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All-In [47741]
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Very religious Mother of is keeping the kids this summer
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May 30, 2024, 11:04 AM
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which is a great help to us. However, now the kids have started having conversations between themselves about heaven and hell. Wondering if they will make it to heaven or if they will go to hell. Wondering when Jesus is coming back etc.
Reminds me of a lot of ######## from childhood. Moreover just the ever present fear that is instilled in church kids. That you must always be good, always wonder if that last sin you committed is "covered" (This is Pentecostal who vehemently deny "once saved always saved"). Concerned that Jesus could come back any minute and you're not "ready" and will be left behind.
I refuse to let my children grow up in that environment of fear.
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All-TigerNet [11877]
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Jesus is coming!
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May 30, 2024, 11:19 AM
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Y’all look busy.
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Team Captain [471]
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Re: Very religious Mother of is keeping the kids this summer
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May 30, 2024, 11:20 AM
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I had to chuckle at that. We had to "deprogram" our children for a week or more after they too spent a week with the grandparents. But it was more of the "No, you can't watch that, No, you can't stay up that late, No, you can't have that, No, you can't eat that". With the usual response of "But grandma (or grandpa) let us".
"growing up in an environment of fear" via the church I would say it would depend on the church. As a Presbyterian the part of the service that I like (for the lack of a better term) the most is the Prayer of Confession, where we confess that we are all, indeed sinners. Immediately followed by the Assurance of Pardon. That Jesus lived for us, died for us and rose for us and that we are forgiven. And at least in our church, the children are learning more through love than fear.
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Oculus Spirit [94897]
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"...perfect love casteth out fear."
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May 30, 2024, 6:44 PM
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Fear and worry are an abomination to God. The are actually diametrically opposed to faith, an insult to God and the blood of His Only Begotten Son.
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Rock Defender [59]
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Re: "...perfect love casteth out fear."
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May 31, 2024, 8:21 AM
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Aside from the constant threat of violence, yeah, agreeable.
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Rock Defender [59]
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Re: Very religious Mother of is keeping the kids this summer
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May 30, 2024, 11:25 AM
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Yep. It's a frustrating thing to see your kids worry over nonsense, some ####### told them.
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Orange Blooded [2356]
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Re: Very religious Mother of is keeping the kids this summer
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May 30, 2024, 1:50 PM
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I feel your pain. I’ve already told my wife I would be very vocal that hell is BS when my kids start asking questions.
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All-In [47741]
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It's a fine line to walk because on one hand, I don't want to offend her
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May 30, 2024, 2:30 PM
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and she stops keeping the kids, or worse, tries to sabotage relationships. And offense is very easy when somebody makes their religion their entire personality and only talks about praying and Jesus (I'm not exaggerating).
But on the other hand I've already had to go off on them because my mother's hatred of homosexuals really messed with my daughter's head because we preach to love everyone and let Jesus condemn. So when you give a stark dichotomy to an 8 year old it throws them off.
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Orange Blooded [2496]
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What you're experiencing is typical of divorced parents with kids....
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Jun 1, 2024, 8:21 AM
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The kids get one set of instructions in one house, and a different set of instructions in the other house. But both sets of instructions are likely well-meaning, but they do confuse the kids. It's what happens when divorced parents share custody to some extent.
The best you can do is raise them with your values, and still try to have the other parent (in this case, the mom) in their lives some, assuming she isn't abusive.
I'm sorry your kids and you are dealing with this. But there are worse things for a kid than having a mother that believes in Jesus.
Just raise them with love, and model the best behavior you can. And they'll grow up to be good kids that will make you proud.
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110%er [6683]
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Hall of Famer [24914]
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I dont think you have anything to be concerned about.
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May 31, 2024, 9:45 AM
[ in reply to Re: Very religious Mother of is keeping the kids this summer ] |
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The statistics are that children today have a very high likelihood of finishing high school with your outlook. A few words from grandparents will have little effect on that.
