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Replies: 33
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Scout Team [162]
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Question for parents of kids playing sports
Mar 24, 2015, 8:47 PM
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My son is in the eighth grade and on the Varsity baseball team. Our high school is very small and has a new, very young, first time coach. No assistant coaches, just him. My son gets frustrated because of playing time and it seems nothing I tell him (Like reminding him he's not even in high school and made varsity) lifts his spirits. So I'm looking for suggestions on what I can do as a Father to make him feel better and encourage him. TIA
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All-In [30593]
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if there is a JV squad... ask the coach if he can suit for
Mar 24, 2015, 8:50 PM
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both and get some PT there
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Scout Team [162]
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Re: if there is a JV squad... ask the coach if he can suit for
Mar 24, 2015, 8:52 PM
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There isn't one. That's a great idea though.
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All-In [30593]
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what is the level other kids his age are playing?
Mar 24, 2015, 8:56 PM
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As a coach, I would suggest you meet with the coach and do the following:
1. show coach full support for what he's doing
2. show appreciation that he saw enough in your son to give him the opportunity
3. let him know how your son is feeling, and ask him if he would meet with him and talk about where he see's him, why he's excited about him, and why your son should be excited.
4. tell him not to let your son know that you two talked
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Scout Team [162]
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Re: what is the level other kids his age are playing?
Mar 24, 2015, 8:57 PM
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I will most definitely do that next time I can get a chance to speak with the coach. Thanks for the advice york. I just hate seeing the kiddo bummed.
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Scout Team [162]
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All-In [30593]
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not baseball... but i've been on the coach's end of that
Mar 24, 2015, 9:19 PM
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exact conversation many times... both with players and parents
He likely doesn't know how bummed your kid is... and if he did, he would have already had a sit down with him. You don't dress an 8th grader and let him start to not enjoy it. Highly likely he doesn't know.
For a young kid like your son... many times all it takes is to hear from the man (coach) how excited he is about him, how he's progressing, and even what things he wants him to work on...
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Scout Team [162]
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Re: not baseball... but i've been on the coach's end of that
Mar 24, 2015, 9:24 PM
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Thanks so much for the advice york. That's why I like this community. You guys may fuss and fight but if someone needs something you guys step up.
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All-In [30593]
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Re: not baseball... but i've been on the coach's end of that
Mar 24, 2015, 9:25 PM
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"fuss and fight"?
i know not what you speak of 
this is happy camp
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Scout Team [162]
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Re: not baseball... but i've been on the coach's end of that
Mar 24, 2015, 9:40 PM
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I'm a long time lurker but have seen your many posts. I have had a lot of laughs from them. Thanks again for the great advice. Just want to see kiddo happy.
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All-In [30593]
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oh yea... that's right...
Mar 24, 2015, 9:44 PM
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that was bob's fault
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TigerNet Champion [117868]
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All-In [30593]
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at least you moved it to the right spot
Mar 24, 2015, 9:45 PM
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TigerNet Champion [117868]
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Re: at least you moved it to the right spot
Mar 24, 2015, 9:46 PM
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that is what I thought you were asking
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Clemson Sports Icon [59590]
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Re: Question for parents of kids playing sports
Mar 24, 2015, 9:35 PM
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Put him in another school that really cares about baseball. With just one new hire with no experience or assistants, they don't care about baseball. So say to son, quit the one mule program and look for a school that has a real program.
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Scout Team [162]
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Re: Question for parents of kids playing sports
Mar 24, 2015, 9:38 PM
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He wants to go to a different school that does have a better sports program. It's just getting him to and from school that's in another county.
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All-In [30593]
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really, really think that through
Mar 24, 2015, 9:43 PM
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bigger is not always better... I know a lot of kids who left smaller schools b/c they weren't "big time" enough, only to either not see the field much, or quit alltogether elsewhere.
If he's a player, he'll have opportunities... no matter where he plays high school ball.
