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'Hump Day Madness'...perhaps a Dad-ish Joke will help...
Tiger Boards - The Amphitheatre
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'Hump Day Madness'...perhaps a Dad-ish Joke will help...

11

Apr 2, 2025, 8:02 AM
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Two old women were outside their nursing home having a smoke when it started raining.
One of the ladies pulled out a c0ndom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette and continued puffing.
The other lady asks, "What's that?" "A c0ndom. Keeps my cigarette dry," says the first gal. "Where did you get it?", asked the first lady. "Any drugstore has them," she replied, puffing away.

The next day, the first lady hobbled into a drugstore, announcing to the pharmacist that she wants a box of c0ndoms. Looking obviously embarrassed, he looks at her strangely (she's over 80, after all) and delicately asks what brand she prefers.

She replied, "Doesn't matter, as long as it fits a Camel!"

Sunscreen is packed...Jamaica, here I come! Hold me a spot, deadsolidperfect !

Seems apropos for Hump Day, yeah? Go Tigers!

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Re: 'Hump Day Madness'...perhaps a Dad-ish Joke will help...

10

Apr 2, 2025, 8:08 AM
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Lighting struck the orchestra, but only one person got hit...the conductor! :0)

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What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs Bunny

10

Apr 2, 2025, 8:24 AM
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Waiter: Are you ready to order?
Dad: I'll have the rabbit stew.
Waiter: Only if you promise not to say "there's a hare in my soup" after I bring it.
Dad: I'll have the chicken.

Never ask your wife what's for dinner while she's mowing the lawn.

A dyslexic agnostic wonders if there really is a dog.

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Re: 'Hump Day Madness'...perhaps a Dad-ish Joke will help...

10

Apr 2, 2025, 8:27 AM
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A horse and a chicken are best of friends. They do everything together, and sometimes end up in trouble together. This one day, they are out playing around this large mud puddle. The horse slips and falls in. He starts struggling and splashing...help! Help! I can't get out!!
The chicken(as all chickens must) freaks out and starts running around, squawking and flapping. Eventually, he sees the farmers Porsche. He gets a rope, ties it to the Porsche, drives over and throws the end of the rope to the horse. The horse grabs the rope and the chicken pulls him out. They are both frightened, but relieved.
A few days later, they are back at the mud puddle, and the chicken falls in. The chicken starts squawking and flapping....help!help! Go get the farmers Porsche!!! The horse says...nah, I got this, and straddles the puddle. Horse says, just reach up and grab a hold of my (twig and giggle berries). Chicken reaches out, grabs the horse's junk, and the horse pulls the chicken out
Morale of the story...if you're hung like a horse, you don't need a Porsche to pick up chicks

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I'm pretty sure you just bumped me

6

Apr 2, 2025, 8:42 AM
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From my Jamaica trip! ;)

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O deer***

7

Apr 2, 2025, 8:31 AM
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Re: 'Hump Day Madness'...perhaps a Dad-ish Joke will help...

8

Apr 2, 2025, 8:44 AM
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What is a physics teacher’s favorite Bible verse? Romans 8:39: “Neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

How do we know God likes coffee? Because the Bible says, He brews.

Why wasn’t Boaz a nice man before he got married? He was Ruth-less.

Aside from Adam & Eve, who in the Bible had no parents? Joshua, son of Nun (“none”).

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I try to save a life a day, usually it is my own.


Re: 'Hump Day Madness'...perhaps a Dad-ish Joke will help...

8

Apr 2, 2025, 9:27 AM
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What do you call a witch whose broom won’t fly?
A cab.

Why are witches good drivers?
They can drive a stick.

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Re: 'Hump Day Madness'...perhaps a Dad-ish Joke will help...

7

Apr 2, 2025, 9:51 AM
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What kind of shoes do frogs wear? Open toad shoes.

I also learned men make it into heaven before women do. Revelation 8:1 says “When the Lamb opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven for about half an hour.”
‭‭

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