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All-In [30396]
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Re: Very religious Mother of is keeping the kids this summer
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May 30, 2024, 3:15 PM
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I grew up in a Fire and Brimstone environment and spent a fair amount of my early youth terrorized. As I've said before, my clan didn't handle snakes, but we knew people who did.
Ideas of hell aside, speaking-in-tongues and people collapsing onto the floor makes a dramatic enough impression on a 5-6 year old without bringing poisonous reptiles into the building.
But none of that was done by ill-meaning people. They were all trying to do the right thing, in the way they were taught. And trying to teach their children what they had learned.
It may have been beyond their means, coming from a time of limited information access and small-town sensibilities, but in retrospect I wish someone had told me, at a very young age:
"Look, there are some really big, potentially really important questions out there...like, What is consciousness? What is life? Why are we, or anything in the universe, even here? But every answer anyone ever gives you is a guess. Some guesses based on abstract ideas, and some are based on personal experiences, but ultimately, they are all guesses, because no one really knows. And if anyone says they are 100% sure of everything, you are best to walk away, because they fooling you, and themselves. It's called 'belief,'and only 'belief' for a reason."
That doesn't mean ignore the questions, and it doesn't mean that some of the answers might not be right, but it does mean understand the limitations of the answers you, or others might come up with.
If there is a God, and there is such a thing as a personal relationship, then who's going to tell you your relationship with God is wrong because it's not the same relationship they have? I mean, is it your personal relationship or theirs? You feel what you feel. It might be profound, or it might be nothing at all. Which one is right and which one is wrong? And who's going to step up and say so?
A simple conversation like that would have taken a lot of angst out of my youth.
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Hall of Famer [24914]
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Re: Very religious Mother of is keeping the kids this summer
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May 31, 2024, 11:50 AM
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"I dont hate yankees. I have friends who do." -- Louis Grizzard
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Oculus Spirit [94897]
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I grew up attending a variety of churches from Baptist, Church of Christ...
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May 30, 2024, 6:42 PM
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Methodist but mostly Pentecostal. I have several Pentecostal friends. I ask them if they think they are going to hell. Not one of them believes they will even though they freely admit they are sinful and sin daily.
They say that stuff but none of them seem to fear going to hell.
Ask your mother if she thinks there is any way she is going to hell. When she goes on a rant about 'getting saved and living like you want to live,' simply ask her if she is living in a way she doesn't want to live.
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All-In [47741]
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If living like her gets me to heaven, I'll pass***
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May 30, 2024, 6:43 PM
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Legend [18215]
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Re: If living like her gets me to heaven, I'll pass***
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May 31, 2024, 8:07 AM
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With no malice intended, it is not how one lives that determines if they go to heaven or not.
Too many people look at Christians and say, "Why do I need to go to church to be saved? I can stay at home and live as good as that hypocrite!" And this would be true...if how one lives is the deciding factor on whether one gets into heaven or not.
Oh, there will be changes in how one lives after salvation in Jesus, but those changed lives will more certainly look like "Construction Zones" than anything else - most certainly not a finished project. I think we all understand that walking in, or around, a construction zone can be hazardous. But, when something needs repair, that gets worked on too... and everyone gets to see the work in progress. No doubt there will be criticism of it.
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Orange Blooded [2356]
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Re: If living like her gets me to heaven, I'll pass***
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May 31, 2024, 12:05 PM
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There doesn’t seem to be a clear standard for what a “Christian” is actually working towards though.
You compare one’s growth as a Christian to a construction zone….so what does the skyscraper look like? What would be the end goal for a Christian if they were to reach it?
Jesus and Paul seem to have competing views, as do other New Testament writers. Maybe not necessarily contradicting views, but Paul definitely added to what Jesus said. For example…
Jesus said true worship is done in spirit and truth. Paul said do not forsake the assembling of yourselves. Contradictory no, competing maybe. A lot of Christians today use the latter to judge those who do not faithfully attend church.
