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calling all lawyers, hunters, and joungers with a good sense of humor
General Boards - The Lounge
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Replies: 44
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calling all lawyers, hunters, and joungers with a good sense of humor

8

Oct 23, 2024, 2:02 PM
Reply

I'm declaring war on the deer in my neighborhood.

Them sombiches bout obliterated my azaleas that I worked so hard to get back in good shape. Despite my anger, my wife said I was over-reacting.

I actually went out w/ my bow drawn, ready to light one up in my yard, but the NY lady was at her mailbox. she didn't see me b/c she was trying to call the deer to her. I ain't see disbich in weeks.

anywho....

Well now...they dunnfucked up.

Woke up this mawn and they ate my little girls punkins. so NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW my wife be like:



so here's my pinch/rub/stickywickett....

in TN, technically, it's perfectly legal to shoot a deer on your property. confirmed this w/ local police, mayor's office, and TWRA.

HOWEVER

I live next to a buncha transplant libDeerTreehuggingfaggots who are FEEDING these cottam deer, and they could, theoretically call the cops on me for reckless endangerment.

now, I'm going to shoot a bow. and in my logic, if I shoot towards my house, then that negates the potential harm to neighbors. I have permission from other neighbor (not the NY or Cali people where the deer live) to shoot a deer on his property w/ my bow.

so my plan, befoer actually murcin these sombiches in broad daylight....

neighbor feeds deer (which is illegal) every day at 4 PM. so they usually stroll through my yard round, say 2.

I'm ghana go sit in my driveway, on my chair, w/ my bow in my lap, round say 230. hoping they come out to axe me what I'm doin.

Imma say I'm waiting on these deer you're feeding to walk through my yard, so I can shoot them right there and not be a danger to you or anyone in the neighborhood.

bit of a rant, lotta ramble, open to mroe discussion...my question is two fold:

1- Is this too much of an escalation?

2- How close am I to getting booked w/ a felony?

2024 orange level member flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

Why you messing with the deer?

10

Oct 23, 2024, 2:04 PM
Reply

Just shoot the fucking neighbor. A dead yankee is a good yankee.

2024 white level memberbadge-donor-10yr.jpg flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

MauldinT, where are you???


just in case this appears in my trial

5

Oct 23, 2024, 2:05 PM
Reply

I would never shoot my neighbor.

The dude is a great guy who said he doesn't care.

His wife is the one who is feeding them and is an "animal lover".

2024 orange level member flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

Make sure you invite them over at some point and serve her some

8

Oct 23, 2024, 2:08 PM
Reply

of the venison...

2024 white level memberbadge-donor-15yr.jpg flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

the wife is an absolute dime

2

Oct 23, 2024, 2:43 PM
Reply

and her daughter is probably one of the most attractive 20 somethings I've ever met in real life.

helps to be worth ~9 figures.

2024 orange level member flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

Your neighbor is worth north of $100M and you are thinking of shooting

4

Oct 23, 2024, 3:07 PM
Reply

deer that they feed right in front of them?

Something is amiss here or you are dumb as shit

$100M people have great lawyers on retainer, Monica

2024 purple level memberringofhonor-greenr.jpg flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

these colors don't run

3

Oct 23, 2024, 3:21 PM
Reply

from nodamnbody



2024 orange level member flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

I love animals

4

Oct 23, 2024, 2:19 PM [ in reply to just in case this appears in my trial ]
Reply

they are tasty

2024 orange level memberbadge-donor-10yr.jpg flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up


I'm a member of PITA.


Oct 23, 2024, 7:56 PM
Reply

People who Eat Tasty Animals.

2024 orange level memberbadge-donor-10yr.jpgringofhonor-clemsontiger1988-110.jpg flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

Fence in what you dont want eaten is simplest solution

2

Oct 23, 2024, 2:08 PM
Reply

With the drought we are in, deer are getting braver and eating stuff closer to houses.

flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

I noticed deer tracks last week in some dirt I had leveled for a pole barn

2

Oct 23, 2024, 2:10 PM
Reply

in my backyard, they had to have jumped a few fences to make it to my yard...

2024 white level memberbadge-donor-15yr.jpg flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

I can get within about 20 feet from them at my house before they run off

1

Oct 23, 2024, 2:21 PM [ in reply to Fence in what you dont want eaten is simplest solution ]
Reply

we have a group of about 12 that are in my yard daily. Next door neighbor feeds them.

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Re: calling all lawyers, hunters, and joungers with a good sense of humor

3

Oct 23, 2024, 2:09 PM
Reply

.


badge-donor-15yr.jpgringofhonor-willmo.jpg flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up




Cat on a tin roof, dogs in a pile,
Nothin' left to do but smile, smile, smile!!!!


I think you run the risk of a neighbor have a

4

Oct 23, 2024, 2:09 PM
Reply

really good lawyer on retainer.

It’s a far stretch to say reckless endangerment, I mean I have seen people drive cars through yards and not get that charge. But a good lawyer and a high chair in a big picture window and you could see issues.

