Tuesday August 29, 2006

A Neapolitan treat

Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry… mmm… now that half of you have gotten up to go get ice cream I’ll explain to the 5 people still reading what I’m taking about.

I’ll start with Vanilla. That’s the package Clemson will run vs. Florida Atlantic this Saturday. Most people who normally enjoy a more exciting brand of flavor/football will be in for a pleasant surprise! This isn’t that low-fat, low-calorie, low-carb, low-scoring vanilla that you can get at your local health food store… no, this is a new hand churned home-made brand of, fill your fat tub of fatty pants ego with delightful flavor and punishing delight!

Now, you are probably asking yourself, “what the heck is he talking about?”. Well, it’s simple… Clemson won’t do any gadget plays or anything funky but it won’t matter. The multiple layers of chocolate will be more than enough to satisfy anyone’s sweet tooth come Saturday. One layer of quarter back… added in with 4 layers of running backs, with 5 layers of wide receivers on top, mixed with a stellar helping of Big D and you’ll be vanilla and chocolated out by the time the final whistle blows!

So where does the strawberry come in? Well, that’s simple. USC and Miss St. (notice both team’s colors. *Wink, Wink*-- Yes, I know… it’s a stupid way to tie in the strawberry but shut it!)

USC and their fan base will have high hopes and expectations as they roll into Bulldog country to face a team that gave up 106 more points than they scored last season. They’ll be enjoying the sites and sounds before game but by half time the strawberries will be sour and Miss St will have them in a familiar and uncomfortable position. By the time the fourth quarter rolls around the game will still be undecided but USC will pull it out in the end…

So what do I think? Well, write it down, take a picture, call your mamma, eat at Joe’s…

Shoeless’ Fearless Predictions:

Clemson 41 FAU 10
South Carolina 17 MSU 14

The rest of the ACC, our opponents’ and top 25 games:
Boston College 28 Central Michigan 9
Temple 0 Buffalo 0 (yea I know they can’t tie but that’s just how I roll)
Arizona State (25) 30 Northern Arizona 6
Texas (3) 42 North Texas 6
Vandy 14 Michigan (14) 35
Western Kentucky 10 Georgia (15) 45
Montana 3 Iowa (16) 40
Northeastern 3 Virginia Tech (17) 31
Akron 6 Penn State (19) 38
Northern Illinois 3 Ohio State (1) 42
Rutgers 28 North Carolina 31
Marshall 24 West Virginia 56
La Tech 10 Nebraska (20) 36
Stanford 17 Oregon (21) 34
California (9) 20 Tennessee (23) 17
App. St. 14 North Carolina State 31
Southern Miss 10 Florida (7) 45
William and Mary 3 Maryland 40
Richmond 10 Duke 12
Syracuse 20 Wake Forest 7
UAB 10 Oklahoma (10) 39
SMU 24 Texas Tech (25) 63
Virginia 17 Pittsburg 20
Wash St. 3 Auburn (3) 45
LA Lafayette 0 LSU (8) 56
Notre Dame (2) 24 Georgia Tech 20
Southern Cal (6) 49 Arkansas 20
TCU (22) 35 Baylor 10
Kentucky 10 Louisville (13) 30
Florida St (11) 21 Miami (12) 20

Dang that’s a lot of predictions, and yes I know I won’t be 100% right b/c if I were… I’d be in Vegas and you’d never hear from me again after this weekend suckas!!