Of course, if it's a situation where you guys are at odds with the school anyway, then you have to do what's best for your family...
but I would strongly caution that you really think a move through before doing that
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Scout Team [162]
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Re: really, really think that through
Mar 24, 2015, 9:52 PM
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Will do York. I'm a single father, so like I said, it'd be tough getting the kids to another school. He does love the high school but they really don't take baseball seriously. It's 4th behind football, basketball, and soccer.
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110%er [3956]
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Young coach in small school
Mar 24, 2015, 9:50 PM
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Probably thinks that winning is most important. Likewise, an 8th grader on the varsity is almost surely there for depth purposes. If the person playing in front of him is clearly better he has no complaint, but likewise the coach needs to be developing all players. If your son is not even getting to play in garbage time the coach isn't doing it the smart way in my opinion.
Maybe reading some of the articles about how many of the football players saying they had to wait their turn because the guys in front of them were better might help. Working hard in practice he will improve and be ready as the "next man up."
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Scout Team [162]
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Re: Young coach in small school
Mar 24, 2015, 9:55 PM
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They haven't won a game this season and my son has played at 2nd, short, and 3rd. I've tried to tell him that he's started a couple of varsity games in middle school which is awesome for him since he beat out guys in high school that tried out. He hurt his knee in a non sporting event that had him having to take it easy a few practices and a game. He lost his starting spot when that happened. He's not been the same since.
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Recruit [63]
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Re: Question for parents of kids playing sports
Mar 24, 2015, 9:52 PM
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First of all congratulations on your son making the varsity squad , that alone is a major accomplishment. I have coached youth sports for many years. I always tell kids to keep their eyes open and learn as much as possible. there will always be a time when a player has to wait his turn, and your son's time will come. I had the distinct honor of coaching Dabo's oldest son in football the first year he played. At that time Dabo was still the receivers coach. His son became a little discouraged at his playing time but it was his first year and it takes time to get to know what a kid is capable of. After a playoff game I had a discussion with Dabo about his son's playing time. Needless to say every parent wants to see their kid on the field. I explained to him that we had a large team and we did our best to play everyone as much as possible. Dabo asked why was the team so big and I said simply there weren't,t enough coaches that year to have two teams. We are after all volunteers. I understood his son's discouragement, and that his time will come. Can you Imagine having that discussion with him. He was gracious and understanding and I knew right then and there that Clemson had not only a great coach but a great man of character. The next year I had his son again and he never left the field. Not because he was the son of a Clemson coach but because he waited his time and earned his time on to the field. So tell your so to be patient. His time will come
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Scout Team [162]
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You guys are all great.
Mar 24, 2015, 9:58 PM
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Thanks for all the advice. This community is amazing.
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CU Guru [1400]
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With smaller schools
Mar 24, 2015, 9:52 PM
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sometimes they have to pick up younger players to fill out a roster. It sucks for the kids because they want to play but in the end if they do their best at practice and keep a team first attitude it pays off in the future.
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All-TigerNet [5919]
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Re: Question for parents of kids playing sports
Mar 24, 2015, 9:59 PM
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Ne proud of him.
Riding the bench is both a good character-builder and motivator.
See if there is rec league he can tryout for and play through spring and summer.
The alternative:
Buy him a Best Benchwarmer trophy.
Everyone gets a trophy society!
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Scout Team [162]
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Re: Question for parents of kids playing sports
Mar 24, 2015, 10:01 PM
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I'm super proud of him and told him that when we got home from tonight's game. I gave him a hug and told him I loved him. I told him he has to stay motivated and keep pushing.
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All-TigerNet [5915]
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Advice
Mar 24, 2015, 10:15 PM
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My son made the Wando Baseball B-Team in the 7th-grade a few years back and he was frustrated for exactly the same reasons. He got Benched in favor of other kids, not necessarily better players.
It sounds like you're giving him good advice already btw. Tell your son this is a great opportunity to practice being patient. He needs to learn it eventually, better now than later on. His time will come, things will get better, and if he simply stays the course playing time will eventually work out. Of course, it may not be this season. Young guys often get overlooked because they're smaller and less physically developed (even if they are better baseball payers). He'll grow, begin to hit harder, throw harder, run faster, etc...and will catch up. He'll have a coach or two in his career that don't "get him", and that's ok (it happens to everybody).
