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Replies: 67
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Clemson Icon [24817]
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Meeting my mother for the first time
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105
Apr 18, 2024, 4:53 PM
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I am 56 years old and was adopted at birth. My mother was a young, scared girl and made the best decision to give me up for adoption. I was blessed with a great life growing up and a father who was my hero and best friend. I never had the desire to know who my birth parents was, because I respected the decision that they made to benefit me and them.
Two years ago my son did an ancestory.com search and found my birth mother’s family. I am less than two weeks away from meeting my mom, grandma, uncles and aunts that never knew I had. God and life sure has a sense of humor
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Orange Immortal [66548]
TigerPulse: 100%
60
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Joined: 2001
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Great story. I am excited for you to meet your birth mother.
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Apr 18, 2024, 5:03 PM
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I am praying all goes well. I know you will be nervous, but it will be worth it.
On another note, a woman I dearly love found out about a year ago that she was born out of wedlock. Her father kept her when he remarried but she never knew. She met the rest of her family about a year ago. She said it was fantastic! She has really enjoyed get to know her other brothers and sisters.
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TigerNet Champion [117865]
TigerPulse: 100%
65
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Joined: 2003
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The best thing you can do for here is let her know what a great life
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30
Apr 18, 2024, 5:04 PM
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you have led. You have some catching up to do!
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Clemson Icon [24817]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: The best thing you can do for here is let her know what a great life
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Apr 18, 2024, 8:37 PM
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Yeah I agree! We talk a lot and I have told her I respect her so much for her decision and because she did she did I had a great life. Tigerbalm1 appreciate the thoughts
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Paw Warrior [4731]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Meeting my mother for the first time
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Apr 18, 2024, 5:12 PM
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Good luck! I have a story much like yours. I'm 60 years old and was adopted at 6 months. Through 23andMe I recently met a half sister that's 2 years younger than me. From the non-identifying information that I have we decided that we have the same mother. We don't know if she's still around.
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Clemson Icon [24817]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Meeting my mother for the first time
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Apr 18, 2024, 8:39 PM
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That’s amazing and hope it works out for you and can find peace in she situation
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Clemson Icon [24817]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Meeting my mother for the first time
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Apr 18, 2024, 8:40 PM
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The not she sorry iPhone
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Orange Beast [6371]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Meeting my mother for the first time
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Apr 18, 2024, 5:47 PM
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Glad it worked out for you and hope you enjoy meeting your Mom and get to many more times - good luck!
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Orange Beast [6534]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Meeting my mother for the first time
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Apr 18, 2024, 5:57 PM
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I hope it goes well. Please keep us posted.
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All-TigerNet [5711]
TigerPulse: 94%
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Re: Meeting my mother for the first time
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Apr 18, 2024, 6:00 PM
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If thats what you want go for it but you may open a pandoras box, I
hope not. I like to think that folks like you would say my birth mother.
The parents who adopted you are very special people who love you very
much. these are the folks who were there for you thru thick and thin.
Your birth Mother should only be special because she didn't abort you.
Good luck and I hope all goes well. I say all of this because of reasons
that are very close to my heart but I won't go into it.
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MVP [525]
TigerPulse: 99%
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Re: Meeting my mother for the first time
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Apr 18, 2024, 7:45 PM
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You’re wrong about that. A birth mother is special because she conceived him/her, endured 9 months of gestation and indescribable pain and suffered the unfathomable sacrifice of surrendering her infant to an unknown fate in the hope it will have a better life.
That is courage
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All-TigerNet [5711]
TigerPulse: 94%
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Re: Meeting my mother for the first time
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Apr 19, 2024, 11:08 AM
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I'm not wrong pug because I said the same thing that you
are saying but in different words.I said because she didn't
abort him and you said because she conceived him so that
means SHE DIDN'T ABORT HIM!
