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Replies: 74
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Paw Master [17549]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2006
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Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 5, 2017, 1:26 PM
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"Our SEC D is so fly!
We got that new ex-Baylor guy!"
Oh, Auburn, that's cute.
Go strap up your suit -
We'll choke out your War Eagle cry.
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Scout Team [186]
TigerPulse: 50%
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 5, 2017, 2:08 PM
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We breakout our new offensive concauction
a big part being the old school option
Got a brand new crew
Gotta do something new
Cause Kelly Bryant is not Deshaun Watson
??????????
Go Clemson Tigers! ??????
?????
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Legend [6700]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 5, 2017, 3:59 PM
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Couple things:
1 - What is a "concauction?"
2 - We don't run the "old school option"
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Scout Team [186]
TigerPulse: 50%
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 5, 2017, 11:54 PM
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> Couple things:
>
> 1 - What is a "concauction?"
concoction**
> 2 - We don't run the "old school option"
The old school option is part of the new concoction that we will be breaking out vs Auburn. We have ran it in the past with Tajh & Deshaun, but I think we use it a lot more with Kelly Bryant at Quarterback & run reverses & option passes off of it.
Thanks for asking. Sorry for the confusion
It's gonna be MURDER with KB2 & Feaster
jmo
Go Clemson Tigers!
???
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Orange Elite [5491]
TigerPulse: 89%
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 6, 2017, 9:46 PM
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Dang you tell'em coot
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All-TigerNet [5618]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 5, 2017, 2:28 PM
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Next up the dehydrated kitties
For whom Clemson will show no pity.
Passing it through the air,
Rushing without a care
I hope we score in the fitties!
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Paw Master [17549]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2006
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 5, 2017, 3:01 PM
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When Wilkins and Lawrence get busy,
We'll see Mr. Stidham look dizzy.
The wrath they beget
Will certainly set
The SEC-philes in a tizzy.
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All-TigerNet [12506]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 5, 2017, 3:06 PM
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There juance was a man from Alabama
His wife would let me ram her
His name was Gus Malzahn
His wife's brain was gone
Just like auburnfan's gramma
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Paw Master [17549]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2006
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 5, 2017, 7:45 PM
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Let's posit a possible theory -
Let's say that our defense gets weary.
Y'all might score a few,
But here's what we'll do -
Hit Renfrow and Cain 'til you're teary.
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Paw Master [17549]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2006
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 5, 2017, 8:50 PM
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There's War Eagle blood in the water;
A Tiger shark's nose says, "What's odder?
The scent of BirdCats
Or, rather, like rats,
How Auburn pays off to stay hotter?"
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Paw Master [17549]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Posts: 10158
Joined: 2006
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 5, 2017, 9:03 PM
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I'll see your six points and a half
And raise you six more! What a laugh!
For them to suggest
Their D is the best?
We're all gonna say, "What a gaffe."
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All-In [27366]
TigerPulse: 100%
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There once were some Tigers from the plains,
Sep 5, 2017, 9:26 PM
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Who had big egos but thin blood in their veins.
They came to Clemson all braggin’,
With their tongues all a waggin’
But left here with just bruises and sprains.
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Paw Master [17549]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2006
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Re: There once were some Tigers from the plains,
Sep 5, 2017, 9:30 PM
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Lemme fix your syllabic meter there, Bengal:
The Tigers who hail from the Plains,
With egos, though thin-blooded veins,
To Clemson came braggin',
Their tongues all a-waggin',
But left with just bruises and sprains.
Message was edited by: bdrechs
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1st Rounder [643]
TigerPulse: 98%
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 5, 2017, 9:54 PM
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That Stidham is one cocky feller
But this weekend he's gonna turn yeller
When he starts to bleed
He'll beg and he'll plead
"Please, let me go back to Baylor!"
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1st Rounder [643]
TigerPulse: 98%
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 5, 2017, 10:08 PM
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Auburn, you'd better be wary
Our defense is gonna be scary
Your O-line's no shield
To save your backfield
Your cute little QB we'll bury!