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Legend [18215]
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Re: If living like her gets me to heaven, I'll pass***
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May 31, 2024, 3:09 PM
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The clear standard for Christian growth begins by:
1) Loving God with all your heart, soul, and mind. This means knowing God's word and applying it's truth to our life.
2) Loving one's neighbor as they love themselves. This means as we learn God's word, we understand how precarious life is for everyone, just as it was for our own lives, and we do our best to help others know the truth of Jesus in and through love for them. (This AIN"T easy)
I also suggest the construction should not be of a nature as to build a skyscraper. That is to have lofty aspirations. Such as those that people use to point to themselves and say, "Look at me and what I have done!" The construction zone should be more of a remodeling of what is already there.
To worship in Spirit and in truth does not mean it is contrary to worship with other believers. No one Christian is a standalone. It is too easy to fail in your remodeling project when you have no one else to help. So, there is no contradiction or competing statement in your example.
And, you are correct in saying that many "judge" others because they don't attend church. It is hurtful to some, but not so much to others. Still, I think it is wrong to do so. I will always encourage folks to be in church. It is Biblical to do so. I will not tell them they are "lost for eternity" if they don't go to church. It is not Biblical to do so.
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Orange Blooded [2356]
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Re: If living like her gets me to heaven, I'll pass***
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May 31, 2024, 5:30 PM
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I wonder what Jesus would say about the "church", especially the modern church. He didn't seem to have that system in mind. He said go to the ends of the earth. While Paul himself spread the gospel, he seemed to have more of an inward focus, and I think his words are followed more than Jesus' which is odd considering it's called "Christ"ianity. Churches today are really more clubs than anything else. You shop around until you find somewhere that aligns with how you were raised and where you are in life.
Jesus had a great message. Is he the way, the truth, and the life? I think that was a later concoction by his religious followers.
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Legend [18215]
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Re: If living like her gets me to heaven, I'll pass***
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May 31, 2024, 8:26 PM
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Jesus went to the Temple (as was his custom) to teach when He was on this earth. He had some harsh words for those who were "in charge" of the Temple... but He Never said the Temple did not have its place.
As "Christianity" grew, and believers were not welcome in the Temple, the [church] was born. Now, I believe the [church] is the body of all believers, not the building. Nevertheless, the building grew out of the home - where too many coming to faith could no longer congregate for lack of room.
Whether it is the Temple, or the Church, the one problem that is always at the heart of the issue is people. People will be people. And the heart of the problem is a problem with the heart.
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Orange Blooded [3237]
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Oculus Spirit [94897]
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Living like your mother will not get you to heaven.
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Jun 1, 2024, 4:17 AM
[ in reply to If living like her gets me to heaven, I'll pass*** ] |
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The only door to heaven is accepting Jesus as your savior. When you do that a new creature is born within you. He is part you and part God, you are literally born of God's spirit. That's when the fun begins.
When I got saved I had a desire to quit sinning. I was a disaster. I probably resisted sin in a manner of speaking but in my eyes I'd become more sinful than ever. I was constantly repenting, turning away from sin only to find more to turn away from than was possible. I've been that way my entire life.
Paul justly said, 'I am the chiefest of sinners,' but that's because he didn't know me.
King David, the best King Israel ever had said: "5 Behold, I was shapen in iniquity; and in sin did my mother conceive me." He realized the best he would ever do was not sufficient toward holiness.
That is the specific reason Jesus shed His blood for me and for you. If we could live as your dear mother presents herself to be living we wouldn't need salvation, we would be holy.
FBCoachSC®, I strongly recommend you teach your children the way I taught mine. From the time they and I could communicate I taught them that forgiveness for sin is dependent upon the blood Christ shed and in no fashion might a man be acceptable to God without that blood being applied to his soul. After one does that any fear or fright is a delusion.
There is no need for one who accepts Jesus to fear.
One day you will realize God's saving grace and when you are an old man you will lay in bed and regret not raising your children to respect God. At least your mother has that part right.