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Clemson Icon [24817]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Meeting my mother for the first time
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Apr 19, 2024, 11:16 AM
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I know what you meant and am not offended, honestly everyone has an opinion, I still get to have mine lol. Enjoy your weekend irmotig®
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MVP [525]
TigerPulse: 99%
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Re: Meeting my mother for the first time
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Apr 18, 2024, 7:49 PM
[ in reply to Re: Meeting my mother for the first time ] |
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You’re wrong about that. A birth mother is special because she conceived him/her, endured 9 months of gestation and indescribable pain and suffered the unfathomable sacrifice of surrendering her infant to an unknown fate in the hope it will have a better life.
That is courage. And sacrifice
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Clemson Icon [24817]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Meeting my mother for the first time
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Apr 18, 2024, 8:45 PM
[ in reply to Re: Meeting my mother for the first time ] |
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That’s funny you feel like that about me. However, I said I was blessed with my dad. He was my best friend. He has passed on and I know he would be supportive. I didn’t look for this it just happened
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Game Day Hero [4488]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Meeting my mother for the first time
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Apr 18, 2024, 9:28 PM
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You don't have to explain yourself and your feelings to anyone else, regardless of their experiences.
Some people just need to keep their thoughts to themselves.
Best of luck to you.
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Top TigerNet [31501]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Meeting my mother for the first time
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Apr 18, 2024, 6:03 PM
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Good luck. Hope all goes well.
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Solid Orange [1314]
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Re: Meeting my mother for the first time
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Apr 18, 2024, 6:10 PM
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Hope it goes really well! Good luck
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Associate AD [1081]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Meeting my mother for the first time
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Apr 18, 2024, 6:10 PM
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That’s wonderful it’s great that you will have two families have a great reunion
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All-TigerNet [6082]
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Re: Meeting my mother for the first time
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10
Apr 18, 2024, 6:14 PM
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Chances are your birth mother has thought about you every day. It would not be easy to carry a baby to term then give the baby up for adoption. I will be praying for you to have a nice meeting with her.
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Clemson Icon [24817]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Meeting my mother for the first time
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Apr 18, 2024, 8:47 PM
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I am the only child she ever had. So I imagine she did, but she was like me content with never meeting feeling it was for the best
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Paw Master [17023]
TigerPulse: 100%
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I hope the meeting goes well
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Apr 18, 2024, 6:20 PM
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and am glad that you have found each other. Things have clearly worked out for you…praying it is a happy reunion
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All-TigerNet [12666]
TigerPulse: 86%
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I feel you're going to be so glad you met her
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7
Apr 18, 2024, 6:25 PM
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My sister's Mother in law was in that scenario, but she was the mother who had placed her son up for adoption. She got a call one day about 20 years ago. The man on the other end asked her if she was ××××××××. She said yes. He then simply said, I was born on xx-xx-19xx in xxxxxx hospital. He then said do you know who I am. She said yes. They had a nice conversation.
They set a place and time to meet. Like you, He had had a great life from his adoptive parents añd stlill did. She was not to replace them. But their relationship is tremendous. His wife and children are a wonderful addition to her life and she is to theirs. My sister and her husband are good friends with his biological brother and his wife. They visit and make road trips.
Just an all around great turn of events. Of course every situation is different, but I think you will be so glad to know her. I hope that for you.
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Ring of Honor [23744]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2004
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My daughter took the test. A year later my wife met her Vietnamese sister.
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Apr 18, 2024, 7:56 PM
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Her sister worked her way to the states via the Philippines, Texas and then Atlanta.
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Orange Blooded [2129]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Meeting my mother for the first time
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5
Apr 18, 2024, 6:38 PM
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Hope all goes well! That has to be exciting for you, That must have been the hardest decision your mom ever made. Glad to hear you have done well in life.
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Hall of Famer [9020]
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Re: Meeting my mother for the first time
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Apr 18, 2024, 7:18 PM
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Prayers that it all goes peaceful and easy for everyone.
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Clemson Sports Icon [59560]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Meeting my mother for the first time
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6
Apr 18, 2024, 7:38 PM
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Your feelings about that situation only proves that you were raised the right way with you having an open mind and understanding the feeling of your DNA mother with her realizing that she wouldn't have been able to give her baby the life that she felt you deserved. To be truly honest, there has been many times that I have wished that parents would have felt that way when I was born bc they couldn't afford a 5th kid when I was born or during any part of my child raising years. If they would have had the sense of what it was going to cost them to give me at least an equal chance to have the advantages that a kid could have in a one or two kid family I believe that my life would have a lot different than it has been.
