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Replies: 8
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Ultimate Tiger [34376]
TigerPulse: 100%
56
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Joined: 2014
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Pulling Monday 'Dad Jokes' from the Dad-A-Base
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Oct 6, 2025, 7:35 AM
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Yep...that's where they be stored! (Groan, I don't mind!)
What do you call a typo on a headstone?
A grave mistake! (Bet you thought BigAl31® was doing these!  )
It's ok to talk to yourself...even ok to answer yourself...
But when you ask yourself to repeat what you've just said...
Yep...you have a problem!
Strap in, Folks!
A man walks into a bar and notices a banner...'Do 3 simple tasks, win a million dollars'. He asks the bartender, "Is that legit?" Bartender replies, "Oh yeah, do the 3, win a million."
The man replies, "Alright..what are they?"
The bartender replies, pointing at a mountain of a man, "The first task...you see that man at the end of the bar? You knock him out with one punch!"
"Then, out back I have a 12 foot alligator. You need to keep her alive and awake and pull her bad tooth out. Last, I've got an 89 year-old woman upstairs who has been looking for someone to please her. You do that and get all three things done...you get a million dollars."
The man says he'll do it and orders ten shots and downs them all back to back. Then, stumbling to the end of the bar, BOOM, knocks the guy out with one punch. Stumbling out the back door he heads to the alligator. All you hear is yelling, pleading, screaming...and about 20 minutes pass.
The man walks back in, covered in blood, clothes ripped to shreds, and looks at the bartender and asks, "Alright man, where's the old lady with the bad tooth?" (Yikes!)
Kick-start the week with a splendid Monday, Tiger Nation! Go Tigers, ALWAYS!
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Oculus Spirit [42678]
TigerPulse: 100%
57
Posts: 15771
Joined: 2014
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Re: Pulling Monday 'Dad Jokes' from the Dad-A-Base
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Oct 6, 2025, 7:42 AM
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A 3 foot, 3 inch tall man knocked at my door this morning. I said “who are you?” He said “I am the meter man”.
What's the different between Black Eyed Peas and Chick Peas?
Black Eyed Peas can sing us a song.
Chick Peas can hummus one.
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Paw Warrior [4999]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Pulling Monday 'Dad Jokes' from the Dad-A-Base
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Oct 6, 2025, 7:49 AM
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A magician was walking down the street, then he turned into a store... :0)
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TigerNet Eternal Icon [184701]
TigerPulse: 100%
70
Posts: 50673
Joined: 2007
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How do you get a Kleenex to dance?
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Oct 6, 2025, 7:51 AM
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Put a little boogie in it.
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Oculus Spirit [40204]
TigerPulse: 100%
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What is the most harmless number? That would benign.
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Oct 6, 2025, 7:57 AM
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I thought my wife was cheating on me, but she left because I made bad coffee. She said it was grounds for divorce. Her decision was instant… but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world. Someday you'll understand that. Now, now. Here's looking at you, kid.
I spent a lot of time searching for a U2 song that was stuck in my head. I still haven’t found what I’m looking for. I need a pro-Bono investigator to help.
What did Peter Frampton say to Little Miss Muffet? Oh baby I love your whey.
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Game Changer [1602]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Like my 'ol Pappy used to say, "I ain't got much, but what I got...
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Oct 6, 2025, 8:38 AM
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...ain't much!"
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Legend [6715]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Pulling Monday 'Dad Jokes' from the Dad-A-Base
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Oct 6, 2025, 8:55 AM
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Some things us old guys say……
1. You and what army?
2. Look what the cat dragged in.
3. Working hard or hardly working?
4. What’s the damage?
5. Nice blinker.
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Clemson Sports Icon [56752]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Pulling Monday 'Dad Jokes' from the Dad-A-Base
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Oct 6, 2025, 9:45 AM
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My goldfish are named Major, Minor, Dorian, Lydian and Diminished.
The only way I can tell them apart is by their scales.
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Paw Warrior [4999]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Pulling Monday 'Dad Jokes' from the Dad-A-Base
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Oct 6, 2025, 1:43 PM
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not heard this one...cool joke!
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