yeah, I did! How did you guess? Get my bath ready while I prepare supper." (Frankly, she's rude!)
Later, after supper, she goes to take her bath and notices there's only an inch of water in the tub. She yells to her husband, "Hey! There's only an inch of water in the bath!"
He answered, "I didn't want your raffle ticket to get wet!"
Kick you week off right, Tiger Nation! Go Tigers, ALWAYS!
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Clemson Sports Icon [59875]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: It's baack...Monday! And 'Dad Jokes'...and groans!
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Nov 17, 2025, 7:20 AM
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+1 for including a professor in today's Dad Jokes.
- Just sayin!
My teachers told me I’d never amount to much because I procrastinate so much.
I told them, “Just you wait!”
What’s the opposite of artificial intelligence?
- Natural stupidity.
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Clemson Sports Icon [56750]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: It's baack...Monday! And 'Dad Jokes'...and groans!
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Nov 17, 2025, 7:22 AM
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My wife likes to have about 20% of a conversation in her head before looping me in.
We’ll be driving in silence and she’ll suddenly go..
“And then we’ll grab the kids and head straight there.”
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All-Time Great [96818]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2020
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Re: It's baack...Monday! And 'Dad Jokes'...and groans!
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Nov 17, 2025, 7:26 AM
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Oculus Spirit [40202]
TigerPulse: 100%
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A Mexican fireman has two sons: Jose and Hose B
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Nov 17, 2025, 8:00 AM
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I bought a U.S.A. map, took it home, hung it on the wall, gave my daughter a dart, and told her to throw it to where she wants to go to college. She threw it right into my lip! Looks like she’s going to Dartmouth. My son went to Rand McNally. I took my wife to Alaska; I’ll be picking her up next spring.
Where’s the best place to look when playing hide and seek with a park ranger? In the hydrangea! Bear in mind you can always Smokey them out. Only you can prevent forest hiders. Ranger Smith says you should hide your picnic baskets when you’re in Jellystone Park.
Just ate my last piece of brie and now it’s raining. Ain’t no sunshine when cheese gone. Anytime she goes a whey. But I know, I know, I know, I can lean on brie.
Jokes in honor of CBProf® DownSouthTiger® Salty55®
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Ultimate Tiger [34374]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2014
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TigerNet HOFer [124243]
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Joined: 2006
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When BigAl grows up, he wants to be like dsp...***
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Nov 17, 2025, 8:07 AM
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Legend [6713]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: It's baack...Monday! And 'Dad Jokes'...and groans!
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Nov 17, 2025, 8:29 AM
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I just got kicked out of a secret cooking society.
I spilled the beans.
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Oculus Spirit [42676]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: It's baack...Monday! And 'Dad Jokes'...and groans!
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Nov 17, 2025, 8:52 AM
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I just found out Albert Einstein was a real person!
All this time I thought he was a theoretical physicist.
Why don’t hyenas get sick?
Because laughter is the best medicine.
I think maybe there are some TNetters out there that should try some!
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CU Medallion [20614]
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Joined: 2016
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Re: It's baack...Monday! And 'Dad Jokes'...and groans!
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Nov 17, 2025, 8:55 AM
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A large heavy set lady wearing a one piece jumpsuit walks into a bar and raises her arm as high as she can exposing a super hairy arm pit then says, which one of you men will by a lady a drink. The bar got quiet and finally at the very far end of the bar, an older drunk gentleman said, I will by the ballerina a drink.
The bartender gave her a drink and she slammed it down. A couple minutes later she raises her arm as high as she can exposing a super hairy arm pit again then says, which one of you men will by a lady a drink. Like the first time, the bar got quiet and finally at the very far end of the bar, the same older drunk gentleman said, I will by the ballerina a drink.
The bartender got her another drink and then walked back down the bar to older drunk gentleman and asked why do you keep calling that woman a ballerina? The man said any woman that can raise her leg that high has to be a ballerina.
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Starter [286]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: It's baack...Monday! And 'Dad Jokes'...and groans!
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Nov 17, 2025, 9:06 AM
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The first five days after a weekend are the hardest.
I’m took my grandson to the aquarium this weekend, but we didn’t stay long.
There’s just something fishy about that place!
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Ultimate Clemson Legend [109424]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2006
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lol***
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Nov 17, 2025, 9:23 AM
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