They did do the right thing right thing right after I was born bc they gave me to my aunt and uncle that couldn't have kids, but I guess their guilt of doing that got the best of them when I turned 4 years old bc they took me from the two people that I thought was my mom and dad. Since my uncle was my dads brother there was never no courts involved with them taking me as their own, they had no proof of anything when my DNA mom and dad took me back. But I have tried to imagine the advantages I would have had if my DNA mom and dad would have left me with who I learned later in my life was my aunt and uncle. So I understand more than most that there are times when a mother gives up her baby, she done so bc it was the right thing to do when it was going to give that child a better chance with their life in the long run...
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Head Coach [981]
TigerPulse: 96%
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Re: Meeting my mother for the first time
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7
Apr 18, 2024, 7:47 PM
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I have a few friends who adopted children. And I've told them they have my highest admiration. Outstanding people.
IMHO
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All-Pro [712]
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Re: Meeting my mother for the first time
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Apr 18, 2024, 7:47 PM
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That is awesome. I pray all goes well for everyone. Blessed
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Heisman Winner [78357]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Here's hoping you have a big payday coming!***
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Apr 18, 2024, 7:47 PM
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Clemson Icon [24817]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Here's hoping you and a big payday coming!***
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Apr 18, 2024, 9:01 PM
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lol that was my birth dad. But sadly, he passed. BloodbeOrange®
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Heisman Winner [78357]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2018
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Re: Here's hoping you and a big payday coming!***
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Apr 18, 2024, 9:18 PM
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Hope it's a great visit!
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Tiger Spirit [9892]
TigerPulse: 96%
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Exciting and nerve racking
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9
Apr 18, 2024, 8:13 PM
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Myself and my sister are adopted. My sister met her birth mom and it wasn't great. She quit her job and moved from Vegas to VA to live with my sister. Things weren't going well, so she moved back west.
I have not met my birth mother nor know who she is. She was 17 and scared and unsure what to do. Apparently my biological dad was not willing to have any part of the situation. She and her mother decided to put me up for adoption, glad she did. I am currently 47 old and not sure if I'll ever pursue it. I have 3 kids, 23, 16, and 13. My 23 old is technically my step son, I've raised him since he was 4. He recently went to court and had his last name legally changed to my last name. He's in the Air Force, married with my first grandchild.
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Clemson Icon [24817]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Exciting and nerve racking
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Apr 18, 2024, 11:50 PM
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Your story sounds like mine and I feel like you do. Never did I think of finding out who my parents was My son just wanted to know his background, little did I know it would come to this
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CU Guru [1538]
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Re: Meeting my mother for the first time
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Apr 18, 2024, 8:37 PM
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Reading these stories has been an encouragement! Single, 52 and God let me know He had a special assignment. Fostered and later adopted 3 little brothers, 4, 5 and 7. They’re 23,24 and 25 now. Huge blessing - God provided every need and lots of wants.
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Legend [6811]
TigerPulse: 100%
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This is awesome! Let us know how things turn out!***
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Apr 18, 2024, 8:39 PM
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Game Day Hero [4509]
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Re: This is awesome! Let us know how things turn out!***
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6
Apr 18, 2024, 8:58 PM
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My family member received an ancestry test for Christmas. He found out he had a daughter he never knew he had. Apparently he fathered a child when he was in the navy. The girls mother told another guy that he was the father and they got married and raised the girl. Sadly they divorced and the girls dad had nothing to do with her.
He waited patiently for months for his daughter to log back on to ancestry.com so she’d get the notification that she had a new match. Long story short, she did and they ended up connecting. He met her, her husband and children. They’ve formed a quick bond and have spent a lot of time getting to know each other. He now has grandchildren which he absolutely adores! It’s a crazy but beautiful story!
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Orange Blooded [2556]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Meeting my mother for the first time
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Apr 18, 2024, 9:18 PM
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You sound like you are level headed enough, or in an old expression,”have your head screwed on right” that I am sure you will make it work. Best of luck.
