|
Replies: 48
| visibility 7677
|
TigerNet Legend [146388]
TigerPulse: 100%
67
Posts: 34848
Joined: 2010
|
I had a father approach me after a game once...
24
24
Sep 24, 2024, 8:26 AM
|
|
after a close game. He wanted to know when his son would get more playing time. I won't go into details, but his son was not playing for his own protection. The next game we were leading comfortably and both teams were able to play all of the backups, including the son.
I say this because in the father's mind, I'm sure the conversation we had played a part in his son getting playing time in the next game. In his mind, it took him calling out a coaching staff for the staff to change. In his mind, credit for the change falls on him. In fact, there was nothing more the staff would have loved than for his son to get more playing time earlier in the season, or the season before, but multiple factors prevented us from doing so. Factors the father is unaware of because he is not at practice, and never takes time to talk to the staff.
If the father really wanted his son to get more playing time, he'd be working with the son in the afternoons at home. He'd be getting him off the couch on the weekends. He'd be asking the coaching staff what areas are his son's strengths, and what areas are his son's weaknesses. He'd be asking he coaching staff what his son needs to be working on at home to get better. He'd be volunteering to help coach. Those who do the work recognize and appreciate those who are also willing to roll up their sleeves and put in work themselves. It's easy to do nothing, but critique those who do, and how they do it. And it's those same people, who do nothing, who then try and take credit for the results because they complained.
|
|
|
|
 |
TigerNet Icon [157850]
TigerPulse: 100%
68
Posts: 28147
Joined: 2012
|
That's an interesting way to look at it. Sounds as if this dad believes his son
6
6
Sep 24, 2024, 8:31 AM
|
|
is entitled to play regardless.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oculus Spirit [43276]
TigerPulse: 100%
57
Posts: 11039
Joined: 2017
|
Too long
10
10
Sep 24, 2024, 8:33 AM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Rival Killer [2823]
TigerPulse: 100%
33
|
Re: Too long
6
6
Sep 24, 2024, 9:12 AM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
All-In [10810]
TigerPulse: 100%
45
|
Re: I had a father approach me after a game once...
4
Sep 24, 2024, 8:41 AM
|
|
So you’re advocating for a father to basically be the football version of Venus and Serena Williams father?! You’re telling another parent how to be a parent. Man. JV coaches in my day were basically extorted into being a coach. Usually a chemistry teacher with indiscretions.
Do you know this kids life story? Maybe he had early life cancer and is just lucky to be there. Not every kid is cut out to be a starter. For some it boils down to genetics. Perhaps his kid is extremely active at home but just can’t get into shape. I know 300lb guys who are in better physical condition and health than some with 6% body fat.
I played every snap for varsity from 9th grade through 12th. Kickoff. Kickoff return. Punt. Punt return. Offense. Defense. We were the smallest 1A school in the state and the starting 11 didn’t come off the field until late fourth quarter. Then, EVERY kid got one snap. Even the less than 100lb kid played defensive end one snap against a 250lb lineman. He got knocked on his butt and it didn’t kill him. He was tickled to get to play. We celebrated those kids getting in and making a play.
Your post comes off as I know better than you because I’m a second year (if memory serves) defensive coordinator for a JV football team. Is this an arrogant Pat on the back for knowing better than the kids father?! Narcissism is alive and well! Maybe take a page out of Dabo’s book and empty the benches every chance you get.
Message was edited by: OneJedi®
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oculus Spirit [39636]
TigerPulse: 100%
57
Posts: 10853
Joined: 2015
|
Re: I had a father approach me after a game once...
1
6
6
Sep 24, 2024, 8:45 AM
|
|
So you’re advocating for a father to basically be the football version of Venus and Serena Williams. You’re telling another parent how to be a parent. Man. JV coaches in my day were basically extorted into being a coach. Usually a chemistry teacher with indiscretions.
Do you know this kids life story? Maybe he had early life cancer and is just lucky to be there. Not every kid is cut out to be a starter. For some it boils down to genetics. Perhaps his kid is extremely active at home but just can’t get into shape. I know 300lb guys who are in better physical condition and health than some with 6% body fat.
