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Paraprosdokians
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Paraprosdokians


Feb 8, 2021, 4:22 PM

The first time I heard about paraprosdokians I said "that's for me". I finally learned they are figures of speech in which the other part of the sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected and frequently humorous. So, let's check out a few.

1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. . . but it's still on my bucket list.

3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right, only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

10. In filling out an application where it says. "in case of an emergency notify..." I answered, "a doctor".

11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

13. I used to be indecisive but now I'm not so sure.

14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first nd call whatever you hit the target.

15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.

16. You are never too old to learn something stupid.

17. I'm supposed to respect my elders but it's getting harder and harder to find someone older than me.

Sadly this is true, Spread the Laughter, Show the Cheer, Let's be Happy, while we're here.
,

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Re: Paraprosdokians


Feb 8, 2021, 4:41 PM

Thank you Joe, you brought laughter into me today.

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Re: Paraprosdokians


Feb 8, 2021, 4:44 PM

I love these to Joe,

1. The secret to success is sincerity, once you can fake that you've got it made
2. I hate being bipolar, its awesome!
3. If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments
4. My girlfriend is always stealing my t-shirts and sweaters... But if I take one of her dresses, suddenly "we need to talk"
5. I have to keep telling myself I'm an adult, and will be charged as an adult.

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Re: Paraprosdokians


Feb 8, 2021, 5:24 PM

Fess up Joe! You just made up that word, right? ??

Thanks for the smiles! (you too, ‘83!)

Message was edited by: Uncle Bill®


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Whatever choice(s) you make makes you. Choose wisely.


These sound like good Mitch Hedberg quotes


Feb 8, 2021, 5:24 PM

For example: I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.

https://www.successories.com/iquote/author/400/mitch-hedberg-quotes/1


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Re: These sound like good Mitch Hedberg quotes


Feb 8, 2021, 5:27 PM

I was just binge watching Mitch Hedberg YT videos this morning! Love that guy!! RIP Mitch.

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Whatever choice(s) you make makes you. Choose wisely.


Re: These sound like good Mitch Hedberg quotes


Feb 8, 2021, 7:16 PM [ in reply to These sound like good Mitch Hedberg quotes ]

Along those lines... “I don’t drink anymore, but I don’t drink any less either.”

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Re: Paraprosdokians


Feb 8, 2021, 6:08 PM

Thanks, Joe, for always bringing the joy!

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Re: Paraprosdokians


Feb 8, 2021, 6:13 PM

THANKS Alot !!!

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great post .....


Feb 8, 2021, 7:16 PM

As an honored veteran this should be your favorite. “war isn’t about who is right ... it’s about who is left”

Many of the great comedians of my day made a living with this kind of humor. Groucho Marx and Henny Youngman were two I vividly remember. They don’t make em’ like that any more,

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Re: Paraprosdokians


Feb 8, 2021, 9:01 PM

Book of Psalms:"a light hearted man has a continual feast".

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Re: Paraprosdokians


Feb 8, 2021, 10:46 PM

Joe, number 11 reminds us that the Y chromosome makes us inherently delusional. Now I can blame it on my dad.

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Re: Paraprosdokians


Feb 9, 2021, 8:29 AM

2/7/1968-Ben Tre South Vietnam-"It became necessary to destroy the town to save it."

3/10/2010-Pelosi-"We have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it..."


Not funny, but good for a double take.

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Re: Paraprosdokians


Feb 9, 2021, 8:30 AM

Good ones

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So true!


Feb 9, 2021, 8:52 AM

:)

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Replies: 14
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