CLEMSON FOOTBALL

Pigskin Prophet: Georgia last won a title WHEN edition

Pigskin Prophet: Georgia last won a title WHEN edition


by - Contributor -

Fall camps are here, and that means it’s time to take a look at some of the different teams around the country. That includes Georgia, which hasn't won a title since great-granny had all her teeth.

The Pigskin Prophet has been busy trying to help the poor misguided folks in Columbia make good decisions, but that doesn’t seem to be possible. They are the gift that keeps on giving, whether it’s buying a million dollar chicken statue that isn’t quite right, angering their largest donor, a school President who has no clue what school graduation he’s at and then has to resign, or buying another huge banner (because the old ball coach banner worked out so well) to hang outside the stadium that is in the colors of Miss. St. Let’s face it, these people can’t get out of their way. Never have, never will.

But a new season is around the corner, and that gives everyone the hope that THIS WILL BE THE YEAR.

Let’s take a look at some of those schools.

GEORGIA

The last time the Bulldogs won a National Championship, 9 to 5 with Dolly Parton was the number one movie at the box office and a song by John Lennon was topping the charts. The local McDonald’s charged 15 cents for a hamburger and charged you two cents extra (17 cents) for a cheeseburger. The Bulldogs won that National Championship in 1980 (the game was played on New Year’s Day in 1981), but 1980 saw a lot of change. Mt. St. Helens erupted. The US hockey team won the Miracle on Ice. Post It Notes were invented, and Macaulay Culkin and Kim Kardashian were both born. A gallon of gas cost $1.19, a Magnavox VHS Recorder was $699, and if you had some extra cash laying around you could spring for a VHS Home Movie Camera for $1600.00 It was also the year we found out “Who Shot JR.” Blondie’s “Call Me” took over the airwaves, along with “Another One Bites the Dust” by Queen. Nighttime TV viewing and must-see TV were CHIPs, The Facts of Life, Dallas, and the Dukes of Hazzard.

In other words, an American we fondly remember but hardly recognize. It’s been that long. But Georgia always has hope. And good players. And they always get dashed because they’ve failed to hire a head coach that knows how to get them over the top. This year won’t be any different, and you can write that on a Post It Note, covered with ash from Mt. St. Helens, and sit down to eat a 17 cent cheeseburger while watching Dallas reruns on your Magnavox VHS recorder.

SOUTH CAROLINA

The Gamecocks have a new coach, and he’s the anti-Will Muschamp. He seems to be a nice guy. He’s Wally Cleaver in a sweatshirt. He’s 2 percent milk. He’s a piece of lightly toasted bread. You just don’t have strong opinions on old Wally one way or the other, he’s just in the background trying to keep the Beaver out of trouble. But South Carolina fans are excited as the low 3-star recruits – guys that chose the Gamecocks over Gardner-Webb and Liberty and Limestone and Sister Regina’s Sunday School Class touch football team – continue to roll in. They think they have a shot to do something, and some on their boards are predicting as many as nine or 10 wins. They play such luminaries as Eastern Illinois, Troy, East Carolina, Vanderbilt, Tennessee, so the potential for a few wins is there.

But let’s be honest, does Wally really evoke any kind of excitement?

GEORGIA TECH

I saw photos of where Georgia Tech head coach Geoff Collins rolled into the ACC Kickoff with dress pants about six inches too short, dress shoes with no socks, a Waffle House cup, and I thought to myself, “Geez, I really miss Paul Johnson.” They will be bad. Again.

FLORIDA ST.

The Seminoles are hopeful that Mike Norvell is the guy that can lead them back to prominence, but they forget that times have changed and Florida St. has a faded stadium, the fans have all but given up, and the athletic department has no money to spend. Other than that, they are in great shape. The Noles have a chance to be better, provided that they elect to play their games this season and not back out at the last second, but let’s face it, it can’t get much worse down there.

NC STATE

I miss Dave Doeren. Not having him pontificate about the Clemson game, or scream about laptops, or tell his players to take cheap shots, or just in general be Dave Doeren was missed last year when the Tigers didn’t play the Pack. This year, the teams renew the “rivalry” (Clemson has won every game but one since 2004) up at Jimmy Carter Chuck Finley Coliseum Stadium. The Pack are considered by many to have the second-best team in the Atlantic, so Doeren will be at his chippy best. It also means they will still lose four or five games.

LOUISVILLE

The Wally Cleaver of the ACC? I got nothin’.

MIAMI

Ah, you gotta love Miami fans. Like FSU, they want to be the former version of themselves, and now that the players can sign NIL deals with the local towing companies, bail bondsmen, and strip clubs, they can draw in some top talent (hehehehehe). I can even see a game where the Canes come out in some awful-colored uniform that says Chicos Bail Bonds on the back, just like the team in the Bad News Bears, because a “donor” funded the latest trip to Bonita’s Bouncing Babes. But this is another school where you look at the coach, and you just KNOW that they aren’t back. Not yet. Gotta get those NIL dollars flowing from Bonita’s first.

OHIO ST.

I’ve tried to hold conversations with several Ohio St. fans recently – they’ve come into the bank where my girlfriend works to get their “currency changed” before heading to Myrtle Beach (they think Dirty Myrtle is in a foreign country, like Cancun) – and they seem to be excited about football again. They fell just short of the title again last season but don’t seem to have the same ire for Nick Saban as they do Dabo Swinney. Their schedule is Clemson in week one, the Tigers of Clemson in week two, Clemson in week three, and so on. The other Ohio St. fans I’ve spoken to – the ones who have to use Chico’s Bail Bonds to get their wives out of Horry County Jail for sunbathing nude at the Motel 6 – recognize that their best hope is another 3-game season that starts and ends in November and a month off before the Playoff.

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