I played every snap for varsity from 9th grade through 12th. Kickoff. Kickoff return. Punt. Punt return. Offense. Defense. We were the smallest 1A school in the state and the starting 11 didn’t come off the field until late fourth quarter. Then, EVERY kid got one snap. Even the less than 100lb kid played defensive end one snap against a 250lb lineman. He got knocked on his butt and it didn’t kill him. He was tickled to get to play.
Your post comes off as I know better than you because I’m a second year (if memory serves) defensive coordinator for a JV football team. Is this an arrogant Pat on the back for knowing better than the kids father?! Narcissism is alive and well!
You missed the whole point of the thread. Narcissist dang that is a stretch. If you have ever coached anything you would understand I believe. Some parents believe because their kid shows up they should play. Apparently he knew this dad was not working to help make his son better but thought he should be playing. If dad could not do it maybe find someone that can,would be my choice if my son did indeed like the sport and wanted to get better. Some kids don’t care as much as momma and daddy. Coaches only get kids a few hours a week, and the older you get you have to do a little more on your own to stay competitive.
Every situation is different but this is how I comprehended this post.
|
|
|
|
|
|
TigerNet Legend [146388]
TigerPulse: 100%
67
Posts: 34848
Joined: 2010
|
I can answer all of your questions...
8
8
Sep 24, 2024, 8:48 AM
[ in reply to Re: I had a father approach me after a game once... ] |
|
So you’re advocating for a father to basically be the football version of Venus and Serena Williams. You’re telling another parent how to be a parent. Man. JV coaches in my day were basically extorted into being a coach. Usually a chemistry teacher with indiscretions.
- I'm not saying that at all.
Do you know this kids life story? Maybe he had early life cancer and is just lucky to be there. Not every kid is cut out to be a starter. For some it boils down to genetics. Perhaps his kid is extremely active at home but just can’t get into shape. I know 300lb guys who are in better physical condition and health than some with 6% body fat.
- I do know his life story. And his father's. And his grandfather's. It's pretty clear you do not.
I played every snap for varsity from 9th grade through 12th. Kickoff. Kickoff return. Punt. Punt return. Offense. Defense. We were the smallest 1A school in the state and the starting 11 didn’t come off the field until late fourth quarter. Then, EVERY kid got one snap. Even the less than 100lb kid played defensive end one snap against a 250lb lineman. He got knocked on his butt and it didn’t kill him. He was tickled to get to play.
- I'm glad your chemistry teacher with indiscretions got you/others playing time. I'm sorry you don't know the circumstances surrounding this player, but glad you have not let that stop you from criticizing the coaching staff.
Your post comes off as I know better than you because I’m a second year (if memory serves) defensive coordinator for a JV football team. Is this an arrogant Pat on the back for knowing better than the kids father?! Narcissism is alive and well!
- I'm sorry you have drawn conclusions without having all of the information. Kind of the point of the post.
Edited to respond to your edit... We do clear the benches every chance we get. As outlined in the original post.
Message was edited by: Francis Marion®
|
|
|
|
|
|
Hall of Famer [9065]
TigerPulse: 100%
43
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ultimate Clemson Legend [99910]
TigerPulse: 100%
64
Posts: 29727
Joined: 2005
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oculus Spirit [39636]
TigerPulse: 100%
57
Posts: 10853
Joined: 2015
|
Re: I had a father approach me after a game once...
7
7
Sep 24, 2024, 8:43 AM
|
|
You hit that out of the ball park.
I used to work with my son, sent him for specialized training and in the end he was just not as talented as a lot of his peers. When he was young he was better than most because of his speed but as you get older ball skills and touch (soccer) was what was needed. He had neither unfortunately. Still enjoyed watching him play that and football. Went by too quickly.
Francis Marion®
|
|
|
|
|
|
CU Medallion [20519]
TigerPulse: 100%
52
Posts: 17216
Joined: 2002
|
Is this serious? ..it seems like a serious post. My meter isn't buzzing but I
6
6
Sep 24, 2024, 9:10 AM
|
|
see the name Francis Marion RIGHT THERE!
Something must be amiss.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ultimate Tiger [33087]
TigerPulse: 100%
56
Posts: 15037
Joined: 2011
|
Did you check the batteries ? ? ? ? If you aren't buzzing, you have no one to
1
Sep 24, 2024, 10:21 AM
|
|
blame but yoself.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ultimate Clemson Legend [99910]
TigerPulse: 100%
64
Posts: 29727
Joined: 2005
|
WRONG BORED MORAN...
