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YOUR BALANCE
Looking for 4 ND for face value....
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Looking for 4 ND for face value....


Sep 28, 2015, 11:42 AM

Hi guys, I'm a long time tiger and 4th gen alumni. In 1986 I lost my legs while painting Tiger paws on 123 when a drunk gamecock fan ran them over.

Anyways, I had my legs cremated and carried them everywhere in a tiger paw shaped amulet, until one night in 1990, I was picketing Max Lennon's house when Danny was fired, and as I was rolling in circles, holding my "I thought this was America, Max Lenin" sign another fan accidentally knocked me over and my amulet was lost in the shuffle.

I got a call last week that they found my leg ashes and I have arranged to go pick them up, and I would love to see the ND game while I'm there. Ideally I would love to scatter them from the top of the north upper deck (sorry AOC tailgaters) so the winds can take them across campus, and I can feel like I am running free on campus again. If I don't get tickets, I'll have to scatter them from the downtown parking deck.

I'd rather not sit in the upper deck for the actual game, so if you can sell me tickets for the lower deck or the boxes, and then throw in a free upper deck ticket, that would be really cool.

I am also bringing several huge tiger fans to the game who have never been to a game before, but they are huge fans. All are decorated war veterans and one of them saved Danny Ford from drowning one time, while another has a pair of Cliff Ellis's practice-worn knee socks as one of his most valued possessions.

Thanks for helping this tiger out---please don't make me scatter my leg ashes from a Tom Winkopp built structure. God Bless.

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Re: Looking for 4 ND for face value.... I have some u can


Sep 28, 2015, 11:45 AM

have for free but they are on the moon. I dont know if you can get there or not. :)

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Moon tickets? Yeah...check with Malik. He's not using his!


Sep 28, 2015, 11:50 AM

Go, Tigers!



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Oh ha-ha, I get it.


Sep 28, 2015, 11:51 AM [ in reply to Re: Looking for 4 ND for face value.... I have some u can ]

Moonwalk....I can't walk. good one.

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Re: Looking for 4 ND for face value....


Sep 28, 2015, 11:53 AM

How do you know For sure they are your ashes?

Isn't that against some law. I feel sorry for anyone walking below you.

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Two reasons:


Sep 28, 2015, 11:56 AM

My uncle used to work in Redfern and once he saved Dr. Harder when he was choking on a shrimp. He also was a genius with ceramics and he made the amulet out of clay sourced by the foundation of Tillman Hall. I'd know that amulet anywhere.

Also, I had some cinnamon mixed in with my ashes, so if I get them back and they don't smell like cinnamon, I know they'll be fake.

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man; do you have no shame, begging on a message board.


Sep 28, 2015, 11:53 AM

smh

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that's as bad as scalping on a message board***


Sep 28, 2015, 11:58 AM



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Hey, thanks for the t-mail......


Sep 28, 2015, 12:01 PM [ in reply to man; do you have no shame, begging on a message board. ]

Yes, everything still works, and it's only weird the first time. Hit me up.

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I hacked OSF's account and sent the Tmail.


Sep 28, 2015, 12:36 PM

You have no idea how weird this can get.

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are you the one stalking beefsteak, also?***


Sep 28, 2015, 1:51 PM



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Don't fool yourself, honey.


Sep 28, 2015, 2:16 PM

I'm stalking obed, beefsteak is so last season. winky

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this isn't 4th of July...***


Sep 28, 2015, 1:52 PM [ in reply to Hey, thanks for the t-mail...... ]



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my God "Obed"...I have never laughed so hard from a TNet post in 6 yrs! ??


Sep 28, 2015, 2:00 PM

Besides, your post was full of little tidbits that were highly humorous to those in the know of the stadium, Danny's situation, President Lennin (meant Lennon), etc.

HOF humor award to you Sir!!

GoTiGs!

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Do other's tragedies often strike you as 'funny'?***


Sep 28, 2015, 3:50 PM



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Do you mean Obed's mental lapse resulting in him...


Sep 29, 2015, 6:36 PM

posting in the mange?

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I've got 4 extras in the South Lower for sell. I am asking


Sep 28, 2015, 11:54 AM

$650 each which is well worth it, IMO. I here your story and that is touching, but this is the biggest Tiger Game in years. What better way to spend $2600 than buy these tickets. I also have upper deck tickets on the North Side. 6 of them for $325 each. They all come with a lot 6 parking pass so it basically IS face value. Good luck getting tickets and let me know if you are interdasted. You can text me at 803-228-5569. Don't call because I am in super important meetings all day with my clients and I don't want them to know I am making extra money on there time.

