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Heisman Winner [138157]
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Colonoscopy Wrapup
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Mar 23, 2023, 11:08 AM
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Yesterday: sucked, for the most part, but not as bad as I'd been led to believe. Had 4 Dulcolax, half a gallon of Gatorade, and 8+ ounces of Miralax before getting any action, but by around 5:30pm, it was ON. Lost around 8 lbs. over the next 5 hours. Sip of water at midnight, and that was the last thing I consumed until post-procedure brefiss (pics in Fordtunate's thread below).
This Morning: check in, paperwork, change into hospital gown, IV, all pretty easy. No hot nurses pre-procedure, so didn't have to busy myself with those concerns. Doc asked how the prep was, and then said "you had no idea you were that full of shit, didja?" The balls on this guy.
Wheeled back for procedure, chatting with nurses, one of them asked how I got the bruise on the back of my leg. Turns out, there's a pretty massive bruise to go with my shoulder (which is almost gone now), and I have no idea how it happened. Probably Saturday, and probably deep into the bourbon. It looks like it would have hurt if I remembered it.
Next thing I know, I was sorta startled awake in the recovery room. That anesthesia they're using is pretty magical. It's pretty close to "turn it on, OUT, turn it off, wake back up", and really no hangover to speak of. Could have easily walked out of there if they'd let me. Two small polyps, will biopsy, if pre-cancerous, back in 5 years, if not, don't gotta think about this for another decade.
Went to Vicious Biscuit with Dad, ordered, thought I had to poop while waiting for food, sat down on toilet, and ripped a 12-14 second fart. Nothing to wipe. I didn't realize they inflate you like a tire, but it makes sense, I guess.
Whole thing is apparently WAY easier than it was just 20 years ago. Looking forward to a dump with some substance to it.
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All-In [48057]
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I had one
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Mar 23, 2023, 11:12 AM
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polyp. Doc said it was fine, but put me on the 5 year plan anyway.
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Lot o points [163012]
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Docs like the 5 year plan
Mar 23, 2023, 9:11 PM
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much better.
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All-In [43012]
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Nice. Mine was pretty similar. AND i now have color photos
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Mar 23, 2023, 11:14 AM
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of the inside of my colon. Check my OF for more.
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All-In [47856]
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I've had 2...10 years apart. The 1st one was on an epidureal
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Mar 23, 2023, 11:16 AM
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which was painful but I got to watch. The 2nd was under a general anesthesia. Much easier
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Heisman Winner [135795]
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Is this just a long-winded way of saying that you would
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Mar 23, 2023, 11:17 AM
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rather be asleep when people put things in your butt?
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All-In [38270]
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12-14 second fart?
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Mar 23, 2023, 11:18 AM
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.
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CU Medallion [56227]
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Talk about long-winded.***
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Mar 23, 2023, 11:21 AM
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All-In [27253]
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fwiw, I was pretty excited about getting mine, namely for
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Mar 23, 2023, 11:27 AM
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the fact that ass cancer is thing you want to catch early, and any excuse to go up in there is worth it.
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Heisman Winner [105753]
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Re: Colonoscopy Wrapup
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Mar 23, 2023, 11:35 AM
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CU Medallion [66287]
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JFC Greenr, the speed at which that gif loads is even slower
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Mar 23, 2023, 11:41 AM
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than both Peter and Andy Ford
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Heisman Winner [105753]
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Great reference
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Mar 23, 2023, 11:45 AM
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and it's one of those movies that I changed the filename to end with "dot gee eye eff" so it takes a minute. It loads fine on my end though, maybe because I use it often my computer has it cached.
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CU Medallion [66287]
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I also have a Dell Potatotop
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Mar 23, 2023, 11:47 AM
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I am viewing it on
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CU Medallion [66287]
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I guess this was 19B this week
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Mar 23, 2023, 11:45 AM
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.