6
6
Sep 24, 2024, 9:12 AM
|
|
this has nothing to do with Clemson Tigers Mens Varsity Football.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Commissioner [1229]
TigerPulse: 100%
27
|
Re: I had a father approach me after a game once...
4
Sep 24, 2024, 9:13 AM
|
|
FM - You said it in the first paragraph. Heard it many times during my son's playing days. The kid HAS to be able to defend himself on the field. Regardless if Daddy thinks he's ready and able. What happens if you give in to every parent and put a kid in and he gets injured. That's on the coach, not the parents.
I've also seen coaches that say "show up and give 100% and you'll play". Only for that to turn out to be a lie. For whatever reasons. It's difficult. The coaches responsibility is to the kid. The parent needs to understand that. And that can be done without trying to tell someone how to be a better parent.
I would guess at the JV level or earlier, you're more about teaching them the game and/or their position rather than winning titles.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Campus Hero [13756]
TigerPulse: 100%
48
|
Re: I had a father approach me after a game once...
4
Sep 24, 2024, 9:25 AM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Paw Warrior [4722]
TigerPulse: 100%
37
|
I had a similar thing happen. I told Dad that the by had not been
3
Sep 24, 2024, 9:35 AM
|
|
coming to practice. Mom had been telling Dad that she was bringing him when she had not.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Clemson Conqueror [11182]
TigerPulse: 100%
46
|
Re: I had a father approach me after a game once...
2
Sep 24, 2024, 9:48 AM
|
|
Put him in there as a starter for a short bit so his Dad can understand why he will never play again.
|
|
|
|
|
|
All-TigerNet [5680]
TigerPulse: 87%
39
|
Re: I had a father approach me after a game once...
2
Sep 24, 2024, 10:02 AM
|
|
sounds like you and the father need to sit down and “hash” things out
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ultimate Tiger [33087]
TigerPulse: 100%
56
Posts: 15037
Joined: 2011
|
We don't believe you and we are all laughing at you right now . . . .***
5
5
Sep 24, 2024, 10:18 AM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
TigerNet Legend [146388]
TigerPulse: 100%
67
Posts: 34848
Joined: 2010
|
You would not be the first one on this site to suggest that...
5
5
Sep 24, 2024, 10:21 AM
|
|
The other poster refused to bet on it though.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Heisman Winner [84303]
TigerPulse: 100%
62
Posts: 17710
Joined: 2017
|
Hew probably just too busy in the shower to reply.
2
Sep 24, 2024, 4:00 PM
|
|
.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Clemson Conqueror [11958]
TigerPulse: 100%
46
|
I coached Middle and High School
2
Sep 24, 2024, 10:23 AM
|
|
3 goals
1) we do the right thing
2) we win the game
3) everyone plays
We don’t always get 2 and 3 but we always get goal 1.
I communicated this with the parents, especially Middle school. They knew I was trying to play everyone. Sometimes this almost cost us the game. But at middle school level it’s more about kids growing and learning than anything.
The beginning of the year meeting with parents sets the stage for cutting out a lot of this parent crap.
|
|
|
|
|
|
TigerNet Legend [146388]
TigerPulse: 100%
67
Posts: 34848
Joined: 2010
|
Agree...
3
Sep 24, 2024, 10:25 AM
|
|
Same thing we do. Of course, this parent did not attend the parents/coaches meeting prior to the start of spring camp.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dynasty Maker [3273]
TigerPulse: 100%
34
|
Re: Agree...
3
Sep 24, 2024, 10:48 AM
|
|
In a slightly different viewpoint, some kids don't have a father in the house and some fathers just don't care. I was one of the kids whose father never attended even one game. Long story.
|
|
|
|
|
|
TigerNet Legend [146388]
TigerPulse: 100%
67
Posts: 34848
Joined: 2010
|
100%
2
Sep 24, 2024, 12:39 PM
|
|
This is a different situation though.
Message was edited by: Francis Marion®
|
|
|
|
|
|
Orange Elite [5145]
TigerPulse: 97%
38
|
Re: I had a father approach me after a game once...
4
Sep 24, 2024, 10:52 AM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Associate AD [1065]
TigerPulse: 77%
25
|
Re: I had a father approach me after a game once...