Message was edited by: ClemsonTiger1988®
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Hall of Famer [20654]
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FIRE AND BRIMSTONE ain't no joke.***
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May 31, 2024, 4:20 AM
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110%er [9713]
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Re: Very religious Mother of is keeping the kids this summer
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May 31, 2024, 3:13 PM
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get a second and third job so their mother can stay home with them
whats the issue
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110%er [9713]
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Re: Very religious Mother of is keeping the kids this summer
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May 31, 2024, 3:15 PM
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Jesus will only come after a great falling away
oh wait
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CU Medallion [61007]
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Then pay up and have someone else watch
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Jun 1, 2024, 8:24 AM
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your kids.
Or be grateful that you have good in-laws that try and steer your kids in the right path.
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Orange Blooded [2356]
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Re: Then pay up and have someone else watch
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Jun 1, 2024, 9:09 AM
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I think that’s the problem. Coach doesn’t see teaching them that gay people are bad and everyone who doesn’t believe my religion goes to hell is the right path.
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Oculus Spirit [94897]
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I think you're exaggerating.
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Jun 2, 2024, 5:27 AM
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If I've told you once I've told you a million times: DON'T EXAGGERATE!
I broached the attitude that everyone should be a Southern Baptist. I was being a dog. I was young in God's Spirit and barely able to digest spiritual milk, babe if you please. As I grew in God's grace He taught me that He sprinkled His adopted children all across the realm of churches which believe His only Son is the door to His saving grace.
If your mother really believes that everyone but those who belong to her type of church and believe as she and her fellow members believe she is a child in God and not matured. That happens but those who are matured past that child-like confusion will not confront her.
I do not believe that everyone in her denomination agree with her. Baptist continue to have spiritually younger members who are deceived in their belief that only Baptist go to Heaven.
My view of them is this: They are God's children, His problem and if He wants my help He will tell me. So far I've heard nothing from Him other than, 'Let it alone.'
GOOD NEWS, God deals with us as individuals. He is a personal type being. He won't put your mail in my box nor will He dial my number and ask for you when I pick up the phone.
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Orange Blooded [2356]
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Re: I think you're exaggerating.
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Jun 2, 2024, 12:02 PM
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I'm not exaggerating. I live amongst people who go to church every time the doors are open. I'm just going by what I hear and see from them.
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Orange Blooded [3310]
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Re: I think you're exaggerating.
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Jun 3, 2024, 7:56 AM
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This doesn't seem that complicated. If he believes his mother's religious views create an environment of fear and doesn't want his children in such an environment, find other accommodations. I don't believe anyone reading any part of this thread would deliberately and continually place their children in an environment they truly believed to be harmful.
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Orange Blooded [3310]
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Re: Very religious Mother of is keeping the kids this summer
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Jun 1, 2024, 8:31 AM
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Seems you have a choice. 1. Allow this woman do damage (from your perspective) your children for the sake of your convenience or financial advantage. 2. Make other arrangemnts and protect (again, from your perspective) your children.
This is a no-brainer. I can't imagine anyone ever choosing convenience over what is best for their children.
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CU Guru [1427]
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Re: Very religious Mother of is keeping the kids this summer
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Jun 4, 2024, 11:14 AM
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I feel for you man. I think you should do what you feel you need to for the sake of your kids.
Luckily my kids didn’t really take any of that serious, even though they went to church with my parents and their cousins and friends from time to time. My parents were not the fire and brimstone type, and would not even call them Christians, although they went to church often. I think me and my siblings were the last generation that had the Grands (on both sides) that would do this to young kids. Many of my cousins would be at my maternal grandmothers house often. My Mom had 9 siblings and they all popped out a bunch of kids. We would get talked to about heaven/hell, God, Jesus and the Holy Ghost ALOT, but we would drive Granny crazy with questions and not take it to seriously. None of my cousins grew up to be religious. Note of those 9 uncles and aunts, 5 of them became ministers during my childhood none of their children embraced religion
Now my 5 boys are grown and have kids of their own. They’ve never even met any of the Uber religious folks in my family as they’re gone now.
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