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Heisman Winner [138157]
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I can't decide if this is hot or not.***
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Mar 23, 2023, 11:49 AM
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All-In [27253]
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WIPE RIGHT***
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Mar 23, 2023, 11:54 AM
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Legend [17838]
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Hall of Famer [22002]
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I can't remember if I told this story bout mine or not
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Mar 23, 2023, 11:47 AM
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but when you go in, you know they give you the feel good droogz? Well she hooked me up, and gave me the droogz. And mannnnnnnn lemme tell ya I was feeling great. I was just shooting the breeze w/ my wife and the two nurses. Went on for like 10-15 min. Felt like I should walk in the doors of a panic show or something.
Well finally I knocked out I guess.
Nurse told my wife...good lord he was supposed to be passed out like 20 minutes ago. We gave him enough juice to knock out a baby elephant.
I reckon my tolerance was built up pretty good...this was maybe like 5 or 6 years ago when we were still turrin fairly regularly as young professionals/newlyweds.
The farts when I woke up were righteous too. All in all it wasn't bad, sounds like what you wrote haha.
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Heisman Winner [138157]
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The question is,
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Mar 23, 2023, 11:51 AM
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what did you actually SAY in the presence of your wife during that 20 minutes? You obviously remember it as being harmless, but there was probably some questionable material sprinkled in there that the wife is sitting on for when you REALLY fugg something up.
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Hall of Famer [22002]
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I don't recall but I don't think
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Mar 23, 2023, 11:55 AM
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it was too crazy. She's got enough in her magazine to hit me with if she needs it haha
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CU Medallion [58555]
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Love it!
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Mar 23, 2023, 11:57 AM
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Sounds just like mine late last year, which was about my 4th one, I think. The day before prep has gotten better, it seems. No longer an all-day thing, more like half-day, and seemed less intense (but still a total clean out, squirting water out yo butt like a fire hose clean out) to me. And yes, that anesthesia is magic. I was going to see how long I could stay awake after they started last time, but it couldn't have been more than 2 seconds. They told me I was going to get sleepy, and literally one second later I was in recovery. Amazing. And I swear, next time I am recording some of those post-op, trombone practice farts and posting on here.
Anyway, hope you get a good report - let us know.
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Orange Blooded [2821]
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Did you have a post anesthesia buzz?
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Mar 23, 2023, 12:03 PM
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Blissfully farting at vicious biscuit sounds pretty nice.
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Heisman Winner [138157]
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Not really. Seems like it took maybe 5 minutes from waking
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Mar 23, 2023, 12:17 PM
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up to mostly shaking it off. I did repeat what the doc told me to the wife when I got home, which I had already told her on the phone, so I guess there were still some cobwebs.
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All-In [40957]
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a biopsy does not tell you if its
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Mar 23, 2023, 1:14 PM
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Pre cancerous. It only tells you if its cancerous. If its predunculated and looks like a stalk with a head on it, its precancerous. If its sessile and flat it is not precancerous.
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Oculus Spirit [81250]
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In the bigger picture, your entire body is "pre-cancerous"***
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Mar 23, 2023, 1:18 PM
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Associate AD [828]
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All-In [40957]
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Heisman Winner [119877]
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I’ve had 2, noob…
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Mar 23, 2023, 2:00 PM
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And I’m on the 10 year plan, next one in 3 yrs
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All-TigerNet [12203]
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propofol is an awesome drug
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Mar 23, 2023, 3:39 PM
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unless you are Michael Jackson and your "doctor" is using it wrong
just started to become popular back when I was in residency (been awhile ago, and no we didn't bleed people to get rid of the humors). Had to limit use because was like a grand an IV of it or something stupid
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All-In [30900]
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You might not poop for days
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Mar 23, 2023, 5:10 PM
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I found out it’s a 4 day stretch from empty to poop for me when I had mine done last year. Makes me consider doing that cleanse before a road trip or flight just to avoid the plane and roadside toilets.
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Lot o points [156110]
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On the hole, it sounds awesome.***
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Mar 23, 2023, 5:24 PM
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All-In [45918]
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Had 3.....
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Mar 23, 2023, 8:28 PM
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Cuz old. Prep is heck. First one horrible. Second I was concious the whole time. Third was ok except shyatt pants on way home. Messy. all small non c polyps.
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