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CU Medallion [66209]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 24762
Joined: 6/12/14
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GITT with an awkward confession
Jun 1, 2017, 9:01 AM
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Since OJ has been jailed in Nevada, he asked me to continue his search for the real killers of his ex-wife and Ron. To be honest, I've been slack on the job, spending more time in dives, playing pool with the excrement of society and, frankly, sleeping off benders.
I sheepishly admit this to you in an attempt to garner the slightest bit of sympathy to my plight.
#17
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All-In [43848]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 18149
Joined: 4/24/15
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Every single time Hotsawce has a post that contains the word
Jun 1, 2017, 9:04 AM
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###### I point it. I for some awkward reason find the shock value belly aching funny every single time, even though I'm not really in to homoslurs.
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110%er [5323]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 1951
Joined: 5/17/17
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Same here
Jun 1, 2017, 9:05 AM
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######
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Oculus Spirit [85453]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 24951
Joined: 5/21/14
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Last night I had a dream that Sam Wyche joined the jounge
Jun 1, 2017, 9:06 AM
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and had infinity points.
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All-In [46864]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 30755
Joined: 8/11/15
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Bull ####
Jun 1, 2017, 9:07 AM
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you have a new born.
You didn't get sleep.
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Oculus Spirit [85453]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 24951
Joined: 5/21/14
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Umm, no I don't. Mistaking me for Fluffhead is almost as
Jun 1, 2017, 9:09 AM
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bad as mistaking me for FaceBookcoach
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All-In [46864]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 30755
Joined: 8/11/15
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It's like looking in a mirror***
Jun 1, 2017, 10:55 AM
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CU Medallion [64837]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 22718
Joined: 9/27/04
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Delivery man caught me "tickling it"
Jun 1, 2017, 9:08 AM
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Just moved into the house.
No blinds installed.
Bedroom windows are next to the porch.
Mid-stroke, I felt a presence... like I was being watched.
I turned around to see the delivery man hauling #### off of his porch and back to the delivery truck.
Thank God it wasn't a girl scout troop selling cookies...
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110%er [5323]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 1951
Joined: 5/17/17
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You don't actually sound happy that it wasn't a girl scout
Jun 1, 2017, 9:09 AM
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troop selling, cookies, though.
Confessions have to be honest.
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CU Medallion [64837]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 22718
Joined: 9/27/04
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I prefer Trails End popcorn to the cookies.***
Jun 1, 2017, 9:11 AM
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110%er [6575]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 5488
Joined: 9/22/16
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Re: GITT with an awkward confession
Jun 1, 2017, 9:09 AM
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I delete my old posts to improve my point/post ratio
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Hall of Famer [23693]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 36824
Joined: 8/19/03
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I have this fantasy about chucking it all and moving...
Jun 1, 2017, 9:10 AM
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to Patagonia and taking up beekeeping. I don't even think I'll change my underwear every day.
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CU Medallion [66209]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 24762
Joined: 6/12/14
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Underwear, lol
Jun 1, 2017, 9:12 AM
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5" inseam shorts have a liner in them already
Amirite ? Greenr clemsonrulez08®
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Heisman Winner [105702]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 65246
Joined: 12/2/02
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5" running shorts do. Not so much on the others.
Jun 1, 2017, 9:33 AM
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DEM BAGGIES THOUGH!!!!!!!!!1
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All-In [40657]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 23591
Joined: 1/29/05
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Baggies are ELITE***
Jun 1, 2017, 5:14 PM
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110%er [5323]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 1951
Joined: 5/17/17
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I have a job, a stable relationship, solid finances and
Jun 1, 2017, 9:16 AM
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am happy about it.
A year ago, I could have never envisioned being a normal and functioning member of society.
I don't smoke weed anymore, and I can drink 1 beer and stop.
Life is relatively boring but awesome at the same time.
I probably won't ever post doggy-style nudes of a hookup in WSB again, because I'm probably going to be married in a couple of years.
*thatsfukkinsad.jpg
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CU Medallion [66209]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 24762
Joined: 6/12/14
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There was a reason we all used to live vicariously
Jun 1, 2017, 9:19 AM
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through you. That ended sometime in 2016.
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Hall of Famer [23693]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 36824
Joined: 8/19/03
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I'll be honest though...
Jun 1, 2017, 9:22 AM
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I was done with tent living sometime in the last century.
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Hall of Famer [23693]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 36824
Joined: 8/19/03
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Cheer up.
Jun 1, 2017, 9:21 AM
[ in reply to I have a job, a stable relationship, solid finances and ] |
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In thirty years or so, you'll have a couple of grown kids who either can't find a job after college because they majored in crap or refuse to graduate from college because they don't know how to do it college and refuse to learn. You'll want every day to retire from your dead end job that sucks the life out of you but you can't because these parasites, that you actually do love somehow and are still hopeful that they will in some way live better lives than you, will someday remove themselves from your payroll.