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Oh man I would love to buy those but I just spent $2400 to


Sep 28, 2015, 12:28 PM

put new hydraulics on the ramp on my van....it is bright orange and says "STAY PAWSITIVE" on the side.

So given that, can you do those tix for $200 for all 4?

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tmale me, we can meat in the middle for about $1850***


Sep 28, 2015, 12:37 PM



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I had four extras, but just sold them to a


Sep 28, 2015, 11:56 AM

Notre Dame fan.

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"I've played multiple sports and would bet any amount that I'm still more athletic than you at this present time...."


Re: I had four extras, but just sold them to a


Sep 28, 2015, 11:58 AM

You dog...lol

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I for one can see why you would want lower deck seats.....


Sep 28, 2015, 11:56 AM

you know...the legs thing and all

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Hey tripod- You may need a suite


Sep 28, 2015, 11:57 AM

I dont think the regular bathrooms will work well for you!

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You make a decent case for getting the tix at face value but


Sep 28, 2015, 12:04 PM

unfortunately you don't have a leg to stand on.

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Aspiring member of the TigerNet Sewer Dwellers


Jesus Bob, this is no time to joke!***


Sep 28, 2015, 12:06 PM



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ROH


Wow bob, that's so insensitive


Sep 28, 2015, 12:06 PM [ in reply to You make a decent case for getting the tix at face value but ]

Although even with no legs, he's still about a foot and a half taller than you. So carry on...

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"IDIOT POSTER OF THE MONTH SO FAR...GWP-- You have won IPM Award for your failure to completely comprehend a clear post & then choose to attack someone who points out your ignorance. While you are not yet in the same No Class Catagory as deRoberts, ClemTiger117 & Tigerdug23, you are getting closer to the Sewer Dwellers." - coachmac


Well maybe with his


Sep 28, 2015, 12:10 PM

landing gear deployed.

Or so I've herd.

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Aspiring member of the TigerNet Sewer Dwellers


Oh, ha, that's a new one.


Sep 28, 2015, 12:14 PM [ in reply to You make a decent case for getting the tix at face value but ]

You bipeds are all alike.

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How did you know I was bi


Sep 28, 2015, 12:19 PM

ped?

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Aspiring member of the TigerNet Sewer Dwellers


Not that there is anything wrong with that...


Sep 28, 2015, 12:34 PM

ped

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I got you - won't charge cash- trade ONLY for Keowee Lot


Sep 28, 2015, 12:14 PM

that is in MIDDLE of everything

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null


This post has been running through my mind for like 20 min


Sep 28, 2015, 12:41 PM

now.

I was the guy that knocked you over in front of Max Lennon's house. I've felt the kneed after all these years to apologize, so here goes.

I'm sorry.

I've actually had those ashes all this time. For me they have represented our football program (broken, crushed, and withered to ashes) since that era. They've tailgated with me at the Avenue of Champions ever since that fateful night and I've been rebuilding them ever since Dabo became head coach.

Let me regress for a minute. When we hired Ken Hatfield, I brought the ashes to games in the amulet and dressed it with a block C hat like Danny wore as a symbol of hope.

In 1993 when we lost to Wake Forest I went home and poured all the ashes out into a blender, mixed them with tobacco spit and blended it all together in hopes to recreate what Danny did for us.

During the next off season I carefully dried them out and and got them back to their ashy looking form in anticipation of our next hire. I knew I'd done wrong and that we would meet again.

Tommy West came along and immediately lost to Duke in 1994. The ashes were then put into a tube and buried in the back yard right next to my Tony DeSue jersey, where they both belonged. Another loss to Wake Forest in 1998 caused me to stack a big pile of dead wood on top of the buried items as I thought our players played as if they too had dead wood. Nomesayin?

The ashes were dug up and put next to my bible in 1999 when we hired a Good Christian Man (Tommy Bowden). By 2003 I buried them again in a tunnel underneath my screen porch as the best way to represent my thoughts on bubble screens and tunnel screens.

I've been looking for you and for this moment ever since Coach Dabo Swinney was hired. I didn't exactly run to the ends of the earth to find you though...I knew we were just a nub away from greatness with Tajh at the helm and thought I'd wait until we were destined for a MNC. Today your ashes are located within the big toe of one of CJ Spiller's game worn cleats. All those toe problems he had? YOU try rushing the football with someones legs jammed into the big toe, pal.

This game, this season, this moment....we are back to where Danny (BY GOD) would have us. Now is the time for me to return your ashes.