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Clemson Sports Icon [59560]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2007
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Re: Meeting my mother for the first time
Apr 19, 2024, 1:15 PM
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Exactly!!! They will always be a young girl somewhere that allowed her puppy love feeling for an aggressive young boy friend get what she should have saved bc it usually gets them in a situation that they're not old enough to deal with like raising a child and having to scrape for every dime they can get to support a baby. So I totally believe those young teenage girls should do what's best for the baby, and allow a successful married cple take and raise the baby as their own.
I think that everybody that has read any of these comments know without any doubt that, a cple in this day and time, the male should be college educated before he brings a baby in the world, and more than one child, it would be great if the female also had a college education so she can have a good paying job after she raises the kids to at least to 10-12 years old, and it cost a small fortune to afford two kids and pay for their education. IMO it's the parent's duty to at least give their blood child, or an adopted child a college education, and that's the key for helping them to be successful in the world that we live in today...
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Clemson Icon [24817]
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Re: Meeting my mother for the first time
Apr 19, 2024, 3:00 PM
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True words spoken
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Legend [6971]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Meeting my mother for the first time
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Apr 18, 2024, 9:22 PM
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I can't imagine those feelings...anticipation, trepidation... both?
Very best wishes for this meeting,and its aftermath. When the time is right, please consider sharing an update with us.
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Head Coach [942]
TigerPulse: 78%
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Re: Meeting my mother for the first time
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Apr 18, 2024, 10:17 PM
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So happy for you and your mother! I went 35 years knowing my dad wasn't my biological "dad", but not knowing who was. Never questioned it because I didn't want to upset the apple cart. One day I received a letter that was a blessing: it explained enough of what I never knew to help me realize that everything turned out for the best! I never met my biological father, and he passed away a couple of years back. Never have met any of his family that was only about 20 minutes away. Not really sure why I don't have any regrets, but everything happens the way it does for a reason, which is why I've never really asked "why". I hope your reunion is one of the greatest moments of your life and leads to a great relationship with your mother going forward!
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Clemson Icon [26528]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2011
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Best wishes to you, as you embark upon this new
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Apr 19, 2024, 5:46 AM
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journey in your life.
No doubt, you have been successful and have a well-balanced, reasonable approach to matters. Thus, I have no doubts you will find a certain closure plus a new beginning that will be good for your spirit.
Peace....
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Game Changer [1736]
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Re: Meeting my mother for the first time
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Apr 19, 2024, 5:56 AM
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Wow that’s really freaking awesome man. Get the tissue ready
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CU Guru [1628]
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Clemson Icon [24817]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Ive NOT regretted meeting my bio mom
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Apr 19, 2024, 9:29 AM
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Hey that’s pretty cool, is this your personal story?
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CU Guru [1628]
TigerPulse: 76%
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Re: Ive NOT regretted meeting my bio mom
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Apr 19, 2024, 3:45 PM
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Yes sir it is.
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110%er [3673]
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Re: Meeting my mother for the first time
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Apr 19, 2024, 7:29 AM
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Best wishes with meeting your biological mother and family. My oldest son was adopted at birth. His mother was 17 and in foster homes so she gave him up without ever seeing him. I thank her for that sacrifice. We sent her pictures through our attorney for a couple of years until old enough to be identified easily. We told my son that when he turned 18 we would put him in touch with our attorney if he wanted to meet his birth parents. My son has never wanted to. Every case and person is different. Bless your mother for her decision.
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Clemson Icon [24817]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Meeting my mother for the first time
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Apr 19, 2024, 9:33 AM
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I was content with my family and felt like your son. I appreciated the decision she made and thought highly of her because of that. I never desired to seek her out, but now it happened. My parents have passed and I have no siblings, so it is like God knew I needed a family, even if I didn’t!
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Clemson Sports Icon [57741]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Meeting my mother for the first time
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Apr 19, 2024, 7:51 AM
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It's a wonderful life! Another blessing from God...
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TigerNet Icon [155371]
TigerPulse: 100%
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I'm know it is going to be a special moment. Best wishes!!***
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Apr 19, 2024, 9:42 AM
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Orange Immortal [61700]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 1998
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As an adoptive father, I appreciate you sharing.
