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I cannot shop at Costco anymore.
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I cannot shop at Costco anymore.

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May 15, 2023, 10:16 AM

Yesterday I was at Costco buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Rowlf The Dog, which weighs 151 lbs. I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, a pig? So because I'm sometimes a funny guy, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is, to load your jacket pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stopped to take a leak on a fire hydrant and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Costco won't let me shop there anymore. Better watch what you ask some people. You'll never know what stories they come up with!

2024 orange level member flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

I try to save a life a day, usually it is my own.


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