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Clemson Sports Icon [52677]
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taking 2 days off for daughter-of's wedding Sat. Working on my Welcome speech
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Mar 27, 2025, 9:06 AM
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So far:
Thankyou for coming. Please enjoy all this stuff I wrote some big checks for. The groom is a halfway decent guy, similar to the rest of his family. I hope the marriage lasts long enough to make this all worthwhile. Seems like she could have done better, but I guess not. Daughter's Clemson grad friends seem to have turned out really well, you others, maybe not so much.
What else should I add?
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Paw Warrior [4698]
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Re: taking 2 days off for daughter-of's wedding Sat. Working on my Welcome speech
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Mar 27, 2025, 9:10 AM
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Definitely slip in some references to junk size and grooms moms staring at said junk.
Also equate your financial liquidity to said junks ability to produce "large liquidity".
Always worked for me 😀
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Orange Immortal [64116]
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You need some airing of grievances. Be specific.***
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Mar 27, 2025, 9:11 AM
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Clemson Sports Icon [52677]
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well, the groom's mom has been kind of a pain. I'll work on that.***
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Mar 27, 2025, 9:19 AM
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Ultimate Clemson Legend [102087]
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pics
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Mar 27, 2025, 9:23 AM
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Clemson Sports Icon [52677]
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and to the groom's mom,
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Mar 27, 2025, 10:18 AM
[ in reply to well, the groom's mom has been kind of a pain. I'll work on that.*** ] |
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I can see where he got that chunky build, and that nose. Thankyou for all of the great ideas you had for me to write checks for. Sorry we didn't choose to do any of them. And those you offered to pay for, sorry we vetoed them because they would have looked really cheap and low class, like your family, and we didn't want to drag down the look of all of our ideas. You can use them on your daughter's wedding.
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Clemson Sports Icon [55060]
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Re: and to the groom's mom,
Mar 28, 2025, 10:00 AM
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Game Day Hero [4473]
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Have you challenged the groom's father to a wrestling match yet?
Mar 28, 2025, 10:54 AM
[ in reply to well, the groom's mom has been kind of a pain. I'll work on that.*** ] |
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If not, that's perfect. Wait until the speech proper before you divulge your intentions there. Catch him off guard. Maybe he'll even be a little toasted by then with slower reaction times.
It's the perfect--and perhaps only--opportunity to assert your dominance over the entire pride.
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Clemson Sports Icon [52095]
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Top TigerNet [30321]
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You could sing Van Halen's "Why can't this be love"***
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Mar 27, 2025, 9:16 AM
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Top TigerNet [30321]
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You do need to commend them for not getting married during football season.***
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Mar 27, 2025, 9:23 AM
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Paw Master [16286]
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The key to a happy marriage is to keep the man satisfied in the kitchen
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Mar 27, 2025, 9:37 AM
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and in the bedroom, but you know your daughter can't cook for ####.
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Top TigerNet [30321]
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That is someone's daughter :|***
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Mar 27, 2025, 9:38 AM
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Paw Master [16286]
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"I was hoping my daughter would've married for money, but
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Mar 27, 2025, 9:42 AM
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I'm glad at least she settled for some nice, down to earth, folks like yall."
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Oculus Spirit [41474]
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Re: taking 2 days off for daughter-of's wedding Sat. Working on my Welcome speech
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Mar 27, 2025, 9:54 AM
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Oculus Spirit [41474]
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Re: taking 2 days off for daughter-of's wedding Sat. Working on my Welcome speech
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Mar 27, 2025, 10:00 AM
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TigerNet Icon [151359]
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Clemson Sports Icon [52095]
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Maid of honor did a speech at the bride's second wedding and started out with
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Mar 27, 2025, 10:03 AM
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"welcome back everyone"
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TigerNet Immortal [175355]
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How about a spoken word recitation of "Love the one you're with"***
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Mar 27, 2025, 10:05 AM
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Top TigerNet [32278]
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Re: taking 2 days off for daughter-of's wedding Sat. Working on my Welcome speech
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Mar 27, 2025, 10:11 AM
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I'd like to… I'd like to say something, I’ve prepared. Tonight.
Hello. How about that ride in? I guess that’s why they call it Sin City. Ha ha. You guys might not know this, but i consider myself a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one man wolf pack. But when my daughter brought the groom home i knew he was one of my own! And my wolf pack, it grew by one. So there were, there were two of us in the wolf pack. I was alone in the wolf pack, and then the groom joined in later. And six months ago, when the groom introduced me to you guys, I thought “wait a second, could it be?” And now i know for sure, I just added more guys to my wolf pack. All of us wolves, running around gods country together, In south carolina , looking for strippers and cocaine. So tonight, i make a toast.
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Clemson Sports Icon [52363]
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My daughter is getting married next June ('26)
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Mar 27, 2025, 10:17 AM
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I fully intend to plagiarize this.
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Clemson Icon [25570]
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Gotta include a toast to golden showers***
Mar 28, 2025, 9:42 AM
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Oculus Spirit [40536]
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End with...
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Mar 28, 2025, 10:35 AM
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"so whether life is squirting on you, or taking a giant piss. Just remember, in the end, it's all the same."
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All-Time Great [90293]
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Make sure to let him no there are no returns***
Mar 28, 2025, 10:32 AM
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