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Apr 19, 2024, 10:05 AM
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Wishing you all the best as you move forward on this journey.
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Orange Blooded [2566]
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Re: Meeting my mother for the first time
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Apr 19, 2024, 10:32 AM
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that's great stuff. You're better off than Cary Grant the movie star, whose mother mysteriously disappeared and was presumed dead to him when he was only eleven. And he discovered way later in life - after he had become the leading movie star in the world - that she was, in fact, alive all that time. He did re=unite with her, though, and cultivated a half-decent relationship from there on out - the best that he could.
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Clemson Icon [24817]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Meeting my mother for the first time
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Apr 19, 2024, 11:02 AM
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Never heard that story. Well not famous or wealthy, but rich in other ways
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All-Time Great [89382]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Thats awesome***
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Apr 19, 2024, 11:18 AM
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Orange Blooded [4083]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Best wishes for your meeting
1
Apr 19, 2024, 3:19 PM
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Sounds like your feet are well-planted.
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Clemson Icon [24817]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Best wishes for your meeting
1
Apr 19, 2024, 3:30 PM
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Could’ve been adopted by Coots lol
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Clemson Sports Icon [56236]
TigerPulse: 100%
59
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Joined: 2019
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Re: Meeting my mother for the first time
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Apr 19, 2024, 5:03 PM
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Best of luck to you. I truly hope it goes well.
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Clemson Icon [24817]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Meeting my mother for the first time
Apr 19, 2024, 5:07 PM
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Thanks Pig® !! How is retirement going? Trips upcoming?
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Tiger Titan [51698]
TigerPulse: 100%
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I bet itll be bittersweet***
Apr 19, 2024, 5:42 PM
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Trainer [35]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Meeting my mother for the first time
1
Apr 19, 2024, 7:07 PM
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That’s awesome to hear! The same thing happened to my mother-in-law through ancestry.com. She found her father when she was 67. Her mom gave her up for adoption without her dad knowing she was born. Her adoptive parents never had other kids so she went her whole life as an only child to discovering that she has 3 brothers and 4 sisters. I hope your meeting goes great!
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Clemson Icon [24817]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Meeting my mother for the first time
Apr 19, 2024, 7:30 PM
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Thanks and that is an awesome story. I have three siblings on my birth fathers side, but they were not told about me, so I didn’t pursue it
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All-TigerNet [5711]
TigerPulse: 94%
39
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Re: Meeting my mother for the first time
1
Apr 20, 2024, 9:00 AM
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You are probably right not to pursue that,it could end up like
one of those LMN movies where another sibling appears they didn't
know about and then the war is on.LOL!
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Clemson Icon [24817]
TigerPulse: 100%
54
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Re: Meeting my mother for the first time
Apr 20, 2024, 12:34 PM
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Plus they also have a fair amount of money, which as we know can cause a lot of problems if they think someone is trying to get it lol. Have a good dayirmotig®. Used to have some big battles when I was young in Summerville with y’all
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Hall of Famer [9046]
TigerPulse: 100%
43
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Re: Meeting my mother for the first time
1
Apr 20, 2024, 9:19 AM
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Good Luck man! I am 39 and adopted as well. I have never met my birth mother or father but wouldn't be opposed to it. Who knows, maybe it one day it will happen for me as well
I truly hope it to goes well buddy
Clemsonohiotiger®
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National Champion [7853]
TigerPulse: 100%
42
Posts: 15768
Joined: 2001
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Thats awesome, best of luck and heres hoping
1
Apr 20, 2024, 4:05 PM
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they aren’t Coots. 😜
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Clemson Icon [24817]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Thats awesome, best of luck and heres hoping
Apr 20, 2024, 10:03 PM
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Actually they live in Michigan in a small tourist town of Lake Michigan so they Wolverines
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Game Day Hero [4107]
TigerPulse: 61%
36
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Re: Meeting my mother for the first time
Apr 21, 2024, 11:39 AM
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Very happy for you and hopes it all works out
I know someone who was in a similar situation and then found his birth mother who unfortunately had died six months earlier
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