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Paw Master [17549]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 5, 2017, 10:10 PM
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When Lawrence comes out of his stance,
Ol' Stidham might Coot in his pants!
He'll tremble and quake;
His poise we will shake.
Hey Dex, practice your endzone dance!
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Rival Killer [3076]
TigerPulse: 100%
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There once was a man from Nantucket***
Sep 5, 2017, 10:18 PM
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1st Rounder [643]
TigerPulse: 98%
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 5, 2017, 10:22 PM
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That auburnfan brags and he beams
Their kids are all 5 stars, it seems
He won't understand
'Til the game's out of hand
That Clemson's a true 5 star TEAM!
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Paw Master [17549]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2006
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 5, 2017, 10:45 PM
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It's more than just X's and O's
When Clemson the 'Burn overthrows.
At night in Death Valley
A deafening rally
Will swallow War Birds, beak to toes.
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Paw Master [17549]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2006
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 5, 2017, 10:51 PM
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Ask Coots why they're so broken-hearted;
Why Sooners' great prowess has parted.
A beatdown by us
And subsequent fuss
Hath many a dumpster fire started.
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Game Changer [1891]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 5, 2017, 11:25 PM
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The SEC tigers think they're so regal
But we all know they're not the real bengals
No doubt they be fake
Ain't even got a lake
Bunch of whirlybirds, not even war #### eagles.
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Paw Master [17549]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2006
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 6, 2017, 6:59 AM
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The Light App is great and all that,
But really the field's where it's at.
Ol' Stidham gets lit up,
And Tiger fans get up
To cheer the superior Cat.
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Clemson Conqueror [11128]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 6, 2017, 7:53 AM
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The wannabe Tigers come in off the plains,
Time and time again, their offense has no gains.
Christian & Big Dex keep putting Stidham on his butt,
And the War Eagles seem to be stuck in a rut.
They leave town with only aches and pains.
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Ultimate Clemson Legend [98510]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 6, 2017, 8:02 AM
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Kids wanted to play in Alabamer
So they could stay out of the slammer
AU they did ride
all full of their pride
Till they faced Dabo and his hammer.
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Paw Master [17549]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2006
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 6, 2017, 8:26 AM
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Hey Plainsmen - don't break out your Charmin.
Your pending defeat Dabo's warmin'.
Reserve your TP
For "@ Missouri" -
Those Tigers won't do as much harmin'.
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Paw Master [17549]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2006
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 6, 2017, 9:00 AM
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The story of Little Gus Horner:
The Bama-Lite legacy mourner.
From Clemson, his thumb
Is gonna go numb
Hitchhiking in shame to Toom's Corner.
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Orange Blooded [3311]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Auburn Limerick
Sep 6, 2017, 9:42 AM
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I don't do Limericks.
Auburn sucks.
Clemson 31 - Auburn 17
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1st Rounder [643]
TigerPulse: 98%
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Re: Auburn Limerick
Sep 6, 2017, 9:26 PM
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At lim'ricks I'm only so so
But Auburn just sucks, we all know
They'll score seventeen
But get their clocks cleaned
And lose by two scores to Dabo!
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Paw Master [17549]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2006
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 6, 2017, 10:20 AM
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The forming, the rhyming, the rhythm -
The limericks? Man, I can sure spit em.
But I cannot do
What Wilkins and crew
Are gonna unleash on young Stidham.
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CU Medallion [18892]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2003
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good one***
Sep 6, 2017, 10:37 AM
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1st Rounder [643]
TigerPulse: 98%
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 6, 2017, 9:40 PM
[ in reply to Re: Auburn Week Limericks ] |
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Old Eminem couldn't do better
You've got your rhymes down to the letter
'Bout Wilkins and crew
You speaketh it true
The havoc they'll wreak when unfettered
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Paw Master [17549]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Posts: 10158
Joined: 2006
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 6, 2017, 12:16 PM
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Malzahn and his wife - quite a pair!
One's got some "straight crazy" to spare.
The other one's nice -
Some sugar, some spice,
But she has the lengthier hair.
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Paw Master [17549]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Posts: 10158
Joined: 2006
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 6, 2017, 1:02 PM
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There's still a bright future ahead!
