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CU Medallion [20335]
TigerPulse: 100%
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'Dad Joke-ish', Inflation Edition
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Mar 5, 2025, 7:11 AM
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I'm confused how a cemetery can raise its funeral prices and blame it on the cost of living!
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent. 
Go Tigers...smash BC!
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Top TigerNet [32654]
TigerPulse: 100%
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What do you call a singing laptop? A Dell
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Mar 5, 2025, 7:24 AM
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I asked the librarian if they had any books on paranoia. She wispered "They're right behind you".
Two sattelite dishes got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was incredible.
My neighbor blamed my loose gravel for making him fall, but it was his dumb asphalt.
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Paw Master [16945]
TigerPulse: 100%
51
Posts: 21873
Joined: 2007
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Re: What do you call a singing laptop? A Dell
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Mar 5, 2025, 8:47 AM
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+1 for the "dumb asphalt"!
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Paw Master [16252]
TigerPulse: 100%
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What do you call cheap circumcision?
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Mar 5, 2025, 7:38 AM
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A 'Rip-Off'!!
What do Santa's helpers learn in school?
The 'Elf-abet'!!
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Rival Killer [3018]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: 'Dad Joke-ish', Inflation Edition
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Mar 5, 2025, 7:44 AM
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What did one hat say to the other? "Stay here, I'm going on a head". :0)
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Game Changer [1858]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Doctor, I keep feeling like a deck of cards
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Mar 5, 2025, 7:59 AM
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“I’ll deal with you later!”
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Orange Immortal [68752]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: 'Dad Joke-ish', Inflation Edition
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Mar 5, 2025, 8:19 AM
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How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
Justice is a dish best served cold.
Otherwise, it's just water.
Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle?
You might denture car.
Why are Christmas trees bad at knitting?
They always drop their needles.
What did the lunch box say to the refrigerator?
Don't hate me because I'm a little cooler.
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Orange Phenom [14716]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: 'Dad Joke-ish', Inflation Edition
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Mar 5, 2025, 8:29 AM
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My neighbor said the grass be wet in the morning, I said, “yea it dew.”
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Top TigerNet [31266]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: 'Dad Joke-ish', Inflation Edition
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Mar 5, 2025, 8:30 AM
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Why should you never trust an atom?
Cause they make up everything!
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All-Pro [743]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: 'Dad Joke-ish', Inflation Edition
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Mar 5, 2025, 8:46 AM
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How do lawyers say goodbye?
We'll be suing you!
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Ultimate Clemson Legend [98865]
TigerPulse: 100%
64
Posts: 25956
Joined: 2006
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lol, +1***
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Mar 5, 2025, 8:54 AM
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TigerNet Immortal [165575]
TigerPulse: 100%
69
Posts: 46879
Joined: 2007
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Long for a Dad Joke but topical
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8
Mar 5, 2025, 9:20 AM
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A hip young Episcopalian priest and his smoking hot girlfriend get married the first weekend in March. The senior priest tells him to enjoy the honeymoon as long as he is back in time to help with Easter services.
The loving couple goes straight to an exotic island right after the ceremony for their honeymoon. When it comes time for bed, the smoking hot wife puts on a skimpy negligee and waits for her new husband to come to bed. He comes out of the bathroom, gives her a peck on the cheek and goes to sleep. She's a little disappointed but figures he is tired from the wedding, late flight, and getting from the airport to the hotel.
They get up and spend their first day riding jet skis and snorkeling. All day long the new husband is very flirtatious and obviously smitten by his smoking hot wife. That night after a late luxurious supper, the smoking hot wife puts on a skimpy negligee and waits for her new husband to come to bed. He comes out of the bathroom, gives her a peck on the cheek and goes to sleep. She's beginning to wonder what is going on but figures he is tired from the long day of fun and adventure.
Day 2 and they ride mopeds all over the island, go shopping and parasailing. Again it is obvious the new husband is very much in love. That evening the smoking hot wife puts on a skimpy negligee and waits for her new husband to come to bed. He comes out of the bathroom, gives her a peck on the cheek and goes to sleep.
She's not having any of this three nights in a row and shakes him awake to ask him, "do you find me unattractive?" He replies “oh, no, you are smoking hot!" So she asks him why each night he kisses her on the cheek and goes to sleep instead of consummating their marriage.
He replies - "it's quite simple my dear, it's Lent."
To which she replies -
To whom and for how long!!!!!
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Tiger Spirit [9620]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: 'Dad Joke-ish', Inflation Edition
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Mar 5, 2025, 9:57 AM
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Do not touch, must be one of the scariest things to read in Braille.
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Top TigerNet [31989]
TigerPulse: 100%
55
Posts: 13955
Joined: 2014
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Re: 'Dad Joke-ish', Inflation Edition
3
Mar 5, 2025, 2:32 PM
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What kind of animals make the best detectives?
Investi-gators.
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Hall of Famer [8543]
TigerPulse: 100%
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What did Tennessee?
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5
Mar 5, 2025, 2:35 PM
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Same thing Arkansas.
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Replies: 14
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