My son survived his season, even though it was painful to watch. It was harder for him to endure, of course. The experience made him mentally tougher...and today he's better player than everybody he was benched in favor of by a wide-margin. Last but not least, tell him to stay the course and keep working and things will work out for him. The cream always rises...eventually.
Good luck!
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All-Time Great [97851]
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Find someone to coach him a few hours each weekend.
Mar 24, 2015, 10:21 PM
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He can be a starter next year with the right coach.
If he has poor mechanics the lessons will require a coach who can break down the wrong muscle memory while installing the corrections.
I can put a 10 year old who hasn't pitched on the mound with three or four hours of personalized training. That's if his mechanics aren't screwed. It's just like leaving Greenville and going to Atlanta, the further north you go the more you have to backtrack.
High school and college coaches don't have time to straighten out players' mechanics. They all just run the best and abandon the rest.
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Clemson Sports Icon [53790]
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Beat his a$$ and tell him to quit b##ching.***
Mar 25, 2015, 7:46 AM
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Clemson Icon [26528]
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LOL.....Lawd, have mercy!***
Mar 25, 2015, 8:04 AM
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Top TigerNet [32385]
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Orange Immortal [67583]
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In was in a similar situation when I was younger.....
Mar 25, 2015, 8:08 AM
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as was my youngest daughter.
Back in the day, the Junior High School I attended only offered football and basketball. Consequently, 8th and 9th graders were permitted to participate in other sports at the high school level (i.e., track, wrestling, softball, baseball, volleyball and soccer).
Well...I was the only player to make the varsity soccer team as an 8th and 9th grader. Although I was a three year starter from the 10th throug hthe 12th grade, I rarely if ever played as an 8th and 9th grader.
My youngest daughter went through a similar situation with volleyball. Although her middle school had a volleyvball team, she was specifically asked by the local high school varsity coach to try-out for the high school team and while she and one other girl made the varsity team as 8th graders, she rarely played. In hind sight, if we could go back and do it again, I think she would opt to play for her middle school with all of her friends or the high school JV team.
That said, I completely agree with york; I suggest that you talk to the coach, let him know that he has your full support and tell him how much both you and your son appreciate the opportunity. However, you should also let him know how your son is feeling, and ask him if he would meet with him and talk to him about his plans for him going forward.
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Clemson Icon [26528]
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Years ago, my son first played Little League ball, then
Mar 25, 2015, 8:11 AM
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football and track in high school.
Although a fairly good athlete, he would complain when he felt he wasn't getting enough playing time. Complaining, that is, because he was "...always better than the others."
I had the same suggestion each time: "Then, quit."
And his answer each time was the same: "No, because if I do, you'll raise thunder."
He was right, and since he continued his efforts, I'm glad I took that approach. He probably is also, but he'd never admit it. lol
Good luck with your son, as this is one of those times that I suspect Daddy will know best!
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TigerNet Icon [155469]
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Re: Question for parents of kids playing sports
Mar 25, 2015, 8:33 AM
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may have already been mentioned but, playing varisty in the 8th grade may not be a good idea. I made the varisty in the 9th grade. I wasn't going to play much and our coach suggested I move back down to JV to get more playing time. I didn't like the idea and wanted to be the big shot..."I'm in the 9th and on the varisty BB team". Anyway, i moved down and played a lot. It helped my confidence and I started varsity the next three years and was a team leader my last two years. Point is, does he have to be on varisty?
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Game Day Hero [4388]
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Re: Question for parents of kids playing sports
Mar 25, 2015, 1:37 PM
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Slightly different perspective from most of the other posts.
No middle school or high school coach wants to talk to parents about playing time or about how their kid is feeling about it.
It is your kid's responsibility to advocate for himself.
You can talk to your son and role play how a conversation with the coach might go, but he needs to be the one to talk to the coach without you present.
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