You, you're doing fine.
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Oculus Spirit [79292]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 24955
Joined: 8/29/12
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110%er [5323]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 1951
Joined: 5/17/17
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Nope, I deleted, but 19B ninja posted here for like 5 mins
Jun 1, 2017, 10:09 AM
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Sorry
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Heisman Winner [138089]
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Joined: 10/22/00
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I don't recall that, but if you say so.
Jun 1, 2017, 11:34 AM
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I mean, it sounds like something I'd do.
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110%er [6575]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 5488
Joined: 9/22/16
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I wen't to a mexican restaurant yesterday
Jun 1, 2017, 9:18 AM
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and didn't order a beer. I can't remember the last time I didn't order a beer at a restaurant. It felt so awkward.
On a positive note the bill was only like $20. Forgot how cheap it was to go out and not drink
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CU Medallion [54758]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 52802
Joined: 10/1/03
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i've never heard of this***
Jun 2, 2017, 9:00 AM
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All-In [38925]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 22731
Joined: 3/17/11
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Re: GITT with an awkward confession
Jun 1, 2017, 9:21 AM
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my 65 yr old husband will not leave me alone at night, he just doesn't understand me being tired. Ater being retired for just one yr, he's forgot whats it like to work 10 hours days and have errands and such to do after work.
I love him dearly but Dear Abbey what should I do about feeling pressured into nightly sex.
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CU Medallion [66209]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 24762
Joined: 6/12/14
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Sounds like
Jun 1, 2017, 9:23 AM
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you need to give him some afternoon delight
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110%er [6575]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 5488
Joined: 9/22/16
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CU Medallion [64837]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 22718
Joined: 9/27/04
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Heisman Winner [105702]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 65246
Joined: 12/2/02
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I've never had sex***
Jun 1, 2017, 9:36 AM
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110%er [5323]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 1951
Joined: 5/17/17
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With a girl, you mean?***
Jun 1, 2017, 9:38 AM
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Heisman Winner [105702]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 65246
Joined: 12/2/02
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DONT BE GROCE***
Jun 1, 2017, 9:41 AM
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Oculus Spirit [79292]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 24955
Joined: 8/29/12
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I actually responded to LLL's post yesterday
Jun 1, 2017, 9:43 AM
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I thought about TU'ing one of his posts cause it was funny, but then I got control of myself.
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110%er [5323]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 1951
Joined: 5/17/17
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I won't TU his posts not because he's not funny,
Jun 1, 2017, 9:47 AM
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but because his profile pic looks like that of an AIDS-ridden meth head.
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All-In [40353]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 23466
Joined: 7/13/12
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after reading the chart that ELCID posted last week
Jun 1, 2017, 9:52 AM
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I measured over the weekend to see where I stack up.
sorry el cid, it was your chart.
Message was edited by: fluffhead®
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Oculus Spirit [79292]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 24955
Joined: 8/29/12
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Whale?***
Jun 1, 2017, 9:56 AM
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All-In [40353]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 23466
Joined: 7/13/12
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from my research
Jun 1, 2017, 10:13 AM
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girth is equal to the distance from thumb tip to tip of pointer finger
length is equal to the distance from base of palm to tip of middle finger
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Hall of Famer [21273]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 12487
Joined: 9/23/06
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CU Medallion [66209]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 24762
Joined: 6/12/14
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Typical yankee, day late, dollar short***
Jun 1, 2017, 10:01 AM
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110%er [6575]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 5488
Joined: 9/22/16
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Hall of Famer [21273]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 12487
Joined: 9/23/06
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All-In [40353]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 23466
Joined: 7/13/12
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where did i get confused with mclovin?***
Jun 1, 2017, 10:16 AM
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Oculus Spirit [85453]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 24951
Joined: 5/21/14
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All-In [40353]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 23466
Joined: 7/13/12
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don't lump me in with FBcooch
Jun 1, 2017, 10:18 AM
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#nevermybro
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Oculus Spirit [85453]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 24951
Joined: 5/21/14
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Hall of Famer [21273]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 12487
Joined: 9/23/06
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Oh no... this awkward confession thread.
Jun 1, 2017, 10:18 AM
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This is the perfect place for you to go on.
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Oculus Spirit [85453]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 24951
Joined: 5/21/14
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But then you would know that McStepsister
Jun 1, 2017, 10:28 AM
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measured my peen when I was 17 years old and it would be awkward. Plus I don't want to tell a bunch of strangers any more detail than I already have about relations with a step-sister.
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Head Coach [764]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 281
Joined: 1/17/16
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This is gonna sound weird
Jun 1, 2017, 10:21 AM
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But, I have trouble sleeping sometimes...I'll wake up and my mind starts running and it's hard to stop...but I've found something I can think about that seems to settle me down...here's the weird part...it's Deshaun Watson...plain and simple...I'll replay him in my mind during tense, clutch situations like the final drive in the NCG...dude is so ice cool..it really does have a calming effect.
