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Replies: 14
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CU Medallion [64837]
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Speaking of Mail Fraud (story time)
Feb 12, 2021, 8:36 AM
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The thread about buying edibles online made me think about a pretty funny story from my formative years.
Backstory:
Growing up, there was an abandoned house on the back 40 of our place. My brother, myself, and our cousins used it as our playhouse. We had a room that was wall to wall mattresses that we would have wrestlemania in. We had a room dedicated for roller hockey. We had a small closet (jack shack) that was wall to wall britney spears posters we ripped out of Teen Beat magazines. We had every wall cavity stuffed with stolen pornog, cigars, cigarettes, mini-bottles, you name it. The whole house was powered by some 12V Caterpillar batteries that we lifted from a construction site. It was one of the coolest "hang-outs" ever. We spent nearly every weekend night and summer night in that house from age 12 until I was nearly done with college. By the time I graduated we would have parties with 30-40 people out there.
That's not the point of the story though... just a rambling aside.
Here's the actual story:
Back before the days of accessible internet pornog, good old analog paper magazines were the way to go. We had pushed our luck stealing dirty magazines from Barnes and Noble, and really didn't want to get busted doing that. The plan was to install a mailbox at this abandoned house, and subscribe to every pornog magazine imaginable and have them delivered to the fake mailbox. We were going to subscribe to the magazine using an envelope full of cash. Anyway, it never worked. My dad found us trying to install a mailbox and told us we couldn't do it.
Now that I think about it, it really isn't that great of a story, but I've put so much effort into typing it that I might as well post it.
Sorry for wasting y'alls time.
FYT, one of my personal favorites from that time...
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Heisman Winner [119705]
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Ya sure there was no ghey activities in said back40 house?***
Feb 12, 2021, 8:40 AM
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CU Medallion [64837]
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just boys being boys
Feb 12, 2021, 8:42 AM
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All-In [43681]
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Hey, be careful with what you post.
Feb 12, 2021, 8:40 AM
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I'm not. That. Innocent.
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All-In [46825]
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Re: Hey, be careful with what you post.
Feb 12, 2021, 8:53 AM
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Oculus Spirit [97719]
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A real "sand lot" kinda story. With a little Stand by Me
Feb 12, 2021, 8:48 AM
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mixed in.
Now, welcome to adulthood. Midlife crisis time. Here she is:
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Oculus Spirit [75717]
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That is just a lil pitna on your 56 Ford pickup.
Feb 12, 2021, 9:15 AM
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It'll be fine.
That undercarriage may have some rot though.
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All-In [46825]
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We had a network of hiding spots
Feb 12, 2021, 8:52 AM
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1 was my uncle's clubhouse. They would have parties there every Friday night. Leave booze, cigars, etc laying around. Me and my buddy would hit it up Saturday morning and be drunk by 12. They quickly figured it out and started locking the doors.
The other place was in Pee Wee Gaskin's old house (yes the serial killer). The back part lived an old OBED couple. The front part was our go-cart shop that use to be a gas station/well pump repair shop.
Then we got our hands on a small (maybe 8x10) camper. This was during the winter so we took an old pot belly stove and put it in there. Probably had it at 95 degrees when fully rolling.
So much pron mags and JO sessions, smoking, drinking, all kinds of debauchery for a middle schooler.
Kids these days are different.
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Oculus Spirit [97719]
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We had the "slave houses"
Feb 12, 2021, 9:01 AM
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Our pristine suburban neighborhood sat on what was once a plantation. The family sold all the nearby land to developers (hence our neighborhood). Well, landowner retained about 40-50 acres of woods, and they had an old plantation house there, like original before the city moved out there. Anyway, in the woods behind the house were these old heart-pine tin-roofed sheds.
We used to play in those woods and the old abandoned shacks were just like they'd been left there one day and the woods took over. One shack had an old rotted out car (1920's or earlier) parked in it. We put a fake skeleton in the driver's seat.
The biggest of the shacks had all kinds of papers strewn about. AND, it came with a nice collection of some of the earliest Playboy magazines. Saturday Evening Posts, and a library with the entire correspondence of the confederate army during the civil war. Was thousands of pages.
So yeah, we grabbed the playboys, made fires with the rest. Drank. Smoked, and eventually used the tin from the roofs for a tree house palace we later built.
And alas all cool things come to an end. Mrs. Hampton cleared the woods and houses to have a super-boojie wedding for some family member. Luckily that was when I was in college. But the old shacks are long gone from the property now. Woods are opened and cleared. Just kinda sad. Heck, one day she caught us a little too close to the plantation house and we were scared she'd call the cops. Instead, she offered us milk and cookies.
(side note - We called the "slave houses", but in reality I'm pretty sure they were houses for share-croppers in the early 1900's. Mrs. Hampton told us that anyway, over milk and cookies)
/end cool story bro
Message was edited by: Tiggity®
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Oculus Spirit [97719]
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Wow. Cool link
Feb 12, 2021, 9:37 AM
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https://south-carolina-plantations.com/richland/woodlands.html![]() Information about Woodlands Plantation, including its location, history, land, crops, owners, slaves, buildings, and current status.
https://theclio.com/entry/92426 Woodlands - Clio Frank Hampton, Jr. was the builder of Woodlands, on part of his family's former cotton plantation ("Old Woodlands"  . The historic wood frame two-story home was built in 1896 in a Folk Victorian style from timber cut and milled on the property. Woodlands was listed in the National Register in 2006 for the integrity and workmanship of its architectural style and for its association with Frank's son, Harry R. E. Hampton, who lived here from his birth in 1897 to his death in 1980. Harry was a conservationist and columnist for his family's newspaper, The State. The home passed to Harry's daughter and remains a private residence.
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Heisman Winner [105561]
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Ahhhh, the button fly, nothing like trying to get that open
Feb 12, 2021, 8:57 AM
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in a hurry before her parents get home.
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CU Medallion [64837]
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"Ahhhh, the button fly, nothing like trying to get that open
Feb 12, 2021, 9:27 AM
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in a hurry before her our parents get home."
- McLovin
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Oculus Spirit [78876]
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How much banging did you and your cousins do in the
Feb 12, 2021, 9:36 AM
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old abandoned house on the back 40 or you property? You guys ever touch tips and see if the pre would fuse together to create an inseparable bond, much like your criminal lust for one another, you know, for the goof?
/r/jobuds
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CU Medallion [64837]
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None that I care to share with you guys.
Feb 12, 2021, 9:41 AM
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But I did pop SarahAdidas's cherry out there... right in the Wrestlemania room.
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Oculus Spirit [78876]
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Yea you did.***
Feb 12, 2021, 9:42 AM
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