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I’d rather go deep in Big Ten than the SEC
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I’d rather go deep in Big Ten than the SEC

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Jul 31, 2023, 8:47 AM

I think it’s safe to say that Clemson would dominate either conference from a purely football perspective, so I’m making my choice based on scoring.

I’ve traveled to most of the schools in the ACC over the years with mixed results. It seems like I always score touchdowns on road trips to places like Duke, Pitt and NC State but most of those wins aren’t anything to write home about. On the flip side, I always seem to fumble the ball on trips to Miami and FSU because I get too nervous and start saying dumb things while sweating really badly.

I’d probably turnover the ball on downs if given the chance with a hot brunette born in someplace exotic like Shreveport. On the flip side, I’m 100% positive I could run up the score in places like Columbus and Ann Arbor. Pickup lines like “I have access to my cousins marsh view time share in Myrtle Beach during the off season” would score more points than our 2018 offense.

If we’re collectively being honest, we’d most likely end up lonely after trying to outkick our coverage in places like Ole Miss and Florida. I’d admit, there are exceptions like Arkansas and Kentucky, but sometimes wins feel like losses when you go back and watch the tape. I can promise you that you’ll think long and hard about making better life decisions when having to sneak out of a double wide to avoid waking up a couple kids on a Sunday morning after spending the night with a single mom that you met at a gas station when buying a case of Natural Light to celebrate a win over a team that ends up 5-7.

Anyhow, after running the data through my proprietary algorithm, the Big Ten appears to off the better balance of quality opponents and likelihood of success.

Go Tigers!

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