American parking lots are a lawless, dystopian hellscape.

Feb 21, 2025, 1:43 PM

It's where common sense and basic human decency go to die. Our society would greatly benefit from remedial lessons in parking lot navigation and etiquette.

If there's one thing that's gonna push me to exact vigilante justice, it's the MFers who park in the fire lane because they're "just running into the store real quick." As opposed to the rest of us who are establishing residency. It's not like there aren't options here: there is an entire lot singularly dedicated to parking your car. Next time someone does this and leaves their car running, I may just hop in and drive away.

Today I popped across the river to PA to grab a few things. I entered at one end of the parking lot and the store I was going to was at the far end. There are stop signs along the way to protect crosswalks. I'm not talking about these things:

I'm talking big red octagons that say STOP and thick white lines on the pavement. I was approaching one of these and an oncoming car was stopped to let a couple septuagenarians hobble across the road. A dude in a huge truck behind the other car decided the rules don't apply to him, so he swung into my lane to go around them. Even if I hadn't been there this would've been a ###### up thing to do. I wasn't having it, so I sped up to block him, threw my hands up, looked him in the eye and slowly said, "What are you doing?" He put his window down, so apparently we were gonna have a conversation. He said, "They're stopped and I'm going around them!" I put my window down. "They're stopped because there's a stop sign at the crosswalk and people are crossing. And now you are blocking them." Just to drive the point home, the car behind them laid on the horn. Beautiful timing. He managed to squeak by me and said, "Jersey asshole!" and I went "Faaaaaaaaack you."

By the way, it takes a special kind of person who knows they're completely, 100% wrong and gets mad at the person who points it out. It's the same kinda person who has a micropenis and drives a land yacht.

Did I make this situation better? Probably not. Did that guy learn his lesson? Kinda doubt it. But something's gotta give here.

So if you're ever inspired to make a difference in the world, please do these simple things next time you go shopping: Have patience, stay to the right, park in an actual spot between the white lines, stop at stop signs, return your cart, and don't fuck with people from New Jersey. It's simple but it matters.

In the immortal words of Billy Butcher, don't be a cunt.

flag link

military_tech

thumb_down

thumb_up

I have found it interesting how people are actually surprised when I DO show common courtesy or in the event I act like a gentleman. Had a woman just beside herself when I offered her my chair when there were no others available. Seen more than one surprise when holding a door for someone.

Had a friend that went to West Point. They have to take a course in the social graces. I suppose the whole "officer and a gentleman" thing. He was surprised at how many guys in the class didn't know anything. When he was asked by his classmates how he knew all this stuff , he said, "I was raised in the south by my mother and father. You don't need a class, this is just what you do".

COMMON COURTESY PEOPLE.

American parking lots are a lawless, dystopian hellscape.

The only thing that would have been better

Also

Next time I'll be prepared.***

I would expect FBCoach to spell Porsche like that, not you***

ADHD gives

I think you now know that you could have definitely handled it better.

Re: American parking lots are a lawless, dystopian hellscape.

I got cursed at by a NY driver here in Simpleville. I stopped a light that was

Re: I got cursed at by a NY driver here in Simpleville. I stopped a light that was

It's not just parking lots, either.

Re: It's not just parking lots, either.

It makes sense that they would have a class like that at West Point because

Congratulations on receiving this poor person Care Award for your post

Man, I've been noticing and bemoaning one particular facet of your post

I really want a LED message board on my car to express my opinions and

I have been seriously thinking about this recently.

If it makes you feel any better

Guy probably saw a Polestar coming at him

It ain't any better once they get INSIDE the store. Just once, I would like to

TigerBoard POTD