I'm completely serious.
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Hall of Famer [21273]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 12487
Joined: 9/23/06
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Im not from NY. I have never lived in New York and
Jun 1, 2017, 10:26 AM
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I have only spent about 5 total days in New York.
Just kidding, im a nickel from the bronx.
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Heisman Winner [105702]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 65246
Joined: 12/2/02
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All-In [34823]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 41036
Joined: 2/6/01
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I was sitting in our fraternity lounge one Sunday evening.
Jun 1, 2017, 11:25 AM
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This was before cable and all of that. The Big 3 networks often ran big movies on Sunday nights, and this night was going to be a James Bond movie. I had a prime seat as people began to filter in for the movie. The lounge eventually was full of people, even the floor was 90% occupied.
The movie had begun, and I felt a tremendous bubble gather in just exactly the right spot for a tuba-blast style fart. I waited a second or two to gather the muscles for maximum expulsion pressure. I then raised my self up off of the couch, twisted my butt towards the back of the room, and let loose a thunderous blast that would have made Odin proud.
I prepared for the gales of laughter and critical appraisals of my effort...but none came.
Hotsawce's dad was on the floor in front of me, quaking with suppressed laughter and red in the face with holding it in. Where had I gone wrong? This was the kind of thing that legends are made of, and it was falling flat.
The guy sitting to my right was a pledge from New Jersey, and he was looking at me, wide-eyed, afraid to speak. He finally said, "Did you realize that you just farted right in Vickie's face?"
A fraternity THOT had slipped into the room to my left and slightly behind me, and I indeed had just about blasted her directly in the face. She no doubt felt the shock waves of my vibrating buttcheeks on her eyelashes.
A few of the guys finally started crawling out of the lounge in to the hallway, and you could hear them laughing outside of Norris Hall's thick walls. Some were trying to comment, but were laughing so hard, they couldn't talk. Inside the lounge, still deathly quiet, until Hotsawce's dad said, "SO blatant!!"
Pretty much collapsed all efforts at decorum at that point.
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110%er [5323]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 1951
Joined: 5/17/17
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So did you bang Vickie?***
Jun 1, 2017, 11:28 AM
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All-In [34823]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 41036
Joined: 2/6/01
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I never did.
Jun 1, 2017, 11:31 AM
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Putting me in pretty exclusive company.
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Hall of Famer [21273]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 12487
Joined: 9/23/06
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Lot o points [156046]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 65885
Joined: 5/6/13
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Tave HOtthews Tand***
Jun 1, 2017, 11:38 AM
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CU Medallion [66209]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 24762
Joined: 6/12/14
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Heisman Winner [105702]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 65246
Joined: 12/2/02
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not lit fam, he not keepin' it 100***
Jun 1, 2017, 11:40 AM
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All-In [34823]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 41036
Joined: 2/6/01
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That Hoe Over There
Jun 1, 2017, 11:39 AM
[ in reply to What is a THOT?*** ] |
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We've had this discussion, and I am 60 years old, you whippersnapper. How do I know this word and you don't?
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Hall of Famer [23693]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 36824
Joined: 8/19/03
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Yankees are inbreds.***
Jun 1, 2017, 11:42 AM
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CU Medallion [54758]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 52802
Joined: 10/1/03
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well isn't THAT the pot calling the kettle Uncle,
Jun 2, 2017, 1:24 PM
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or something...
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All-In [40353]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 23466
Joined: 7/13/12
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you can never take a hoe to a hotel
Jun 1, 2017, 11:42 AM
[ in reply to That Hoe Over There ] |
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cus a hoe tell everyone, even the mayor
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Hall of Famer [21273]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 12487
Joined: 9/23/06
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Because I dont lingo much, or keep up with whats cool,
Jun 1, 2017, 11:50 AM
[ in reply to That Hoe Over There ] |
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or have any social media stuff except for tigerwebs, or watch tv, or zulu or flamestick or roko.
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Orange Blooded [3166]
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Posts: 1132
Joined: 10/10/14
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All-In [47795]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 30446
Joined: 11/15/99
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Lot o points [156046]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 65885
Joined: 5/6/13
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I'm not quite sure how to say this, so I'll just put it out
Jun 1, 2017, 11:41 AM
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there.
I like Madonna's True Blue album.
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Hall of Famer [23693]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 36824
Joined: 8/19/03
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Are 'awkward' and 'ludicrous' synonymous?
Jun 1, 2017, 11:46 AM
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Just posing the question.
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110%er [6575]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 5488
Joined: 9/22/16
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I just watched an entire Destiny's Child music video
Jun 2, 2017, 8:52 AM
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and kinda enjoyed it
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50