Your stronger Big Brother in Red
Won't make it unbeaten,
And that fact should sweeten
The bitter pill you're gon' be fed.
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Paw Master [17549]
TigerPulse: 100%
51
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Joined: 2006
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 6, 2017, 1:40 PM
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Although we have questions on O,
The line play's more skilled than befo'.
This means that no matter
Which QB is badder,
Our backs are gon' run up the sco'.
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1st Rounder [643]
TigerPulse: 98%
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 6, 2017, 9:33 PM
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Our questions on O have been solved
The defense is always involved
When all's done and said
We'll come out ahead
Once the outcome is resolved.
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1st Rounder [643]
TigerPulse: 98%
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 6, 2017, 9:51 PM
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Correction to last line:
*when clearly the outcome's resolved!
Sorry, must have ministroked with the cadence on the first version of that last line.
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Orange Blooded [3247]
TigerPulse: 93%
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I hate it when that happens.***
Sep 7, 2017, 8:48 AM
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Paw Master [17549]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Posts: 10158
Joined: 2006
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 7, 2017, 8:54 AM
[ in reply to Re: Auburn Week Limericks ] |
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Clear up that cardiovascular system, brotha.
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Paw Master [17549]
TigerPulse: 100%
51
Posts: 10158
Joined: 2006
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 6, 2017, 2:23 PM
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Pull any and all off suspension.
Go strap your jocks tight for retention.
Bring out your big guns.
The champs? We're the ones.
We'll throat-punch your boys, no pretension.
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Paw Master [17549]
TigerPulse: 100%
51
Posts: 10158
Joined: 2006
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 6, 2017, 4:25 PM
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The thing about Auburn's War Eagles
Is they like to bypass what's legal.
Despite sneaky cheatin',
They still will get beaten.
They'll blame it on Irma and seagulls.
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Paw Master [17549]
TigerPulse: 100%
51
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Joined: 2006
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 6, 2017, 8:30 PM
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It's more than just home field advantage.
Death Valley at dark's hard to manage
When, in its own right,
It roars in the night
Exceeding capacity fannage.
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1st Rounder [643]
TigerPulse: 98%
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 6, 2017, 8:45 PM
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While, Malzahn, you've got fine recruits,
Your labor has yielded few fruits.
I hate to be terse
But it's gonna get worse
Because soon you'll be coaching the coots!
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1st Rounder [643]
TigerPulse: 98%
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 6, 2017, 9:04 PM
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Quite soon we will face men of Steele
But they don't have the true temper seal
When Steele melts like butter
We'll cut through the clutter
Only Venable men are for real!
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Paw Master [17549]
TigerPulse: 100%
51
Posts: 10158
Joined: 2006
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 6, 2017, 10:19 PM
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According to Finebaum and others,
Our offense will cry for their mothers!
Big, strong, scary Auburn
Has nary a gall-durn
Fat chance as its hopes Clemson smothers.
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1st Rounder [643]
TigerPulse: 98%
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 7, 2017, 12:48 AM
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Yep, Finebaum he hasn't a clue,
An idiot hack through and through.
Just what will it take
To show we're not fake?
P'raps Auburn's destruction will do!
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Paw Master [17549]
TigerPulse: 100%
51
Posts: 10158
Joined: 2006
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 7, 2017, 7:12 AM
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Cam Newton's had so much to choose -
"Which stealing excuse should I use?"
But this one's in stone;
The clemency's gone.
Your boys from the Plains will just lose.
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Clemson Conqueror [11128]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Posts: 13201
Joined: 2014
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 7, 2017, 8:22 AM
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Auburn comes to town, trying to morph
Into something more than one of the SEC dwarfs.
We've beaten their best,
Not afraid of the rest.
We'll send them home, full of remorse.
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Clemson Conqueror [11128]
TigerPulse: 100%
46
Posts: 13201
Joined: 2014
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 7, 2017, 8:39 AM
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Looking forward to Auburn coming to town,
They think they can avoid a big beatdown.
We'll be delighted,
And even more excited,
When Big Dex is finished smacking them around.
