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Yes I went… Graceland, Disney World, Mecca, The Holy Grail
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Yes I went… Graceland, Disney World, Mecca, The Holy Grail


Feb 24, 2021, 11:17 AM

of seafood. That’s right you ratbastards I’m talking about






Hear’s my official review.

So my oldest daughter’s birthday was last night and for weeks she’s been talking about going to Red Lobster since we pass the one on Pleasantburg a lot and I always say “if you kids don’t behave I’m going to take your to Dead Lobster.” We tried to talk her out of it, but it’s her ####### birthday for crying out loud.

The Crew:
Tickle_It, Birfday girl (7), middle girl (4), Tickle_It_Jr (2), Wife_of (no pigs)

Check-in:

So you get to give your name to the hostess and they text you when your table’s ready. Good thing Tickle_It has the premo Honda van with the TV so the kids can watch Trolls while we wait 30 minutes

Ombiance:

First of all, major disappoint because they didn’t have no lobsters in the tank. Guess they all got Covid. Thanks Biden. N-E waize, it literally has all the same #### on the walls they had when I was a kid and we’d eat there on my sister’s birthday because she liked that nassy food too. True story thou, them pictures on the walls was actually surprisingly clean and not beat to hayull. And to Tickle_it’s major surprise, they actually did asseptable social distancing, which is nice to not be right next to all the other fats and nassys.

The Spread:

When in Rome. Of course the birfday girl wanted Lobster. Sure honey, order that #### right up, it’s your day. Middle girl got shramp and they both shared since they both wanted to try each. Tickle_It and wife got that Twofer Tuesday with the Lobster, shramps, and salmon. Sides were Bake Tater and grean beens. Jr ate off our plates. Wife got fried broosle sprouts and mash taters.

The Presentation:

Ok, beer with me hear, I had low expectations. Those were met. Gut Lawd, ever thang had Garlic chunks on it. I mean I’m no Booby Flay, butt I don’t think they have the seasoning part fingered out yet. It’s like someone’s like, “hay, we got all these seafoods hear, what do about it”? “Dunno maine, just cover it with as much garlic shreads as humanly possible”. MMMMKay. It was true seafood cause all my entrée’s were swimming in a sea of that doodoo garlic butter. I mean If I poured it into a cup, it’d go halfway up the straw.

Hittling the Pallet:

So yeah, it was pretty much just soggy garlic meat. Birfday girl loved it though and was enthrawled with the butter sawce to dip it in. I shoudda got the coconut shrimp like my head told me, but the heart wants wat the heart wants. Tell you what though, that baked tater was on point. By far the best part of the meal. Didn’t eat the cheddar bay bizkits because groce. Couldn’t eat the grean beens since they were in a moat of garlic butter. (Tickle_it has long had a garlic allergy, and by allergy I mean it cawses the exploseshits before leaving the restaurants).

The Staff:

Ackshually one of the best waitresses I ever had. Was nice to the kids despite them being little kids and got us ever thang we needed. Tickle_it is a good tipper, and no UDP, so she got that 25% tipperoni.

The Feels:

Whale birfday girl was getting sick by the end of it. I don’t blame her with the amount of greasefood she ate. Tickle_it was smart and ate light, but on the way home, audible stomach gurgles were audible and wife_of was laughing hard. We all knew wat was behind door number 2: a nice gooseshit with perhaps enough recoil to paint the bottom of the terlit seat. I mean come on…tickle_it gets the gooseshits sometimes after eating chicken noodle soup, no telling what this garlic shipwreck’s gonna do. Both wife and I had to brush teefs immediately and take a shower to get that taste and feel off (no pigs of me in the shower).

Final Outcome:

I dint throw up out my butt but I would still never go back. Wife also confirmed this so there’s one checkbox marked off. Kids were dissapionted because no live lobsters in the tank.


TL;DR

Went to Dead Lobster for 7 yearold’s birfday. Ate greasy garlic lobsters. Staff was nice, kids had a blast, we all felt sick but didn’t get sick.


THE END

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THREE KIDS? LOOK AT THIS GUY WHO CAN'T STOP HAVING KIDS


Feb 24, 2021, 11:24 AM

IT'S A HOOHAA, NOT A CLOWN CAR

2024 purple level memberringofhonor-greenr.jpg flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

Does it feel good to rub ur pekker in a clown car til it


Feb 24, 2021, 12:09 PM

sneezes too?



Asking for a frand

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Man, Greenr has become an increasingly


Feb 24, 2021, 12:10 PM [ in reply to THREE KIDS? LOOK AT THIS GUY WHO CAN'T STOP HAVING KIDS ]

sassybich the past year or so about his misplaced reputation of having 12 kids. We all know he only has like 8.

Show us the FIRE Greenr!!!!

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Can't hide money***


Feb 24, 2021, 11:25 AM



badge-donor-05yr.jpgringofhonor-clemsonrulez08.jpg flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

Please forgive me, @IneligibleUser


So you didn’t eat cheddar bay biscuits?


Feb 24, 2021, 11:27 AM

I’m confused. Are you sure you were at Red Lobster? Isn’t that like eating at Olive Garden but not having salad and breadsticks?

Tell the truth... you’re doing Atkins.

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Uh yeah, it was totally Red Lobster


Feb 24, 2021, 12:05 PM

and I didn't eat them because They seem groce.

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I'm right there with you....it's bread with butter and chees


Feb 24, 2021, 12:11 PM

e. All 3 of those things are so disgusting.

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that GAHlic butter baked in


Feb 24, 2021, 12:12 PM

Groceroni

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Eating puzzie seems gross, but we still do it.


Feb 24, 2021, 12:12 PM [ in reply to Uh yeah, it was totally Red Lobster ]

And it’s worth it.

So are the cheddar bay biscuits. (I’ve only had them once. But I seem to remember them being salty delicious crumbly bread thingys, that I enjoyed.)

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One of the 2 has a stankhole right beside it


Feb 24, 2021, 12:15 PM

and I'd rather eat that

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I’d eat the cheddar bay biscuit right out of that!***


Feb 24, 2021, 12:45 PM



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They're quite possibly the only redeeming quality of


Feb 24, 2021, 12:44 PM [ in reply to Uh yeah, it was totally Red Lobster ]

Red Lobster.

badge-donor-05yr.jpgringofhonor-clemsonrulez08.jpg flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

Please forgive me, @IneligibleUser


12/10 wood reed a ginn***


Feb 24, 2021, 12:13 PM



2024 purple level member flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

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