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Fickle Parents
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Fickle Parents


Feb 3, 2020, 9:29 AM

Praise their children when they bring home an A

Disappointed when they bring home a D

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give me some parenting advice,


Feb 3, 2020, 9:37 AM

we have been very fortunate. Our son is in the third grade and has done well at school. No grade below an A-. I feel eventually he will bring home a "C" or possibly a "D". I have often thought of how to handle this. What would be your advice?

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It all depends on their abilities and what they SHOULD have


Feb 3, 2020, 9:40 AM

made in the class.

The main thing is you should let them know every day that they should always do their best at whatever they undertake.

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don't show up to his games...


Feb 3, 2020, 9:40 AM [ in reply to give me some parenting advice, ]

oh wait

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Re: give me some parenting advice,


Feb 3, 2020, 9:44 AM [ in reply to give me some parenting advice, ]

Talk to the teacher, help with the homework, and make sure you are involved. Sometimes my parents gave me too long of a leash with trust. Usually if a kid brings home a C or D it is because he got too far behind and couldnt catch up properly.

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Re: give me some parenting advice,


Feb 3, 2020, 9:49 AM

I am extremely involved with my son, help with his homework and when he reads, I read with him and we discuss what we have read together. He seems to be extremely intelligent and is open with me. I stay behind him and I also want him to be an eight year old. I honestly do not believe he will bring home bad grades as long as his mother and I continue to be involved.

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seriously...


Feb 3, 2020, 9:54 AM

keep doing what you are doing...keep it fun, but also maintain reasonable boundaries. Keep limits on electronics as he gets older.

Don't let him get on tnet. It's a time waster.

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Re: give me some parenting advice,


Feb 3, 2020, 9:55 AM [ in reply to Re: give me some parenting advice, ]

That's good. When my parents split when I was 12, I then had a single Mom who was working long hours. My Dad lived in a different state. Nobody checked my grades, talked about school, or even paid attention. I was raised with money on the counter to go buy my dinner. I had all A's and maybe a B here and there before that. When parents arent involved, grades can easily slip. I got into Clemson on the waiting list. Thats when Clemson was easier to get into as well.

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Re: give me some parenting advice,


Feb 3, 2020, 9:59 AM

I know it is hard on him living with divorced parents but he has handled it well. I don't see him making any grades lower than a "B". If or when he does, I know he is going to be disappointed. I don't want to be my dad and pull the belt off. I want it to be a positive but encouraging for him to bring it back up to an "A".

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there is negative reinforcement that doesn't involve...


Feb 3, 2020, 10:05 AM

the belt. You have to take away something that he likes.

I like positive reinforcement for doing something big or achieving a goal or being consistent over a period of time.

I DO NOT like positive reinforcement for doing something you are supposed to do on a daily basis. There are some things in life we just have to do. But big things, yes.

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agree. the belt is not the best problem solver for a child


Feb 3, 2020, 10:22 AM

rarely getting into trouble.

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Re: give me some parenting advice,


Feb 3, 2020, 9:46 AM [ in reply to give me some parenting advice, ]

Use the immortal words of Yoda, "There is not TRY, only do or do not." Let them fail, don't praise for trying, because then they think the results are acceptable (everyone gets a trophy mentality), but help them learn from their failures, why did you make this D? Did you put forth the effort to earn an A or was your effort deserving of a D? Teach them to build off of the success of an A and remember the sting of a D/f.

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Go ahead and start working on their burger-flipping***


Feb 3, 2020, 9:48 AM [ in reply to give me some parenting advice, ]



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Snowflake Basher........Out


Thanks.***


Feb 3, 2020, 9:59 AM



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It's not about the final grade, it's all about their effort


Feb 3, 2020, 9:52 AM [ in reply to give me some parenting advice, ]

All kids aren't "A" students just like all kids won't be really good athletes, accomplished dancers, or great singers.

That's just reality.

If kids work extremely hard, study, plan, prepare, but their very best work is a "C", then praise it and celebrate it like crazy.

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Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.


Dude, you don't need any parenting advice.


Feb 3, 2020, 10:41 AM [ in reply to give me some parenting advice, ]

MFO Jr. is fortunate to have a Dad like you. And I say Dad, not father. Being a father is biological. Being a Dad takes a lot of work.

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"Dabo crushed my soul." --- Classof09


From an old parent....


Feb 3, 2020, 12:26 PM [ in reply to give me some parenting advice, ]

A C or D is one thing, but getting in more serious trouble is another. In the first event, challenge him or her to do better because "you have confidence in them, and know they can do it." In both events, it is important to let your children know that there is nothing that they can do to make you stop loving them. Children need to know that they are unconditionally loved...

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Re: give me some parenting advice,


Feb 3, 2020, 9:04 PM [ in reply to give me some parenting advice, ]

Make sure he keeps up with homework, even if you have to google stuff to help explain it to him. You may see a wide range of grades once your child gets into middle and high school with diverse subject matter and teaching styles. Several Spanish teachers commented that our daughter was their best non-Hispanic student, but the Physics teacher was snarky in response to even the simplest question. We would have been disappointed with anything below a 95 in Spanish but cried with happiness when she escaped Physics with a C.

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Pay the teacher and send him to UNC


Feb 3, 2020, 9:47 PM [ in reply to give me some parenting advice, ]

You’re welcome,

Roy Williams

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Re: Fickle Parents


Feb 3, 2020, 10:32 AM

just be as involved as possible and encourage. Making straight a’s doesn’t matter. Our education system is a joke on the global scale. The only reason they need to make all a’s is if they want to get into a four year university. Which most of the time is a scam and way overpriced. We need more kids in trade school at a younger age like Germany. Germany and Japan lead the world in manufacturing. America tries to fool people into thinking they have to get a 4 year degree to be successful. I made b’s and c’s throughout high school, with the occasional d. Went to tech for mechatronics, graduated with a 3.9 and got a job making 34/hr. Some kids aren’t meant to excel in the current system. Once they get out of high school and get into a trade program they are actually interested in they excel.

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Encouragement


Feb 3, 2020, 12:32 PM

I have heard it put this way:
Encouragement is food for the heart, and every heart is a hungry heart...

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Re: Fickle Parents


Feb 3, 2020, 9:27 PM

I currently have 2 kids in the transfer portal

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Relax about your kid's grades.


Feb 4, 2020, 8:12 AM

My oldest got good but not nearly perfect grades in a public elementary school. She was not placed in advanced classes or identified as a gifted and talented student.

In 7th and 8th grade her grades took a turn for the better. She was an outstanding student throughout her public high school years and won a full academic ride to highly ranked major university. She got exceptionally good grades as an undergraduate. She was accepted into a highly ranked medical school. After her first year in medical school, she was awarded a full tuition and fees scholarship.

She's now married, has a child, and has an excellent job as a physician in a major hospital.

My second child likes to say he was a 'walk on' in college, as in no scholarship. He graduated from an excellent school, has a solid job, is married and has a couple of kids.

Relax about the education of your elementary age children. And don't take too much credit or blame for how they turn out. Love'em and encourage them.

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