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Paw Master [17549]
TigerPulse: 100%
51
Posts: 10158
Joined: 2006
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 7, 2017, 8:49 AM
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You think Pettway's better than Scarb'rough?
Ol' Bo his boys weren't on par, bro.
What Venables draws up
Might shrivel your balls up!
We might see Malzahn smoke a Marlb'ro!
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Clemson Conqueror [11128]
TigerPulse: 100%
46
Posts: 13201
Joined: 2014
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 7, 2017, 8:56 AM
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When those boys from the plains step into the Valley,
Our Tigers will be ready, and shall not dally.
As our play count approaches ninety-nine,
The war eagle starts dragging his behind,
And Dabo leads our Tigers to a grand finale!
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Orange Blooded [3247]
TigerPulse: 93%
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 7, 2017, 8:57 AM
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Ol' Dabo said "Bring your own guts!
Don't give me no ifs, ands, or buts!
When we run down the hill,
It's time for the kill.
So get after those kitties and RUTS!"
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Clemson Conqueror [11128]
TigerPulse: 100%
46
Posts: 13201
Joined: 2014
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 7, 2017, 10:10 AM
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The Tigers from the Plains come to play,
But our Cats put on an awesome display!
Our offense rolls,
As the D patrols,
And poor Auburn leaves town full of dismay!
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Orange Blooded [2567]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 7, 2017, 9:59 AM
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Like Bob Knight throwing a chair
Guz Malzahn's wife's sure to scare
All women and men
and those without sin
Well, at least she does it with flair
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Clemson Conqueror [11128]
TigerPulse: 100%
46
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Joined: 2014
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 7, 2017, 10:01 AM
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Christian and Big Dex keep making the plays,
And soon Stidham will be left in a daze.
Sack after sack,
They cut him no slack.
As the hometeam Tigers continue to amaze.
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Paw Master [17549]
TigerPulse: 100%
51
Posts: 10158
Joined: 2006
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 7, 2017, 6:13 PM
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Tell Gus and his boys to bring boots,
Some salve, and their hats and rainsuits.
The rain stuff's for Irma.
The salve's for the burn-a
From when they get spanked like the Coots.
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Paw Master [17549]
TigerPulse: 100%
51
Posts: 10158
Joined: 2006
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 7, 2017, 6:51 PM
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So auburnfan thinks it's a toss?
Lay off the insanity sauce!
Can we not be thanked
That Clemson's high ranked?
He'll call it a "quality loss."
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1st Rounder [643]
TigerPulse: 98%
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 7, 2017, 9:37 PM
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Auburn fans meet Kelly Bryant
Clemson's new quarterback giant
"Watson's not here!"
You'll say with a cheer
'Til Kelly rules you like a tyrant!
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Paw Master [17549]
TigerPulse: 100%
51
Posts: 10158
Joined: 2006
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 7, 2017, 10:38 PM
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Forgive me if it seems absurd,
But I still don't get why a bird
Gets hailed with their tiger.
Would it not be righter -
A smelly, offensive brown turd?
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Paw Master [17549]
TigerPulse: 100%
51
Posts: 10158
Joined: 2006
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 8, 2017, 12:34 AM
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So let's say the weather turns sour,
With winds 81 miles an hour.
Will Death Valley's light
Cut off in the night?
No, it runs on Oculus power.
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Clemson Conqueror [11128]
TigerPulse: 100%
46
Posts: 13201
Joined: 2014
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 8, 2017, 12:57 AM
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Christian and Big Dex keep making the plays,
And soon Stidham will be left in a daze.
Sack after sack,
They cut him no slack.
As the hometeam Tigers continue to amaze.
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Paw Master [17549]
TigerPulse: 100%
51
Posts: 10158
Joined: 2006
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 8, 2017, 6:53 AM
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"Oh, War Eagle, what shall we do?
A mighty big storm is a-brew!
It's wrath, full-employed,
Will see us destroyed!"
Hey guys, there's a hurricane, too...
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Paw Master [17549]
TigerPulse: 100%
51
Posts: 10158
Joined: 2006
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 8, 2017, 7:18 AM
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The Oculus beckons here, bud.