You and your crew are all welcome at my AOC tailgate. Don't worry about tickets, I can forgo a few of the canned Natty Lights I take into the game via my wife's purse and smuggle you in there instead. Not sure I can help your buddies with tickets but I will try.

If you want to meet on my yacht out in Lake Harwell pre-game feel free. A guy named Bob will help swim you out to it and we can dry you off with a hand towel (I'm assuming you don't kneed a whole towel).

You can go out on a (my) limb with me and assume we will have a great time. Your friends may even be stumped by my generosity.

God Bless!

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whoah, hold on hoss.......


Sep 28, 2015, 3:01 PM

Are you saying my ashes don't smell like cinnamon anymore, because that's a big red flag?

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I'll be honest. I've done a lot with those ashes.


Sep 28, 2015, 3:07 PM

I have not sniffed them.

Snorted them? Yes, on the way home from Tampa trying to ease the pain from watching Kevin Steele force not one single punt from GT during the ACC championship game.

Come to think of it, there was a cinnamony smell but I was also chewing Big Red at the time. So I'm not real sure if it was the ashes or the Big Red or both that smelled like cinnamon.

I'll do a line of them with you on Sattidy at the AOC after I carry you out at halftime. Sound good?

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"That's gold, Jerry! Gold." ********


Sep 28, 2015, 2:04 PM



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.


Do you need seat-backs??


Sep 28, 2015, 2:11 PM

i mean, in general...you know, to um...stay upright while 'seated'?


I don't have tickets though, sorry.

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I use two of them, one facing forwards, one facing backwards


Sep 28, 2015, 2:15 PM

Sort of wedge myself in between.

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I can save you some money.


Sep 28, 2015, 2:19 PM



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Someone left the door to the lunge open again.***


Sep 28, 2015, 2:13 PM



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UNICEF --->***


Sep 28, 2015, 2:16 PM



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Did you find tickets?***


Sep 29, 2015, 7:54 AM



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Hi Toe, I did, thanks. And I like your user name...it


Sep 29, 2015, 9:30 AM

reminds me of when I had toes.

A benevolent REAL FAN and tigernet member is graciously giving me 4 tickets for the WEZ and also is getting me up into the oculus where I will scatter my ashes at halftime. They also donated a hand truck so my buddies can get me around the stadium easily.

God bless.

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When you're in that moment, the one that seems surreal


Sep 29, 2015, 9:39 AM

You're standing a live the frenzy for college football fans in the stands, standing on their feet cheering their teams on to victory hoping their team runs over the other and your about to spread your ashes, have fun with it, break a leg

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You can always count on a real fan (grad) when life kicks


Sep 29, 2015, 9:43 AM [ in reply to Hi Toe, I did, thanks. And I like your user name...it ]

your feet out from under you.

When we meet at the AOC pregame, I'll give you your ashes and we'll need to check the wind direction. If released from as high as the Oculus, they could blow into Lake Hartwell. I'm pretty sure that would only remind you of the swimming feeling you've had since that fateful night, not the running sensation that you were looking for.

For them to scatter we'll need to get them high before releasing them but only about Martavious high, not Oculus high if you're pickinupwuti'mlayindown.

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Now I know why Lou "Schwobbers"!!!!!


Sep 29, 2015, 10:58 AM

When the "Zero" Candy bars hit the turf in W-B, ol'Lou picked up what he thought was one and bit into it.

Unfortunately, ol' Lou is extremely allergic to cinnamon and it causes his nose to run incessantly and he also loses control of his salivary glands.





The Dr. is OUT!

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Now that was great***


Sep 29, 2015, 5:09 PM

nm

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Greatest Thread EVAR***


Sep 29, 2015, 5:11 PM



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Re: Looking for 4 ND for face value....


Sep 29, 2015, 5:25 PM

I would like to invite you and your friends to Maui this weekend to watch the game of the infinity. It will be cheaper than any tickets for sale. Can you swim?
Sincerely,
Bengal Ben
Self Appointed Maui Clemson Club President
And Professional Injuneer

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All seamed plausible until I noticed your


Sep 29, 2015, 5:35 PM

user name was Obed. Obed with no legs? Come on man!

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So....


Sep 29, 2015, 6:22 PM

Since you won't be using your free upper deck ticket, I'll purchase it for face value and help you back down after you dump your legs. Ok?

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This is the weirdest thread I've ever seen all day.***


Sep 29, 2015, 6:34 PM



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POTD!


Sep 29, 2015, 10:07 PM

Well played sir, well played!

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