If you kill it on the street, you will more than likely have to clean up the blood. On a road kill the County here will actually charge the town if the fire department doesn’t clean up the blood.

2024 orange level memberbadge-donor-05yr.jpg flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up


yeah, you bring up a good point

2

Oct 23, 2024, 2:36 PM
Reply

the husband is pretty well connected, as I've shared w/ you in the past.

so if I was to shoot towards my house, would that nullify the potential of a reckless endangerment charge?

I will only kill it in the patch of grass that's in a corner of my house (which happens to be their MF highway, and fave dinner spot). like the corner is almost like a cove so it's a perfect backstop...unless I hit a window then I got different problems lol.

2024 orange level member flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

Not an escalation

3

Oct 23, 2024, 2:11 PM
Reply

If you first hand this Yankee a printed copy of the statute that makes it illegal to feed said deer

Then you can prolly get away with shooting her

2024 purple level memberbadge-donor-05yr.jpg flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

If I am reading this right, feeding the deer is illegal but

6

Oct 23, 2024, 2:17 PM
Reply

YOUR OWN DAUGHTER IS FEEDING THE DEER PUMPKINS. ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE HER ARRESTED AS WELL???????

2024 purple level memberringofhonor-greenr.jpg flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

ya know, now that you mention it

5

Oct 23, 2024, 2:33 PM
Reply

quiet night, at home, during ovulation window?




2024 orange level member flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

LOCK HER UP! LOCK HER UP!...***

1

Oct 23, 2024, 7:57 PM [ in reply to If I am reading this right, feeding the deer is illegal but ]
Reply



2024 orange level memberbadge-donor-10yr.jpgringofhonor-clemsontiger1988-110.jpg flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

Re: calling all lawyers, hunters, and joungers with a good sense of humor

1

Oct 23, 2024, 2:18 PM
Reply

Pretty easy solution. Put a corn pile in your backyard out of line of sight from any neighbors. Sit outside w your bow around dawn and dusk.

2024 orange level member flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

I was just talking to my buddy about this

2

Oct 23, 2024, 2:22 PM
Reply

I can lure em into my yard (fenced), via some corn I got in my truck

got notification from camera deer in yard

shoot deer

can't run away if I close em in.

2024 orange level member flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

Its the same at the lake house.

1

Oct 23, 2024, 2:20 PM
Reply

All the neighbors feed them and I could easily set up a corn feeder and I hunt them w a crossbow on the back porch. My fear is that I shoot it and it runs into the neighbors yard and dies in front of them. Then I have to go retrieve said deer.

I also don’t need anymore venison as we get enough in Missouri every year. But I do really want to kill them, so badly.

2024 purple level member flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up


Here is an interesting video on how to capture a live one

4

Oct 23, 2024, 2:21 PM
Reply

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tyhzyHgI9I

flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up


Hey, I'm all three. A couple of thoughts:

4

Oct 23, 2024, 2:22 PM
Reply

1) Make absolutely dang sure you aren't violating any sort of municipal code. With bow you are probably fine. No HOA I assume?

2) If neighbor makes a stink, the illegal feeding of deer is some leverage for you.

3) Unless you are Hawkeye and Robin Hood's illegitimate son and shooting a ten pound arrow, consider what happens after the shot. That deer is going to run and probably run into another yard. Don't get hit with any sort of trespassing charge following it.

4) Is it worth getting permission in writing from friendly neighbor? Maybe overkill but you don't want him coming back with "I thought you were joking."

5) You might also consider telling the Cali/yankee neighbor ahead of time. Something like "I want you to know these deer are tearing up my property and I'm going to shoot them. If you don't want to see that, don't be out here." Probably a very very very longshot, but you don't want to get hit with some BS negligent/intentional infliction of emotional distress claim for slaughtering her pet deer.

Disclaimer: I'm not a TN lawyer, I'm not a TN hunter, and I find nothing funny about the dang Volunteers. This is just me spitballing.

flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

One other thought: if neighbor is feeding them, and you know this, make sure

4

Oct 23, 2024, 2:23 PM
Reply

you aren't running afoul of any anti-baiting laws.

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did not know that about you

3

Oct 23, 2024, 2:28 PM [ in reply to Hey, I'm all three. A couple of thoughts: ]
Reply

1 - good on that part via calls to regulatory agencies. we hunt in my neighborhood on Core / HOA owned property already that clears the 100 yard threshold for another dwelling.

Our county / city is having a MASSIVE problem w/ deer right now. they're encouraging people to kill them in any legal ways they can.

2- noted

3- I know. honestly, I'm not overly worried about retrieval. eff em. I'm exterminating pests at this point, but a nice knock could suffice. in all seriousness, they'll likely run to the core property to die

4- in writing, via text. screen shot and emailed to myself.

5- this actually may be the best pathway. could also open the door of them maybe letting me hunt their property like the old neighbors who lived here last year. highly doubtful, but at least it won't be a shock, and I can definitely say it's b/c they're feeding em.

for example, there's 9 bedding in the yard behind me waiting on her to put out feed. idk those neighbors so won't even try it.

