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YOUR BALANCE
A Little Bit of History
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A Little Bit of History


Mar 10, 2015, 11:48 PM

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals; and
2. Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girliemen.

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

Another interesting evolutionary side note: most liberal women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of interior decorating and trying to get more for nothing.

-Author unknown

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And in the process the Almighty deemed that only good


Mar 11, 2015, 5:56 AM

men and women would attend Clemson.

The rest were relegated to lesser entities, the least of which is commonly referred to as the University of Soused Carowhinier.

His will be done....

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Not funny


Mar 11, 2015, 7:29 AM

Funny how these "liberal vs conservative" posts usually sound like some immature joke that was made up on a middle school playground SMDH

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get back to sewing.***


Mar 11, 2015, 8:30 AM



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"Anybody that says Coach Brownell is the best coach to come through Clemson is going to start an argument." -JP Hall


while we go kill you something to eat, 13 ....***


Mar 11, 2015, 8:34 AM



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Brad Brownell: Only Larry freaking Shyatt has a WORSE overall winning percentage among Clemson basketball coaches since 1975. Let that sink in. It's Larry Shyatt & then Brad Brownell.


Re: A Little Bit of History


Mar 11, 2015, 7:42 AM

sounds right to me...

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See? This is why conservatives don't have comedy shows.***


Mar 11, 2015, 9:40 AM



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[Catahoula] used to be almost solely a PnR rascal, but now has adopted shidpoasting with a passion. -bengaline

You are the meme master. - RPMcMurphy®

Trump is not a phony. - RememberTheDanny


You really should visit Maui....


Mar 11, 2015, 8:59 PM

I will introduce you to the hunting/fishing/beer drinking/surfing/farming/hard working liberal Hawaiian rednecks who will proceed to kick your conservative ###. If these guys knew how to play football, they would all be NFL linemen.

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