Hey, you're vertical! That's a decent start! Right?
What do you call 50 pigs and 50 deer? 100 sows and bucks! (Uh huh...)
A man visits his grandpa in the hospital, asking, “How are you grandpa?” “Feeling fine,” gramps replies.
“What’s the food like?”, asks the grandson, “And the nursing?” “Terrific, great menus…and these young nurses really take care of you,” answered grampa. “How’s your sleep?” grandson pressed on. “Not a problem…solid nine hours every night. At 10 o’clock, they bring me a cup of hot chocolate and a vi@-gra...and that’s it…out like a light!” gramps informed him.
Grandson is puzzled…even a bit alarmed and dashes off to speak with the nurse in charge. “What are you people doing?” he boomed. “You’re giving a 95 year old man a Vi@-gra daily? That can’t be true!”
“Oh, yes,” the nurse advised. “Each night at 10 o’clock, he gets a cup of hot chocolate and a Vi@-gra tablet. It works wonderfully…the chocolate helps him sleep and the Vi@-gra stops him from rolling out of bed!”
Cool and wet in the Low Country...more than acceptable after the past week or so! Have a splendid day, Tiger Nation!
Today I learned the navy doesn’t build their subs. They use a sub contractor. This joke is subpar; it’s about as funny as a screen door on a submarine. It doesn’t mention the sub sandwiches from Subway, the seamen, or the “I sea what you did there.”
What’s a math teacher’s favorite place to go on vacation? Times Square. Least favorite? The Bermuda Triangle. Are math teachers the only ones that call a route a root?
What do you call an accordion player with a pager? An optimist. The 90s called and wants its joke back.
There was a poetry competition final with two contestants, a university student and an old country man. They each had 20 seconds to come up with a poem about Timbuktu.
The student goes first and says "Across the desert sands, crossed a lonely caravan, men on camels two by two, destination Timbuktu."
The crowd goes wild cheering for the poem.
The old country man then goes, "Tim and I off hunting went, found some girls in a pop up tent, they were three and we were two, I buck one and Tim buck two."
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