It cares not for wind, rain, or flood.
It wants fresh opponents -
Strong ones are a bonus.
We'll feed it some War Eagle blood.
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Paw Master [17549]
TigerPulse: 100%
51
Posts: 10158
Joined: 2006
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 8, 2017, 8:11 AM
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Which Tiger gets tossed by its tail?
The one whose new QB will fail.
The nation will watch it -
J. Stidham will botch it.
The orange and purple prevail.
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Paw Master [17549]
TigerPulse: 100%
51
Posts: 10158
Joined: 2006
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 8, 2017, 11:02 AM
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So auburnfan thinks there's a chance -
What good fan would not take his stance?
For Auburn, it's futile.
We'll, public and brutal,
Shank down their proverbial pants.
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Paw Master [17549]
TigerPulse: 100%
51
Posts: 10158
Joined: 2006
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 8, 2017, 11:51 AM
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Ol' Feaster is ready to roll,
And Etienne they won't control.
If Renfrow throws blocks,
They'll get out the box
And blaze past the line at the goal.
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Paw Master [17549]
TigerPulse: 100%
51
Posts: 10158
Joined: 2006
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 8, 2017, 12:47 PM
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We're giddy as heck in the lead-up.
Can we get this kickoff to speed-up?
Coach Dabo and squad
Are ready, by God,
To see to it Auburn gets beat-up.
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Paw Master [17549]
TigerPulse: 100%
51
Posts: 10158
Joined: 2006
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 8, 2017, 3:58 PM
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When forces of nature come at us,
We flee so that nothing will splat us.
When Auburn heads south,
Post punch-in-the-mouth,
Will they receive refugee status?
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Paw Master [17549]
TigerPulse: 100%
51
Posts: 10158
Joined: 2006
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 8, 2017, 4:15 PM
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What I'm real upset about, mostly,
Is Finebaum, all regal and host-ly,
Says he doesn't like us.
Oh no! Won't that psych us??
I'm sure Dabo's lookin' real ghostly.
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Paw Master [17549]
TigerPulse: 100%
51
Posts: 10158
Joined: 2006
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 8, 2017, 6:24 PM
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So, how will Malzahn protect Stidham
When WIlkins and Dex aim to get him?
All he'll hear's the whistles
Of heat-seeking missles
Before the behemoths come hit him!
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Paw Master [17549]
TigerPulse: 100%
51
Posts: 10158
Joined: 2006
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 8, 2017, 6:49 PM
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Gus can't stop an or'nge locomotive.
Our defense will kill with one motive:
Lined up for Atlanta,
We'll do what they can't-a,
And leave Auburn wishing they could've.
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1st Rounder [636]
TigerPulse: 95%
21
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There once was a girl from Nantucket
Sep 8, 2017, 6:52 PM
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...GO Tigers!
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Paw Master [17549]
TigerPulse: 100%
51
Posts: 10158
Joined: 2006
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 9, 2017, 3:18 AM
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All's quiet on Clemson-game-eves;
No sounds but the crickets and leaves.
The "Thing in These Hills"
Will roar with such thrills
When Auburn their spankin' receives.
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Paw Master [17549]
TigerPulse: 100%
51
Posts: 10158
Joined: 2006
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 9, 2017, 8:25 AM
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Well, Tigertown's busy and buzzin',
With fans crowding in by the dozen.
For one to suggest
This scene ain't the best?
That's kinda like kissing your cousin.
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Paw Master [17549]
TigerPulse: 100%
51
Posts: 10158
Joined: 2006
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 9, 2017, 3:09 PM
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These tailgates today sure are hearty,
But don't for the kickoff be tardy!
The thunderous cheers
Confusing their ears
Will ring in the post-vict'ry party!
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Paw Master [17549]
TigerPulse: 100%
51
Posts: 10158
Joined: 2006
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Re: Auburn Week Limericks
Sep 9, 2017, 4:11 PM
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When Jackson gets back to Kentucky
He'll realize the Tar Heels were sucky.
Turn on tonight's stuff -
Lavar, they were fluff!
Next week your boys won't be so lucky.
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