2024 orange level member flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

As long as you know

1

Oct 23, 2024, 2:28 PM
Reply

Shooting one or two or even 10 isn't going to really help you too much.

There will be others.

flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up


Im tired of these MFing deer in my MFing yard!

3

Oct 23, 2024, 3:13 PM
Reply



2024 purple level member flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up


IF you really want to get rid of them and not be cruel

2

Oct 23, 2024, 2:29 PM
Reply

give them an overdose of heroin

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Locally Hated since 1992


They would have had a harder time eating this kinda pumpkin'

8

Oct 23, 2024, 2:31 PM
Reply

https://youtu.be/MK_S9wAfA0k

probably cost less too.

badge-donor-05yr.jpgringofhonor-aero.jpg flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

I live in South Carolina, so the law is different but...

10

Oct 23, 2024, 2:32 PM
Reply

here, we'd shoot the neighbor with the bow, and then hang and process her at the end of the driveway for all the other neighbors to see. You'd hope that based on where she was feeding most of her life that she wouldn't be too gamey and the meat would have a distinct NY pizza flavor. But like I said...the laws here are different.

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Re: calling all lawyers, hunters, and joungers with a good sense of humor

4

Oct 23, 2024, 2:35 PM
Reply

What neighbor sees



DH23 like




The next morning



2024 orange level member flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

After the kill...

7

Oct 23, 2024, 2:36 PM
Reply

Cook up a really good deer chili and some deer jerky and give to the neighbor as gifts. Hope for the best.

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[Catahoula] used to be almost solely a PnR rascal, but now has adopted shidpoasting with a passion. -bengaline

You are the meme master. - RPMcMurphy®

Trump is not a phony. - RememberTheDanny


Im making deer chili for my work Halloween party.

2

Oct 23, 2024, 4:07 PM
Reply

My question is this… do I have to tell them it’s venison? Some people feel tricked if you don’t and they love it (which they will love it) and others it tasted better knowing it’s deer bc it’s exotic and different.

I haven’t told anyone yet. I just put “Chili” on the sign up sheet.

2024 purple level member flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up


HOLD...HOLD....Let me tell you why

4

Oct 23, 2024, 2:43 PM
Reply

We have the same problem, fuggers are everywhere. Last year a guy did exactly what you're wanting to do, shot one with a bow. Except it ran off onto some guys corps. property and his 8 year old daughter found it as it was dying.

You know what that little sob story resulted in? The HOA voting down a referendum to have professionals come in and 'thin out' the deer, because people didn't have the stomach to see that happen again.

I'm considering poisoning them, personally.

2024 white level memberbadge-donor-15yr.jpgringofhonor-lakebum1-110.jpg flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

Deer are doing you a favor

2

Oct 23, 2024, 3:04 PM
Reply

Ever seen 20 year old azaleas, especially when they are grown close to a house?

I don't know if there a worse plant re: root systems messing stuff up. Let'em die. You'll be happy you did.

2024 white level memberbadge-donor-10yr.jpg flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

Easiest solution is to move. Or burn down the neighbors house.

2

Oct 23, 2024, 4:06 PM
Reply

That's more illegaler than shooting deer, but will bring about much moar piece.

2024 orange level memberbadge-donor-15yr.jpgringofhonor-tiggity-110.jpg flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up


City boy problems

2

Oct 23, 2024, 4:17 PM
Reply



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I like your funny words magic man


Catch 20 of them. Put them in your fenced in back yard. Charge these city boys

2

Oct 23, 2024, 4:17 PM
Reply

$2000 to shoot one

2024 white level memberbadge-donor-05yr.jpg flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

I like your funny words magic man


That could work if deer couldnt just jump 8 feet w ease.

2

Oct 23, 2024, 4:31 PM
Reply

I’ve watched those MFers jump a 8 foot fence from a standstill w no worries.

2024 purple level member flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up


Double up the fence. Make it at least 4 pallets high***

4

Oct 23, 2024, 4:34 PM
Reply



2024 white level memberbadge-donor-05yr.jpg flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

I like your funny words magic man


Re: Double up the fence. Make it at least 4 pallets high***

1

Oct 23, 2024, 5:17 PM
Reply

This is the most FBCoach dumpster diving pallet retrieving answer I could have expected.

Stay you!

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Re: calling all lawyers, hunters, and joungers with a good sense of humor

1

Oct 23, 2024, 4:54 PM
Reply

I think you should shoot your neighbor for feeding the deer.

One of them sumbiches charged me about a week or so ago. I don't mind a few in the neighborhood to a degree, but people do not need to be feeding them.

2024 orange level member flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

Someone has been giving these deer tree fiddy.

2

Oct 23, 2024, 6:34 PM
Reply

They ain’t gonna go away if people are giving them tree fiddy!



2024 purple level member flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up


ReII think you have to call the gamewarden and get them to pick the deer up...


Oct 23, 2024, 7:55 PM
Reply

in Tennessee. I had some munching on my tomato plants and asked around about killing them without a license and out of season. Actually, they nipped the buds on top of the plant only and the plants thrived from the attention.

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Replies: 44
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