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Replies: 13
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Ring of Honor [23896]
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TigerNet Elite [74958]
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Re: Tip-toe into Tuesday Dad Jokes!
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Jun 3, 2025, 7:26 AM
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Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?
Her: Awww... Yes!!!
Me: Good then stay 92.96 million miles away from me
A police officer attempts to stop a car for speeding and the guy gradually increases his speed until he's topping 100 mph. The man eventually realizes he can't escape and finally pulls over. The cop approaches the car and says, "It's been a long day and my shift is almost over, so if you can give me a good excuse for your behavior, I'll let you go." The guy thinks for a few seconds and then says, "My wife ran away with a cop about a week ago. I thought you might be that officer trying to give her back!"
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Oculus Spirit [42021]
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Re: Tip-toe into Tuesday Dad Jokes!
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Jun 3, 2025, 7:29 AM
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What country’s capital is growing the fastest?
Ireland - everyday it’s Dublin!!
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TigerNet Elite [74958]
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Re: Tip-toe into Tuesday Dad Jokes!
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Jun 3, 2025, 7:31 AM
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Is this presumptive...or assumptive reading: I hate waterlemons! You that read wrong! You read that wrong, too! This is how you fail exams! 
What is typoglycemia?
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
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Dynasty Maker [3596]
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Re: Tip-toe into Tuesday Dad Jokes!
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Jun 3, 2025, 7:39 AM
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I thought it was the dryer shrinking my clothes...turns out it was the refrigerator all along! :0)
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Ultimate Tiger [35041]
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Re: Tip-toe into Tuesday Dad Jokes!
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Jun 3, 2025, 7:47 AM
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A scientific study claims fertility is hereditary. If your parents didn’t have children, there is a very good chance that you won’t either.
Imagine the things Wile E. Coyote could have done if he had access to Amazon Prime.
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TigerNet Immortal [171576]
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Its a 5 minute walk from my house to the neighborhood pub but
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Jun 3, 2025, 8:15 AM
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a 45 minute walk back home.
The difference is staggering
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Ultimate Tiger [35031]
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The lawyer asked his dentist to give him a retainer.
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Jun 3, 2025, 8:44 AM
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So, true story, no dad joke:
I went to the dentist yesterday morning (it wasn't two-thirty) to get a crown replaced and a cavity filled that they found under it at a cleaning and check-up appointment last month. But when he took the crown off, the tooth was too decayed to fill, so it had to be broken in two and pulled and stitched. All the tension gave me a headache and when the numbness wore off, the tooth was bleeding, sore, and tender and hurt more than reading some of the comments on here after the ballgame Sunday.
But what hurt more was when he told me the options were a bridge ($3k+ out-of-pocket) and an implant ($4k+ out-of-pocket). My insurance pays about half so that means they're getting twice that! I had sticker shock for sure.  ( (borrowed the keyboard emoji from Thoughtful but turned the smile upside down). Anyone in here have a bridge or implant? How is it?
Sorry about the long, boring story so I'll throw in a couple of dental dad jokes:
If a kid has 25 candy bars and they eat 22 of them, what do they have? Cavities.
My teeth were stained, so the dentist asked me, “do you smoke or drink coffee?” I told him I drink it.
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Ring of Honor [23896]
TigerPulse: 100%
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You might should take a dental vacation...
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Jun 3, 2025, 9:13 AM
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https://www.expatden.com/costa-rica/dentist-costa-rica/
Just a guess, but it seems dental insurance is only insuring dentists' existence. It quit being worthwhile thirty years ago, it seems. Not sure why I have it as a quasi-retiree. For the tag-along vision, apparently!
Message was edited by: Salty55®
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Ultimate Tiger [35041]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: You might should take a dental vacation...
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Jun 3, 2025, 1:54 PM
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When I was contemplating retirement, I went to the dentist for my semi-annual cleaning and they also took x-rays. I had dental insurance through the state of SC because I was working at Clemson. My payment after insurance was somewhere around $185. I asked them what the visit would have cost if I didn’t have insurance, just trying to gauge how much it would cost if I retired. They said it would have been $135. It would have cost me LESS if I didn’t have insurance. Needless to say, this didn’t deter me from retiring. What a scam. The insurance industry is what is wrong with health care in this country.
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Dynasty Maker [3596]
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Re: The lawyer asked his dentist to give him a retainer.
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Jun 3, 2025, 9:15 AM
[ in reply to The lawyer asked his dentist to give him a retainer. ] |
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Yeah, nothing is cheap anymore. I don't have any dental work other than fillings, so I am no help there, but for an extra grand (and if my bones were solid) I would go for the implant. I have known a few people with bridges and according to them, they are an annoyance with food getting stuck in there.
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Ultimate Clemson Legend [102539]
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lol***
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Jun 3, 2025, 9:47 AM
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Letterman [184]
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Re: Tip-toe into Tuesday Dad Jokes!
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Jun 3, 2025, 3:34 PM
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If you're attracted to both men and women, but neither are attracted to you what does that make you?
Bi-yourself.
Every morning I leave the house and tell my family I'm going for a run, but I never go.
It's a running joke.
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Ring of Honor [23896]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Welcome aboard!
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Jun 3, 2025, 5:00 PM
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Bi-yourself!! Nice! 
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