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Anyone have any Advice/books/links on caring for elderly
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Anyone have any Advice/books/links on caring for elderly


Aug 3, 2017, 1:54 AM

Without going into a lot of detail, parents are in need of full time care. My dad particularly with being on oxygen and having other major health issues that has put him in the hospital multiple times over the last year and a half. He's a veteran, but hasn't gotten much assistance there, yet.. Still hoping for that. I have also looked into the major agencies for care giving and know what all that entails.

I was speaking more from a " helpful " article, book, link or something to help me to know how to know when to make certain decision, how to manage the situation, etc. I am wearing a couple of different hats right now as well as juggling a career and home. Sometimes it get's overwhelming. I thought maybe some T-Netters would have some helpful insight. I don't get to post a lot except some in the evening, but I read throughout the day. Any helpful info would be appreciated.

Thanks in advance,

ATech

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Re: Anyone have any Advice/books/links on caring for elderly


Aug 3, 2017, 5:40 AM

Agingcare.com is a good resource.

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Re: Anyone have any Advice/books/links on caring for elderly


Aug 3, 2017, 8:02 AM

Pray. Ask God for wisdom, decernment, understanding, and people to guide and help you. Call your local congressmen and Senators about the Vet care issues. Spend as much time with them as you can.

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tell the grandkids they are living books.


Aug 3, 2017, 8:28 AM

Give them the opportunity to share their stories of a time that will soon be forgotten.

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Re: Anyone have any Advice/books/links on caring for elderly


Aug 3, 2017, 8:28 AM [ in reply to Re: Anyone have any Advice/books/links on caring for elderly ]

My wife and I have been and are still going down this path with our mothers. My in-law passed six years ago after a steady decline. She lived to age 94. The care facility she lived in was good, not great. My 94 yr. old mother still lives at home! All her four children travel to spend a given amount of time each month caring for her.

Do you have any other caregivers? You clearly need advice, but also assistance otherwise you face burnout. Use resources locally and assess a budget for home healthcare. Get help from your parent's primary doctor and his church. These are but a few starting points.

Lastly pray for wisdom and patience.

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Re: Anyone have any Advice/books/links on caring for elderly


Aug 3, 2017, 8:33 AM

Have already been through this with my parents and in-laws. The greatest gift you can give is the gift of your own personal time. I'm so glad I took a short leave from work to spend more time with my mother. Have used both Full time in home care and a nursing home with varying results. Get recommendations from people you know on their experiences as local options vary widely.

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There are several key areas I would consider


Aug 3, 2017, 8:47 AM

I am by no means an expert on this subject, but have helped a good bit over the past 10 years with both mine and my wife's grandparents.

Step 1 - DEVELOP A LIST OF HEALTHCARE OPTIONS:
What specific levels of care will each of your parents require, and which option (facility; part-time / full-time in home care; etc) ensures they receive what they need. After researching all options, , I would make a list and rank the options strictly based on the level of care provided and how that care matches with your parents' medical needs.

Step 2 - WITTLE DOWN THE LIST - ask yourself the following types of questions, then use the answers to cross options off of your list...

Step 2.1 - Psychological Factors:
Parents:
How will your parents take to living in a retirement home? Would they prefer to have someone come to their home every day?
You:
How easy will each option be for you to oversee / manage / control? You likely want them to be as geographically close to you as possible. You probably don't want to put them in a facility in Columbia if you live in Greenville... For in home care, if they do not already live close by, moving them closer to you may be a good idea. (Bonus points for an option that is in between your house and work...)

Step 2.2 - Financial obligations:
What can your parents afford? Create a budget, then compare it against the cost for each of the remaining options on your list. Start with the highest option on your list that is affordable and investigate further. Go visit the place / meet with the in-home health team. If you approve, get your parents involved and make sure they approve as well.

If none of the options on your list are affordable, you will need to start over and expand your search. I would also consult a social worker at this point, since I am by no means an expert in this area and know nothing about what Medicare provides. I do have a sister-in-law who is a social worker that does this exact type of work, so TMail me if you want me to get some more specific recommendations from her on the process.


Good luck. This is not a fun situation to be in. About the only way to get through it with your sanity in check is to remain as pragmatic as possible.

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The road goes on forever and the party never ends...


Re: Anyone have any Advice/books/links on caring for elderly


Aug 3, 2017, 9:01 AM

We just went through the same situation with my Mom. You need a good core support group and must realize you can't do it all on your own. Amazing how fast you will burn out. Church leaders are always a good resource. It will get really frustrating and will have to pray for patience. Try and remember the good times when the dark times arise. God bless

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Re: Anyone have any Advice/books/links on caring for elderly


Aug 3, 2017, 9:15 AM

Home health is an excellent resource, but you have to do your research. Interview the nurses, CNAs, and social workers. Be sure the home health agency has a social worker on staff; good social workers are worth their weight in gold when it comes to healthcare.

Also, if you have siblings, don't be too shy to ask/make them help with the care of your parents. You can't do it all alone.

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Re: Anyone have any Advice/books/links on caring for elderly


Aug 3, 2017, 9:19 AM

Have you asked them what they would like? Do they have long term care insurance? Are they able to tell you what they want? All of this factors in.

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Re: Anyone have any Advice/books/links on caring for elderly


Aug 3, 2017, 9:55 AM

Obviously, most of you have experienced the problems Atech is facing and have offered excellent advice. The one thing I would add is to talk with your parents primary care giver. Get an up-to-date assessment of their current conditions and a time frame of their condition re the future. This should help prepare you for long term planning. You will face some tough decisions but don't overlook the fact you must consider what is best for both your parents and your family. I was very fortunate that my son-in-law is a MD and provided guidance re my wife's illness.

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Re: Anyone have any Advice/books/links on caring for elderly


Aug 3, 2017, 6:48 PM

A lot of suggestions that I hadn't thought of and I really appreciate it. Thank you!!

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Re: Anyone have any Advice/books/links on caring for elderly


Aug 3, 2017, 7:42 PM

I don't know what County your in but all of them have a agency that helps deal with situations like yours. Good luck and may the good Lord be with you because it can sometimes be troubling. Always remember they took care of you when you couldn't and it is now your turn.( Council of ageing)

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Re: Anyone have any Advice/books/links on caring for elderly


Aug 3, 2017, 7:46 PM

My family is dealing with similar with my grandmother. It's hard, in so many ways. Most of which is watching them lose their independence and the frustration it causes.

I know that didn't provide any suggestions, but I just wanted to say I get it and I hope you find a solution.

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