1
Sep 24, 2024, 12:00 PM
|
|
Lmfao!! Perfect! Ole Donnie lap doggie needs us to know how amazing he is at life. Hence this weird post. Coach Munson, Dabo’s boy.
|
|
|
|
|
|
TigerNet Legend [146388]
TigerPulse: 100%
67
Posts: 34848
Joined: 2010
|
Im sorry you missed the point
4
Sep 24, 2024, 12:45 PM
|
|
and responded to the wrong post.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Associate AD [1065]
TigerPulse: 77%
25
|
Re: Im sorry you missed the point
1
Sep 24, 2024, 1:21 PM
|
|
No I was laughing at the Stuart Smalley meme. I could be wrong, but I took as he was making fun of you and your post.
If I’m wrong, apologies to Smed.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Orange Elite [5145]
TigerPulse: 97%
38
|
Re: Im sorry you missed the point
3
Sep 24, 2024, 2:14 PM
|
|
I know Francis always appreciates a little humor. It was really about that. Not disagreeing with his post.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Heisman Winner [84303]
TigerPulse: 100%
62
Posts: 17710
Joined: 2017
|
Please don't encourage her.
2
Sep 24, 2024, 4:02 PM
|
|
.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Orange Blooded [2553]
TigerPulse: 100%
32
|
Re: I had a father approach me after a game once...
3
Sep 24, 2024, 11:02 AM
|
|
I know a coach who told the team early on that any player's family approaching him about playing time would result in the player getting zero playing time. One tried it and the coach was true to his words.
Player went on to be a player on a college sport.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Commissioner [1229]
TigerPulse: 100%
27
|
Re: I had a father approach me after a game once...
1
Sep 24, 2024, 11:13 AM
|
|
I've seen that as well. But I found it to be a cop-out on the coaches part. From Pop Warner to the NFL, its about playing time. If you're out there, you want to play. Avoiding the discussion doesn't make it go away.
A parent got in my bro-in-law's face when he was coaching his daughters in 8-under softball. * years old and this dude was screaming about playing time because his daughter was going to school on a softball scholarship! Give me a break. He was still teaching them how to catch and throw! In the event that someone actually made contact with the ball and hit it, there was just chaos as everyone ran to the ball. Once caught, there was nobody to throw it to!
But the harsh reality in football is that once you get to the HS level you have guys out there being recruited by D1 schools playing against guys that probably should be on the debate team. That's a dangerous combo and parents should be discussing LESS playing time.
|
|
|
|
|
|
TigerNet Legend [146388]
TigerPulse: 100%
67
Posts: 34848
Joined: 2010
|
Athletic Handbook for the school prohibits contact...
2
Sep 24, 2024, 12:41 PM
[ in reply to Re: I had a father approach me after a game once... ] |
|
with coaches for 24 hours after a game. This was ignored by the parent. It’s ok with me though, I can handle the conversations.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Game Changer [1653]
TigerPulse: 98%
31
|
well I hope no dads try to shake your hand post-game
1
Sep 24, 2024, 9:38 PM
|
|
That’d be a serious violation
|
|
|
|
|
|
Orange Elite [5386]
TigerPulse: 100%
38
|
Really good point
5
5
Sep 24, 2024, 11:12 AM
|
|
First, a real man teaches his son to ask the coach what he needs to do in order to improve and earn more playing time
Second - you nailed it on the head. Get off the couch and get off your dang phone and go help your kid get better. That dad has no clue what his son needs to work on and hasn’t spent 2 seconds looking at film or working on a field with him.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Redshirt [98]
TigerPulse: 74%
10
|
Re: Really good point
3
Sep 24, 2024, 12:23 PM
|
|
My son asked me one time to speak to his coach about playing time. He was maybe 11-12 YO and we were driving back from a game in which he didn't see much time. After he asked, I pulled over, turned the car off and focused my attention on him. My messages were simple.
1 - I will never speak to a coach on your behalf for playing time.
2 - If you want more playing time, don't give your coaches a choice. Be Better. Be so good they have no choice but to put you in.
3 - If you want to truly be better, put in the work. And if there is anything we can do to help you be better...we will do it, as long as you are committed.
4 - We love you...whether you play or don't play, whether you start or don't start. Your mom and I love you unconditionally.
That kid went on to be an ESPN All American in High School and played D1 sports. But it was what he wanted, he put in the work and made it happen.
I never had any of that as a kid. And unfortunately many kids don't have a support system at home. But the good news is that all of us can help influence the paths of those around us. Imagine if all the keyboard warriors on T-net coached and/or mentored one child.
Boys and Girls needs positive influences. Sometimes they come from the family...and sometimes they can come from TigerNet!
|
|
|
|
|
|
Heisman Winner [84303]
TigerPulse: 100%
62
Posts: 17710
Joined: 2017
|
It's funny because the kid is fat
5
5
Sep 24, 2024, 11:38 AM
|
|
.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Top TigerNet [31494]
TigerPulse: 100%
55
Posts: 18092
Joined: 2008
|
Re: I had a father approach me after a game once...
5
5
Sep 24, 2024, 12:08 PM
|
|
Your point was what again? TIA
|
|
|
|
|
|
Legend [6789]
TigerPulse: 100%
41
|
Re: I had a father approach me after a game once...
1
Sep 24, 2024, 12:09 PM
|
|
Well said. The dad wants the kid to play when the kid isn't doing what he needs to do to get on the field.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Athletic Dir [1194]
TigerPulse: 92%
26
|
Re: I had a father approach me after a game once...
1
Sep 24, 2024, 12:24 PM
|
|
You shouldn't be talking to Big Dave.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Paw Master [17556]
TigerPulse: 100%
51
Posts: 11143
Joined: 2007
|
Re: I had a father approach me after a game once...
3
Sep 24, 2024, 1:24 PM
|
|
I feel like there is a lesson to be learned here but am sure those who need it will miss it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dynasty Maker [3495]
TigerPulse: 100%
34
|
Re: I had a father approach me after a game once...
2
Sep 24, 2024, 3:45 PM
|
|
I like funny Francis better than serious Francis
Francis Marion®
|
|
|
|
|
|
Paw Warrior [4747]
TigerPulse: 82%
37
|
Re: I had a father approach me after a game once...
Sep 24, 2024, 8:50 PM
|
|
I quite disagree.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Gridiron Giant [15977]
TigerPulse: 100%
50
Posts: 10142
Joined: 2016
|
Re: I had a father approach me after a game once...
2
Sep 24, 2024, 3:57 PM
|
|
Here's the example why you make those calls as a coach sometimes. I went through a similar thing coaching a 12 - 13 yo team in IL. A kid wasn't playing for his own safety. He wouldn't learn to keep his head up and hit with his shoulder no matter what the other coaches and I did. He bent his head down making contact near the back of the helmet which is a broken neck waiting to happen.
I explained that to his Dad and he said he would work on it with his son. Luckily when he did play (I stuck him at deep safety away from most of the action), he wasn't injured. That was my last season coaching that team and I moved on to another.
Unfortunately, the future coaching from his high school coaches and his Dad didn't work because he fractured his neck making a tackle in high school ducking his head. Luckily, he was not paralyzed and only had to stop playing football.
Some kids don't need to be on football field.
|
|
|
|
|
|
TigerNet Legend [146388]
TigerPulse: 100%
67
Posts: 34848
Joined: 2010
|
Player safety is the top priority.***
Sep 24, 2024, 8:00 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
All-American [592]
TigerPulse: 96%
20
|
Re: I had a father approach me after a game once...
Sep 24, 2024, 8:04 PM
|
|
after reading this I bet the father never approached him again. sheesh...
|
|
|
|
|
|
Paw Warrior [4747]
TigerPulse: 82%
37
|
Re: I had a father approach me after a game once...
1
Sep 24, 2024, 8:49 PM
|
|
Francis,
I generally don't appreciate your posts, but as someone who has been in your situation, every word in this post rang true. Lots of people fall into the logic trap (post hoc, ergo propter hoc) that if A follows B then B must have caused A. This is especially true if you are the one to create B.
Also, parents are often involved in their children's lives but not quite involved enough to have an accurate picture of all of the factors involved. They have the picture from one perspective, but that may not be the entire picture.
Anyway, thumbs up where one is deserved.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Asst Coach [887]
TigerPulse: 100%
23
|
Re: I had a father approach me after a game once...
1
Sep 24, 2024, 9:21 PM
|
|
Good post FM. Why don't I see the thumbs up option? Still learning.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Replies: 48
| visibility 7677
|
|
|
50
